Work was so busy today that I didn't have time to blog there like usual. I finally got to 112 lbs today. Even better the tale of two scales matched exactly which never happens. I only weigh in on the second scale every so often now. Finally!! I've not managed to see 112 since Sept 6th! That it came after a weekend that I was out of town and ate more then usual is very odd indeed.
Class is an awesome get out of dinner free card that's for sure. I'm gone all day at work and then I get home at 10:20pm. Awww shucks! It's too late for dinner. So my cals were nice and low yesterday. Hubby wanted me to go to the gym tomorrow instead of today since he'll be home late tomorrow and he's making dinner tonight. I love it that I have a husband who wants to spend time with me. I hear stories about men who don't want to come home and I'm glad that's not us. Even though, he is all annoyed at me right now because he leaned toward me and I slammed my lap top screen down. He knows I have a private blog. He always says, "Don't you trust me not to look?" It's just a gut reaction. I get super paranoid when I'm writing in my "diary." He's making Chicken and we're having Naan bread. I'd feel much better about the possibility of maintaining 112 if I hadn't gained half a pound already from this morning. Oh well, at least I know that it's still possible.
Showing posts with label 112. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 112. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Great Weekend & Super Cleanse
I had an awesome weekend. I got to relax and be lazy AND be productive. I got some quality time in with hubby too. I love spending time with him. We didn't do too much but just being together and having those three days where we didn't have to work was really nice. Saturday we went up to the 'rents house and hung out with them for the day then went to dinner. Hubby got fried chicken with two sides and the three of us got the vegetarian platter which is basically four sides. I got the potato salad, greens, beans & rice and macaroni and cheese. I ate the macaroni and cheese and packed up everything else. I'd filled up plenty on corn bread and earlier I'd caved and eaten some baked Lays with wine at mom's house so that was plenty. 1,548 cals for the day. Not bad. Everyone else cleaned their plate. The rest of the weekend was spent at home. There was grocery shopping, homework, laundry, dishes and putting garage shelves together. We also did fun stuff like play a board games, watch movies and roast hot dogs. One thing we didn't do is have sex. Hmmm. We are in another dry spell. Normally that spells trouble for a relationship but that might not always necessarily be the case. Everything else with us is good so I'm only worried about it at this point because of things I read and hear telling me that I should be concerned. I'll continue to ponder this, I'm sure. I went to the gym Monday morning and did the Elliptical and got some good stretching in.
I started taking Super Cleanse on Thursday night. I was still desperate to keep my system moving, not really knowing if this would work on me but hoping that it would. What can I say? This stuff is awesome. Thank you, thank you thinplse for suggesting it!! I took one Thursday night. I didn't go Friday but by Saturday I went twice in one day. I went Sunday, Monday and this morning. Good solid BM's. The kind I wish I could just have normally. What a huge difference it makes in your weight loss efforts when you can have regular bowel movements. Forget laxatives. These are the real deal and better yet they are safe for long term use. The bottle says not to use it for more then 30 consecutive days whereas with a laxative I use it once and my system is messed up and dependent on it. I plan to take 1 or 2 every other day through the weekend because we are going out to dinner on Saturday then I'll give it a rest. I don't plan on overusing it. I don't want to make them part of my daily weight loss maintenance routine. I still plan to watch what I eat, keep up the fiber snacks and I REALLY REALLY want to try to be less afraid of drinking water. I'm not going to just eat what I want whenever I want and then rely on this pill to get it out. Chances are, I'd still end up gaining if I used it as an excuse to pig out every day and I don't want to abuse it. It'll be my way of purging but safely and not on a regular basis. Ideally, I just want to use them when I go out to eat because that's pretty much the only times when I tend to over do it. They will be great to take on vacation too because my constipation is usually even worse when I'm traveling even though I'm eating and drinking more. It feels good not to feel backed up and heavy. Now that I've been going daily I can see that part of the reason that I gain is simply because I can't take a freakin' dump and get rid of what I've eaten. Simple concept but my body doesn't want to cooperate on it's own so I'm glad I have this as a back up. Now for the downside. Flatulence. Not out of control but when it happens it's pretty bad. Air freshener is a must. Hubby decided to give the pills a whirl too. He's already regular so he just took one at night two days in a row and ended up going 3X in a day. What a pair we were!! I've been hanging onto my comfort zone weight by my fingernails over the last couple weeks and this has been a really useful tool in helping me maintain and lose some. I'm back to my magic number today. 112!! It's still early so we'll just see how it goes with these and I'll be sure to keep you updated.
UGGG...back to work today. And it'll be a long day because I have school. All the kiddos are back to school today so traffic sucked and on top of that there was rain. It's muggy and rainy which is really weird for this neck of the woods.
Comments:
Em: How do you determine your calorie budget?
When I was actively in weight loss mode I set my budget at 800. I bumped it up to 1,000 for maintenance mode because I wanted a more reasonable number for the long term. I also didn't want to feel like a total failure for being above calorie budget ALL the time. It felt a little piggish at first but I figured if I was able to maintain with a 1K target then that's where I'd keep it. I use an app for tracking calories and had to sort of tinker with it in order to get it off of some ridiculous number like 1800 that they want to recommend. I felt that about 50 over 1K is a good buffer and then the app automatically adjusts it up or down by a few pounds based on what I enter for my weight on each given day.
I started taking Super Cleanse on Thursday night. I was still desperate to keep my system moving, not really knowing if this would work on me but hoping that it would. What can I say? This stuff is awesome. Thank you, thank you thinplse for suggesting it!! I took one Thursday night. I didn't go Friday but by Saturday I went twice in one day. I went Sunday, Monday and this morning. Good solid BM's. The kind I wish I could just have normally. What a huge difference it makes in your weight loss efforts when you can have regular bowel movements. Forget laxatives. These are the real deal and better yet they are safe for long term use. The bottle says not to use it for more then 30 consecutive days whereas with a laxative I use it once and my system is messed up and dependent on it. I plan to take 1 or 2 every other day through the weekend because we are going out to dinner on Saturday then I'll give it a rest. I don't plan on overusing it. I don't want to make them part of my daily weight loss maintenance routine. I still plan to watch what I eat, keep up the fiber snacks and I REALLY REALLY want to try to be less afraid of drinking water. I'm not going to just eat what I want whenever I want and then rely on this pill to get it out. Chances are, I'd still end up gaining if I used it as an excuse to pig out every day and I don't want to abuse it. It'll be my way of purging but safely and not on a regular basis. Ideally, I just want to use them when I go out to eat because that's pretty much the only times when I tend to over do it. They will be great to take on vacation too because my constipation is usually even worse when I'm traveling even though I'm eating and drinking more. It feels good not to feel backed up and heavy. Now that I've been going daily I can see that part of the reason that I gain is simply because I can't take a freakin' dump and get rid of what I've eaten. Simple concept but my body doesn't want to cooperate on it's own so I'm glad I have this as a back up. Now for the downside. Flatulence. Not out of control but when it happens it's pretty bad. Air freshener is a must. Hubby decided to give the pills a whirl too. He's already regular so he just took one at night two days in a row and ended up going 3X in a day. What a pair we were!! I've been hanging onto my comfort zone weight by my fingernails over the last couple weeks and this has been a really useful tool in helping me maintain and lose some. I'm back to my magic number today. 112!! It's still early so we'll just see how it goes with these and I'll be sure to keep you updated.
UGGG...back to work today. And it'll be a long day because I have school. All the kiddos are back to school today so traffic sucked and on top of that there was rain. It's muggy and rainy which is really weird for this neck of the woods.
Comments:
Em: How do you determine your calorie budget?
When I was actively in weight loss mode I set my budget at 800. I bumped it up to 1,000 for maintenance mode because I wanted a more reasonable number for the long term. I also didn't want to feel like a total failure for being above calorie budget ALL the time. It felt a little piggish at first but I figured if I was able to maintain with a 1K target then that's where I'd keep it. I use an app for tracking calories and had to sort of tinker with it in order to get it off of some ridiculous number like 1800 that they want to recommend. I felt that about 50 over 1K is a good buffer and then the app automatically adjusts it up or down by a few pounds based on what I enter for my weight on each given day.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Back to 112 & Back to School
Sunday I took my laxatives and ate my Pizza as planned. The box said 1-2 so I took 3 because I remember in the past taking the actual dosage and then feeling like nothing happened. The only thing I should have done is taken them earlier. I took them around 1pm and they hit closer to 10pm when I was ready to go to bed. Mission accomplished. I was able to get rid of stuff that was probably just sitting there. It wasn't just water coming out either which was good. I felt like it was actually substance. Totally TMI I know....and I usually don't even care but this time, sorry!! I lost 1.5 lbs over night and was 112 by Monday. I went to the gym after work and burned 500 calories. I was down to 111.5 after the work out and kept my calories for the day at 748. This morning I'm still at 112 lbs. I'm not going to be working out today so I expect that it may go up but hopefully not all the way back up to 113.5 lbs. I know I can't abuse the laxies so I don't plan on doing it again any time soon. Oh how I wish there was just a magic pill to be the weight you want. Everybody would be thin and I wouldn't have to work so damn hard at it.
The reason I'm not working out today again when I normally would is because I have my first day of class tonight. Which means that I literally won't have time to eat which is a good thing since I can't work out. I'll be at work from 8-5pm and then my class goes from 6:30-9:50pm. Talk about a long day-but it'll only be one night a week. I knew I couldn't handle much more then that. I've been dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time. It's been a long time since I've been in school so I'm a little bit nervous. The last time I went I was a full time student and this time around I work full time so that's why I'm only taking 6 units. Plus, I don't really know where I'm going with this if anywhere. I have a BA and that's all I ever really intended to get but my job will allow me to go to the next pay step when I get 12 units which will be sooner then I would normally get it so I might as well. I'm taking a introductory Paralegal class and either a Nutrition or Health class (which will be online starting in October) depending on which one lets me in off the wait list. I'm hoping for Nutrition. I'm taking things that I at least have some interest in because I really don't want to hate this. I know it's going to take up a lot of my time which is why I was never interested in taking any classes ever again. I truly value my free time outside of work to sit on the couch, watch TV, relax and sleep but I'm just being lazy if I don't try to get my pay increase faster. In fact, I really should have done this sooner...I just wasn't ready. Also, I think it will be a good thing for me. It'll make me feel productive. If I decide to pursue the Paralegal certificate then so be it but I'm not going to commit to anything one way or another. We'll just see how it goes. It's kinda cool that hubby and I will both be students together. He's doing full time though (online) because he's trying to get his BA.
I have this feeling that hubby kind of would like me to go to school and have an actual career so that I could possibly make more money in the future. It's not that I don't want to make more money but I just don't know if I would. I've never had the best of luck in the job market and in order to leave where I am now they'd have to pay me more. Not that I'm making much money-but I've been here a while and moved up the pay scale enough that I might find myself starting out less in a whole new place. I know exactly what I'll make every year until I max out on the scale....which isn't that high. What I max out at is what hubby's starting salary was where he works! It's all pretty structured and laid out here. I have a couple co workers who have already maxed out and they say it kinda sucks. Anyhow, I told hubby from the start that I didn't make a lot of money and didn't really have any particular career aspirations so he knew that going in. Ever since I left that god awful stressful job I slaved away at for freakin' 8 years right out of college my main goal was to have a job with security that I didn't hate and that would allow me to keep my bills paid. And that's basically what I got. I used to make good money. I took about a 12k per year pay cut to come here but the peace of mind I get from having a job that doesn't make me sick is priceless.
Work has gotten busier for the last week now I'm in a bit of a lull which is fine. It'll get busier and busier from here on out. Hubby is back! I'm really glad I got my lazy butt up and made him dinner. It makes me feel so good to feed him and have dinner ready for him. I wish I actually enjoyed cooking....then I'd do it more often. I'll be doing my work snacks today as usual and then maybe a snack or two from my desk after work. I'm not really one to go out and buy food and I won't be home so that will cut out any possible snacking there. I may only get in 1 gym night a week now. Down from two, which was super pathetic already but the offset will be less eating since I'll be out all day and night. I swear I don't know how I made it through all those lectures in College because now in work meetings or conferences or anything where I have to sit and listen to someone talk I can barely keep my eyes open!! 3 hours and 20 minutes. Crap. We'll see how it goes.
The reason I'm not working out today again when I normally would is because I have my first day of class tonight. Which means that I literally won't have time to eat which is a good thing since I can't work out. I'll be at work from 8-5pm and then my class goes from 6:30-9:50pm. Talk about a long day-but it'll only be one night a week. I knew I couldn't handle much more then that. I've been dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time. It's been a long time since I've been in school so I'm a little bit nervous. The last time I went I was a full time student and this time around I work full time so that's why I'm only taking 6 units. Plus, I don't really know where I'm going with this if anywhere. I have a BA and that's all I ever really intended to get but my job will allow me to go to the next pay step when I get 12 units which will be sooner then I would normally get it so I might as well. I'm taking a introductory Paralegal class and either a Nutrition or Health class (which will be online starting in October) depending on which one lets me in off the wait list. I'm hoping for Nutrition. I'm taking things that I at least have some interest in because I really don't want to hate this. I know it's going to take up a lot of my time which is why I was never interested in taking any classes ever again. I truly value my free time outside of work to sit on the couch, watch TV, relax and sleep but I'm just being lazy if I don't try to get my pay increase faster. In fact, I really should have done this sooner...I just wasn't ready. Also, I think it will be a good thing for me. It'll make me feel productive. If I decide to pursue the Paralegal certificate then so be it but I'm not going to commit to anything one way or another. We'll just see how it goes. It's kinda cool that hubby and I will both be students together. He's doing full time though (online) because he's trying to get his BA.
I have this feeling that hubby kind of would like me to go to school and have an actual career so that I could possibly make more money in the future. It's not that I don't want to make more money but I just don't know if I would. I've never had the best of luck in the job market and in order to leave where I am now they'd have to pay me more. Not that I'm making much money-but I've been here a while and moved up the pay scale enough that I might find myself starting out less in a whole new place. I know exactly what I'll make every year until I max out on the scale....which isn't that high. What I max out at is what hubby's starting salary was where he works! It's all pretty structured and laid out here. I have a couple co workers who have already maxed out and they say it kinda sucks. Anyhow, I told hubby from the start that I didn't make a lot of money and didn't really have any particular career aspirations so he knew that going in. Ever since I left that god awful stressful job I slaved away at for freakin' 8 years right out of college my main goal was to have a job with security that I didn't hate and that would allow me to keep my bills paid. And that's basically what I got. I used to make good money. I took about a 12k per year pay cut to come here but the peace of mind I get from having a job that doesn't make me sick is priceless.
Work has gotten busier for the last week now I'm in a bit of a lull which is fine. It'll get busier and busier from here on out. Hubby is back! I'm really glad I got my lazy butt up and made him dinner. It makes me feel so good to feed him and have dinner ready for him. I wish I actually enjoyed cooking....then I'd do it more often. I'll be doing my work snacks today as usual and then maybe a snack or two from my desk after work. I'm not really one to go out and buy food and I won't be home so that will cut out any possible snacking there. I may only get in 1 gym night a week now. Down from two, which was super pathetic already but the offset will be less eating since I'll be out all day and night. I swear I don't know how I made it through all those lectures in College because now in work meetings or conferences or anything where I have to sit and listen to someone talk I can barely keep my eyes open!! 3 hours and 20 minutes. Crap. We'll see how it goes.
Monday, August 22, 2011
The Numbers, Aug 15-21
| Daily Summary | ||||||
| Budget | Food | Exercise | Net | +/- | Weight (lbs) | |
| 8/15/11 | 1,062 | 1,094 | 270 | 824 | -238 | 113.5 |
| 8/16/11 | 1,059 | 906 | 0 | 906 | -152 | 113.0 |
| 8/17/11 | 1,062 | 935 | 270 | 665 | -397 | 113.5 |
| 8/18/11 | 1,059 | 987 | 0 | 987 | -71 | 113.0 |
| 8/19/11 | 1,055 | 968 | 0 | 968 | -87 | 112.5 |
| 8/20/11 | 1,055 | 1,372 | 42 | 1,329 | 274 | 112.5 |
| 8/21/11 | 1,062 | 1,060 | 0 | 1,060 | -2 | 113.5 |
| 672 calories under budget for the week | ||||||
| Lost 0 pounds this week | ||||||
| Nutrient Summary | % Calories | |
| Fat | 250g | 28.9% |
| Saturated Fat | 97g | |
| Cholesterol | 358mg | |
| Sodium | 12,943mg | |
| Carbohydrates | 1,121g | 57.7% |
| Fiber | 185g | |
| Sugars | 324g | |
| Protein | 260g | 13.4% |
| Exercise Summary | Calories | |
| Jumping Jacks | 5 Min | 31 |
| Situps | 5 Min | 11 |
| Elliptical 270 | 1 Hour | 540 |
| Total | 582 | |
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Verge of Vacation
I only spent $170 last month. The bills are paid and I came in under my $295 budget for Miscellaneous and gas expenses. I basically bought gas, a car wash and some food at Walmart in July. I'm sorta getting used to being broke just like I thought I would. It just takes a minute to absorb the fact that you cannot buy well...anything for the most part. You have what you have and that's it. Once I accept it I just deal. Mani and Pedi's are at home and if it's your Birthday you are just getting a card. I don't think about shopping anymore. I don't think about things I want to do or where I want to go. I just sort of click that part of my brain off and get on with life as is. I hardly have any errands anymore because usually errands involve spending money. The $131 dollars I didn't spend will go towards my school fees that I put on my credit card. Now, if I decide to not make my condo payment I have a lot more money to play around with would be just lovely. I am leaning towards the foreclosure route but I technically have until August 15th to make that ultimate decision. Once I miss a payment there will be no turning back for me. I sent in my request to rent out my already rented out condo just to see what their answer will be. I'm hoping to hear back before the 15th to help inform my decision. If they say yes the rules are it's only for a year to give me time to re occupy the residence or sell it, neither of which are realistic options. So, even if I can stall this out for a year I don't think I should. I'd rather just save money and start on getting my credit ruined now so I can start on rebuilding it that much sooner.
My sister texted me on Sunday that she thinks has an eating disorder. Earlier that day she went to Winchell's and bought a Cinnamon Roll, Maple bar and carton of Milk and sat there and ate it in her car. She has to hide a single donut let alone two from her husband. They both knew she is trying to lose weight AND her husband is kind of a jerk who would give her a hard time about it. She may seek counseling because she constantly does things like this. She has to exercise so hard just to keep up with her insatiable desire to binge. She'll eat until her stomach hurts and can't keep ANYTHING sweet in her house or else it'll all be gone. I have a co worker who has always been slim. Not skinny slim, just normal average slim. I'd noticed that her thighs were starting to look bigger and then about a week later we were talking and she said she'd gained. She usually weighs 127 and had gained about 5 lbs. She says when she started college she was scary skinny at 112 lbs just naturally but she'd never want to be that thin again. We are the same height and that's what I weigh but I didn't tell her my weight even though I could tell she kinda wanted to know. I'm not the only one who has weight issues so I can have these conversations with people and chime in on all the right places. They don't even know the half of it. My sister knows I'm extreme but we don't talk about it.
 |
| Intake for Tuesday August 3rd |
Hubby made spaghetti with Italian Sausage on Sunday night (which I didn't eat because I had Subway earlier). I've been eating a smallish portion of that for dinner all this week so far in addition to eating as minimally as possible during the work day and keeping calories in the 800's. I got in my two 30 minute work outs on Monday and Tuesday. So glad I am done for the week and. 112 lbs today! Yeah. The two screwy scales were even in agreement today and read the same number which is a miracle. I was so afraid that I had lost control of my body. I tried not to let it freak me out too much but there is always that fear that I won't be able to do it again. That no matter how I try or what I do that my body will not bend to my will. I can live with being 114 or even 116 as long as I know that I have the ability to get back to 112 when I want to. It's the fear that I can't that sends me over the edge. Only 2 lbs separate me feeling comfortable and me semi freaking out. Crazy.
I accomplished my goal of getting to this weight before my vacation but now the fear continues about what will happen while I'm on it. Hubby has already said he wants to get McD's at the airport. He is wasting no time in getting into the whole vacation eating mode. No scale, away from home and gym, eating out, having fun, and hanging with friends and family is a recipe for disaster. I just keep trying to tell myself I can travel and not overeat. It is not the last vacation I will ever take and the meals I eat are not the last I will ever have. Except I most definitely will be eating Pancakes when we go to Cracker Barrel because we don't have one in our state. Thursday we are on a red eye flight so I should be OK that day. Friday through Tuesday will be the days to watch out for. I need to stop thinking about that part though and be excited that I'm going somewhere. It's not a vacation, vacation. It's a family reunion but it'll be a nice break from work and I always like to take trips with hubby.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Countdown to Happy Hour
So Wednesday was jury duty. We all got released at 10:40am and no one got on a case. I personally don't mind jury duty when there is not too much going on at work so I was glad to do it and was kind of bummed that we got out so early because I didn't want to go back to work. So I didn't. Instead, I went home changed and went to the gym. I did 30 minutes on the Elliptical and then my stretching and sit ups. My flexibility has come a long way since I started focusing on it. I can easily get myself into the splits and it feels more like stretch and less like pain. Then I went home, took a shower and got dressed again so I could go back to the courthouse and clock out at 1:13pm. Yep. I'm bad. Then I went home and sat my butt on the couch and watched TV. I loved being at home relaxing with my work out done and the whole afternoon stretched out ahead of me. It makes me think of how awesome it would be if I didn't have to go to work. Thursday was work, home, couch, bed. My ex texted me and sadly he is still not over me. He's the one who screwed up and "lost" me so I imagine that has to be tough to deal with. I do feel bad for him but it's his fault and I have happily moved on so there isn't much I can say.
I'm in maintenance mode AND I've tried to make my focus more on eating healthy then on eating minimally. I don't want my metabolism slowed up and I do want to be healthy. Then I got to thinking since maintenance is making me feel fat and hubby isn't here there is no need to bother at the moment. I was all concerned about trying to eating my party left overs but not anymore. I'll make sure my roasted potatoes don't go to waste. There was only one serving left and I can eat those tomorrow. I'll probably finish off the taquitos next week. They are only 200 calories for 3 which isn't bad, but I'm taking the pasta salad to my mom's when I go up there on Sunday. I was only eating 1/2 cup at a time which is hard to do sometimes since I want more but I'm over it. Before I started counting calories I used to make pasta salad with Italian dressing and eat it out of the bowl to my hearts content. Now that I am aware of the calories, although I love the pasta and actually do want to eat a lot of it I just can't bring myself to do it. Which is good but it still sucks. Last night I had Peanut Butter and crackers for dinner. Delicious! Peanut Butter is high calorie and high fat (though good fat) but it's not heavy so I can usually get away with eating it and not gaining-as long as I don't go too crazy. I've gotten to talk to hubby since he's been gone. Only about 5 minutes here and there but it's nice to hear his voice. It would not do for him to come home with a giant cell phone bill.
 |
| Ready for happy hour |
Thank goodness it's Friday. I left early on Monday and was pretty much off on Wednesday but it was still a long and boring work week for me. Tonight is happy hour with my friends. Time to let loose, hang out and talk smack about all the girls squeezed in their hoochie mama outfits. Yeah!!! It also means cheap wine and free cheese and tortilla chips. I never order actual food at these happy hours but I've been known to steal a cheese stick or a potato skin here and there off my friend's plates. 112.5 yesterday, 112 today.....I figure I'll do around 1200 or so today (at least-eek!!!) so we'll see what tomorrow brings. Let's hope my happy hour shenanigans tonight don't totally do me in. Five O'clock can't come fast enough for me. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
Comments:
Thank you all for your wonderful and sweet comments about my wedding post. It's one year after and I was sitting there thinking about my wedding and just started writing about how I was feeling. Once I got started I couldn't stop and all of those words and emotions just came pouring out of me. A lot of my posts are about my stress and anxiety lately because that's what I'm going through and this is where I vent about it but when I think about my wedding day I get all glowy and happy inside and it was a welcome departure from all the madness I'm dealing with lately.
Kristin: Yes, for some odd reason your first comment did go to spam. I just published it. I'm going to have to start looking out for that. Thanks for calling me skinny.
Sophie: How did you get those arms?
I did gymnastics from age 10 through high school. Standing on your hands for hours on end did wonders for my arms and the whole rest of my body so that even to this day I am pretty much toned all over even during my lazy periods in life when I totally quit working out. I definitely don't have as much muscle as I used to since losing weight but that tone is still there.
Em: I know you already commented on this post but after 2 hrs blogger still wouldn't publish the sucker into my dashboard so I had to delete and re post. Sorry. I think our minds operate similarly. I too have a scale obsession that I sort of keep on the DL from my huband! You don't enable comments. Might you at some point?
Monday, July 18, 2011
Playing Hostess
The work conference was boring at times but I got some really good information and it was better then being in the office. I think I did pretty OK at the as far as food goes. The hotel really rolled out the red carpet for us. The food was really good and plentiful. They had coffee, cookies, brownies and candy sitting out for a lot of it. They did offer some healthy stuff too. On Thursday there was lunch, Friday they had breakfast and lunch and Saturday just breakfast. On Thursday and Friday I basically couldn't eat when I got home since I'd already consumed my calories for the day which kind of sucked. That meant no TV munching. Saturday I made sure to do really good with my choices so that I could still eat when I got home. I am not a big fan of eating much during the day. It makes me feel heavy, I hate knowing that I can't eat anything else for the rest of the day and I get nervous when I see a higher number on the scale when I get home.
I did something pretty out of character on Sunday. I decided to play hostess and invited a few ladies over for a little get together. With hubby being out of town this was a good time to do it. My work conference ended at 12pm on Saturday and I went grocery shopping for it right after that. It takes me forever even with a list. Well, 2 hours but that was long enough. I have to look at the nutrition information on every package, consider the price and I can never make up my mind. Then, I started getting paranoid about if I was buying enough wine and everything else. It's quite exhausting really.
Sunday I got up and started some house cleaning right away. Then, I took a shower and started making my two simple dishes. I wasn't trying to do too much work so everything else I just bought. Around 2:30pm my first guest arrived. There were only 5 but everyone I invited (except 1) showed up even though it was pretty last minute. Being that it was my party it was nice to have control over the food. I had tortilla chips instead of Potato Chips. I knew that I had only used 1 tbsp of olive oil for the potatoes and that the Pasta for my pasta salad was whole wheat and the Italian dressing was Light. I knew how many calories was in the flat bread and made sure to buy the corn not flour taquitos. For dessert I bought light ice cream and sugar free pound cake along with a higher calorie Cinnamon marble for variety. I stuck to 1 taquito and about a 1/3 serving of everything else along with some wine and my dessert. I tried not to do too much snacking on the cheese and crackers or tortilla chips. I was really worried about the scale but when I weighed in that night I was surprised that I had only gone up a pound to 113. Huh? Usually after a party of snacking, munching and drinking I'm way up. I don't feel like I did too much different then I've been doing at social settings. I drank wine. I ate but with moderation. I kept the cals around 1,200. My results on the scale were better then I expected. I was back down to 112 lbs this morning. Yes!! So everyone had a good time and it was really nice having them over. I get so caught up in being a homebody who doesn't want to eat and isn't into cooking that I often don't make the effort to do things like this. It takes prep, costs money and you have to clean up. Sometimes I get all anxious about having a bunch of people in my house for some reason but I must say I'm really glad I did it. It's been a year and some of them hadn't even seen our house yet. They were most excited about the closet renovation. It is a pretty awesome closet. It made me feel good that I actually have friends that actually want to come over and hang out with me. I get so hard on myself for having "no friends" but the reality of it is that I actually do. We often go long periods of time without seeing or talking to each other but they are still my friends.
I am really missing not getting to sleep in on Saturday morning. It was only one extra 1/2 day but it makes a huge difference and I feel it now. Poor hubby. He is working 7 days a week right now. I don't know how he does it but I'm all worn out with 5 1/2. I have a dentist appointment so I get to leave at 3:30pm thank goodness. I had a weekend off but now back to foreclosure business. I tried to get through to a CPA this morning to talk about tax issues but ran out of time. I'll try again at lunch. I got to work early and faxed over my loan information to this guy who may be able to assist with a short sale if I'm allowed to go that route. My tenant was over on Saturday at my get together. Gosh, I feel soooo bad that all of this is going on and it's going to negatively impact her. I want to educate myself and figure out what I'm going to do before I mention any of this to her.
I found this video on the net a couple days ago. It took her about 3 years but she lost 110 lbs and looks great in a bikini now. Great inspirational story. Also, I know some of my followers are dance lovers so I wanted to tell you about Dance Mom's on Lifetime if you haven't seen it yet. Yep, another reality show. I discovered it last week and can't wait for this weeks episode.
I did something pretty out of character on Sunday. I decided to play hostess and invited a few ladies over for a little get together. With hubby being out of town this was a good time to do it. My work conference ended at 12pm on Saturday and I went grocery shopping for it right after that. It takes me forever even with a list. Well, 2 hours but that was long enough. I have to look at the nutrition information on every package, consider the price and I can never make up my mind. Then, I started getting paranoid about if I was buying enough wine and everything else. It's quite exhausting really.
Sunday I got up and started some house cleaning right away. Then, I took a shower and started making my two simple dishes. I wasn't trying to do too much work so everything else I just bought. Around 2:30pm my first guest arrived. There were only 5 but everyone I invited (except 1) showed up even though it was pretty last minute. Being that it was my party it was nice to have control over the food. I had tortilla chips instead of Potato Chips. I knew that I had only used 1 tbsp of olive oil for the potatoes and that the Pasta for my pasta salad was whole wheat and the Italian dressing was Light. I knew how many calories was in the flat bread and made sure to buy the corn not flour taquitos. For dessert I bought light ice cream and sugar free pound cake along with a higher calorie Cinnamon marble for variety. I stuck to 1 taquito and about a 1/3 serving of everything else along with some wine and my dessert. I tried not to do too much snacking on the cheese and crackers or tortilla chips. I was really worried about the scale but when I weighed in that night I was surprised that I had only gone up a pound to 113. Huh? Usually after a party of snacking, munching and drinking I'm way up. I don't feel like I did too much different then I've been doing at social settings. I drank wine. I ate but with moderation. I kept the cals around 1,200. My results on the scale were better then I expected. I was back down to 112 lbs this morning. Yes!! So everyone had a good time and it was really nice having them over. I get so caught up in being a homebody who doesn't want to eat and isn't into cooking that I often don't make the effort to do things like this. It takes prep, costs money and you have to clean up. Sometimes I get all anxious about having a bunch of people in my house for some reason but I must say I'm really glad I did it. It's been a year and some of them hadn't even seen our house yet. They were most excited about the closet renovation. It is a pretty awesome closet. It made me feel good that I actually have friends that actually want to come over and hang out with me. I get so hard on myself for having "no friends" but the reality of it is that I actually do. We often go long periods of time without seeing or talking to each other but they are still my friends.
I am really missing not getting to sleep in on Saturday morning. It was only one extra 1/2 day but it makes a huge difference and I feel it now. Poor hubby. He is working 7 days a week right now. I don't know how he does it but I'm all worn out with 5 1/2. I have a dentist appointment so I get to leave at 3:30pm thank goodness. I had a weekend off but now back to foreclosure business. I tried to get through to a CPA this morning to talk about tax issues but ran out of time. I'll try again at lunch. I got to work early and faxed over my loan information to this guy who may be able to assist with a short sale if I'm allowed to go that route. My tenant was over on Saturday at my get together. Gosh, I feel soooo bad that all of this is going on and it's going to negatively impact her. I want to educate myself and figure out what I'm going to do before I mention any of this to her.
I found this video on the net a couple days ago. It took her about 3 years but she lost 110 lbs and looks great in a bikini now. Great inspirational story. Also, I know some of my followers are dance lovers so I wanted to tell you about Dance Mom's on Lifetime if you haven't seen it yet. Yep, another reality show. I discovered it last week and can't wait for this weeks episode.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Never Ending Day...Bored....Hungry
111.8 lbs
So it looks like I'm not going with hubby to the East Coast. May was bad financially, I'm still trying to recover from that and I now am going to have to replace the AC unit in my rental property. It's going to cost anywhere from $200-$400 bucks. There's my airline ticket. I didn't even have the money to pay for it to begin with but with this on top of that there is no way. Also, I need to build up my savings and I never know if I'm going to get a full rent check or not. I am still paying off my car warranty from going on 2 years ago and I don't feel comfortable charging the AC unit and the airline ticket. That's just too much debt at once. If I have to do that then it means I can't afford to go and that's that. I told hubby and he is really disappointed. I think he wanted me to go more then I wanted to go but I still wanted to go ya know? There is his family reunion and friends wedding going on. I hate it when lack of money prevents me from doing things I want to do. I'm not even talking major gigantic things. I mean, I know there are things I will never be able to afford and I'm OK with that. But when I can't afford to go see hubby's family, or buy a shirt from Old Navy it's kinda bummer. It makes me feel powerless, alone and like a loser. It's too soon after hubby left for me to start getting all down and anxious so I'm trying not to let it get to me too much. Just like I'm trying not to think about the raise I won't be getting on my four year anniversary at my job next month. They changed the rules so it doesn't matter when you were hired any pay increases will not happen until January. So anyone hired between July and December pretty much got screwed out of a raise this year. Such is life.
It feels like this day is....never....going...to....end. I did some work stuff this morning and then around 12 pm I got a research project that passed an hour or so. It's totally deserted on this end of the office. Everyone is on vacation today and I wish I was too. I was supposed to go to happy hour with a friend but I'm bailing. I'm tired and I just want to go home. She had also suggested this game night that she goes to at a friends house and I wouldn't want to do both so I'm just doing none. I just don't feel like being around food temptation right now. One of hubby's former co workers called me two or was it three days ago to see about getting together and I haven't even called her back. I will today. It's just that this week was occupied almost every day after work and next week I have stuff to do after work Mon to Wed. By Thursday I'm beat and the weekends I just want to vegetate. There just doesn't feel like much time for socializing. No wonder I hardly have any friends!
I'm hungry as usual. This morning I splurged and had Peanut Butter on my toast and a piece of chocolate that our boss brought back from Vacation. I snagged a cup of fruit from the break room fridge. Still hungry. It's a test of will to hold out with just my little snacks during the work days I tell you. And being bored doesn't help matters any. I don't even consider going to get food as an option because the concept of eating lunch is mostly foreign to me. I can't really do anything too stupid since I only have what I have but oh how my tummy doth protest. Even still, I'm always trying to see which snacks I can possibly do without just to save more calories for when I get home. My scales are still pissing me off. The main one I use will flash one number then another. It seems to like to just say whatever I weighed the time before just for the hell of it. So, I'll do it again and it does the same thing or sometimes changes altogether. Then I stand on there with my hamper and/or only put half my weight to try to shake it up a little. Often it changes so that is the number I usually go with even if the other scale is way lower. It's this idiotic OCD obsessed looking routine. So annoying! Once I finally break out of this jail cell I'm going to go home, finally eat my left overs and watch a movie. Happy Friday.
So it looks like I'm not going with hubby to the East Coast. May was bad financially, I'm still trying to recover from that and I now am going to have to replace the AC unit in my rental property. It's going to cost anywhere from $200-$400 bucks. There's my airline ticket. I didn't even have the money to pay for it to begin with but with this on top of that there is no way. Also, I need to build up my savings and I never know if I'm going to get a full rent check or not. I am still paying off my car warranty from going on 2 years ago and I don't feel comfortable charging the AC unit and the airline ticket. That's just too much debt at once. If I have to do that then it means I can't afford to go and that's that. I told hubby and he is really disappointed. I think he wanted me to go more then I wanted to go but I still wanted to go ya know? There is his family reunion and friends wedding going on. I hate it when lack of money prevents me from doing things I want to do. I'm not even talking major gigantic things. I mean, I know there are things I will never be able to afford and I'm OK with that. But when I can't afford to go see hubby's family, or buy a shirt from Old Navy it's kinda bummer. It makes me feel powerless, alone and like a loser. It's too soon after hubby left for me to start getting all down and anxious so I'm trying not to let it get to me too much. Just like I'm trying not to think about the raise I won't be getting on my four year anniversary at my job next month. They changed the rules so it doesn't matter when you were hired any pay increases will not happen until January. So anyone hired between July and December pretty much got screwed out of a raise this year. Such is life.
It feels like this day is....never....going...to....end. I did some work stuff this morning and then around 12 pm I got a research project that passed an hour or so. It's totally deserted on this end of the office. Everyone is on vacation today and I wish I was too. I was supposed to go to happy hour with a friend but I'm bailing. I'm tired and I just want to go home. She had also suggested this game night that she goes to at a friends house and I wouldn't want to do both so I'm just doing none. I just don't feel like being around food temptation right now. One of hubby's former co workers called me two or was it three days ago to see about getting together and I haven't even called her back. I will today. It's just that this week was occupied almost every day after work and next week I have stuff to do after work Mon to Wed. By Thursday I'm beat and the weekends I just want to vegetate. There just doesn't feel like much time for socializing. No wonder I hardly have any friends!
I'm hungry as usual. This morning I splurged and had Peanut Butter on my toast and a piece of chocolate that our boss brought back from Vacation. I snagged a cup of fruit from the break room fridge. Still hungry. It's a test of will to hold out with just my little snacks during the work days I tell you. And being bored doesn't help matters any. I don't even consider going to get food as an option because the concept of eating lunch is mostly foreign to me. I can't really do anything too stupid since I only have what I have but oh how my tummy doth protest. Even still, I'm always trying to see which snacks I can possibly do without just to save more calories for when I get home. My scales are still pissing me off. The main one I use will flash one number then another. It seems to like to just say whatever I weighed the time before just for the hell of it. So, I'll do it again and it does the same thing or sometimes changes altogether. Then I stand on there with my hamper and/or only put half my weight to try to shake it up a little. Often it changes so that is the number I usually go with even if the other scale is way lower. It's this idiotic OCD obsessed looking routine. So annoying! Once I finally break out of this jail cell I'm going to go home, finally eat my left overs and watch a movie. Happy Friday.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Binge Day
 |
| To die for!!!! |
The good thing about being below your maintenance weight is you can have a binge day, gain and still be happy with your weight. Imagine that. Hubby and I re did our 2nd date from 3 years ago. During that time I was restricting as usual and probably hadn't had pizza in a while. So when we went out to pizza I ate a whole 10" pie by myself. He probably thought I was a pig. I LOVE pizza so I didn't care. I went to the gym in the morning and burned about 300 measly calories just so I'd feel better about pigging out. I'd woken up at 110.8 that morning so I knew I had room to spare. I've been looking forward to this pizza pig out for a while. I'd done tons of research to try to determine the calorie count. I was ready! We were starving by the time we got there. It was totally unchanged from 3 years ago the last time we were there. We started with garlic bread and beer. Everything was delicious! I ended up one slice short of eating the whole thing. I was full. I'd gotten my pizza and binge fix so I didn't see the point of stuffing anymore in. I think it was good for me to do this. Pigging out was awesome and all but I think I could have stopped sooner and still been OK. It's good to experience that and see that stuffing your face isn't totally all it's cracked up to be. It didn't stop there. There was gummy bears at the beach and then Peanut M & M's at the movies. It was fun, fun, fun!! I really enjoyed my date with hubby AND not being so concerned about what I was eating.
I ran upstairs to weigh in when I got home after the beach. We had some time to kill before our movie started. Only 112.4. I gained exactly 1.6 lbs from the days indulgences and that was right in my weight maintenance range so I didn't even care. I actually thought it would be more considering all the pizza I ate. I even ate the Peanut M & M's at the movies AFTER knowing this. They would increase my calorie budget for the day but I'd already busted that as was the plan. So what! I knew it wouldn't make me gain any more then I already had. M & M's are calorific but it's only ounces of food. Not very heavy. I forgot how good they are! This must be what it feels like for a skinny girl who eats what she wants without thinking twice and stays skinny. The difference with me is that I can't do it every day. If I worked out HARD every day maybe I could maintain....but that 'aint happening. Were I to do it again today and the day after I'd be out of my weight range faster then I could say "I'm fat" but one day of it was nice. I've got two sweat days at the gym on Monday and Tuesday to balance things out. I don't even NEED to lose. I did gain but it was a bit like having my cake and eating it to because I was low enough to start so I didn't gain enough to make me uncomfortable.
Part of our all day date was go cart racing. It was 10 minutes of trying to control this car around corners and it actually felt a bit like a work out on my upper body when I got up. I'm not sure but I think somehow it's made me sore. I've got these two knobby little bones on either side of my tailbone and by the time we went to the movies that night they were really sore. They hurt when I roll over on them and even as I'm sitting here in the couch. Hubby of course says, I need to put some meat on my bones. It's one of his favorite things to tease me about lately.
It's strange that my binge day is the number of calories that "normal" people eat every day. It's a little embarrassing because I usually don't eat this much but I'm going to post my daily log from a binge day anyways. I pigged out and lived to tell about it!!! I deserve a T Shirt. My lunch alone was over 1K. My goodness!! So today will just be about keeping the cals low and not over snacking. Hubby already tried to get me to eat pancakes and I basically demanded "NO." I understand he cares and wants to make sure I'm feeding myself enough but c'mon. I've been eating what he wants me to since he got home and he's got to let up or else it's just going to totally piss me off. He can't dictate every meal. He backed off. I'll be hanging around the house all day today. It was so nice waking up to an entire day stretched out of me with nothing to do.
Daily Report for Saturday June 11, 2011
| Daily Log | ||
| Breakfast | 60 | |
| Cereal, Original | ½ Cup | 60 |
| Lunch | 1,178 | |
| Beer, light, can/btl, 12 fl oz | 10 Fluid ounces | 86 |
| Pizza, Veg, Hand Toss, 10"(1/6=105g) | 5 Slices | 832 |
| Bread, Garlic | 2 Each | 260 |
| Snacks | 385 | |
| Candy, Gummy Bears, Haribo | 20 Pieces | 165 |
| Candy, Chocolate, Peanuts | ¼ Cup | 220 |
| Exercise | 314 | |
| Elliptical 270 | 30 min | 270 |
| Stretching | 25 min | 33 |
| Situps | 5 min | 11 |
| Nutrients | ||
| Fat | 58g | 29% |
| Saturated Fat | 22g | |
| Cholesterol | 55mg | |
| Sodium | 2417mg | |
| Carbohydrates | 258g | 58% |
| Fiber | 20g | |
| Sugars | 59g | |
| Protein | 56g | 13% |
| Summary | |
| Food Calories | 1,623 |
| Exercise Calories | 314 |
| Net Calories | 1,309 |
| +/- Calories | 315 |
| Weight | 110.8 |
Friday, May 27, 2011
Open Mouth Insert Snack
112 lbs
I did have that Bloomingdale's receipt after all so I returned my Med skinny jeanz leggings and managed to find a Small at Macy's. Yeah! That's done. This week I did my obligatory two 30 minute minimum work outs at the gym and other then that I come home watch TV and eat. I feel like such a slug spending so much time on the couch with my precious DVR and remote in hand. I could be reading or taking a class or many other such productive things but I'm lazy. Work has been slow because it's Summer and that's been nice. I've been surfing the internet a lot but I am getting some work done...in my own time. Bills due in June are paid up. I'm letting a little bit roll over into the next month. My shopping days are done for the foreseeable future. I have to buy a plane ticket soon for our August trip. And that damn condo is trying to bankrupt me again. Now the AC unit is broken and someone broke into the mailbox. Wonder how much that is going to cost me. It's two days past and they haven't even cut our checks for rent paid in May. I have no idea what's up with that but I have an e mail in to find out. It's always something. I'm looking forward to a nice three day weekend and getting my hubby back. We do face time on the phone so I get to "see" him every night but being on the phone is for the birds. I am not a phone person.
 |
| This stuff will be the death of me. 1/2 Cup = 80 Cals, 6.5 g Fiber |
My weight has been good. I've been steady in the 112's. I may have gotten the hang of keeping my calories low but I am not even close to keeping those calories clean. I'm barely inside the house and I'm already washing my hands so that I can grab something out of the pantry to shove into my mouth. Sometimes I don't even put my purse down. I'm just so hungry. When I had the french bread I'd grab it and take a bite out of the loaf like some kind of animal. Usually it's pretzels. I'll grab a few and put them in my mouth before heading upstairs to change. Then, the Honey Clusters entered the picture. I usually get the Original Fiber 1 which is 60 calories and 14 grams of fiber per 1/2 cup but instead I accidentally grabbed the Honey Clusters which have 1/2 the Fiber and double the calories. I need that Fiber and I couldn't be without my original so I went out and got 'em. I was going to leave the Honey Clusters for hubby but I couldn't stop eating them. They are just that good. I totally get that commercial where the guy walks around changing the Fiber One to Fiber None on the boxes. I went through the whole box one handful at a time. Literally. I plan to never ever buy them again. My only consolation is that it's semi healthy and I'm getting some Fiber. At least it's not potato chips. I gave up eating cereal with milk a while ago because I binge on it otherwise it could have been really nasty. And considering all of that Fiber I can't help but wonder why I haven't had a BM in 2...3 days? I'd been doing so good. I feel like I need to go but it's just not happening. Ugg...I feel like I'm about to explode.
Dinners I've eaten while Hubby is gone:
PBJ Sandwiches w/Pretzels
Deli Meat Sandwiches w/FF Pringles
French Bread w/Mozzarella Cheese on top
FF Hot Dogs-2 w/FF Pringles [once]
Ramen [once]
Salad Bowl w/Grilled Chix in it, Pre made from the grocery store [twice]
I eat my work snacks. I come home and eat my little dinner. Then have another snack which is usually light ice cream w/Pecan twirl or string cheese. Last night my dinner was this weird combination of a bunch of low calorie snacks that when added together keep me in budget but give me little to no nutritional value. They curb my hunger and satisfy the snack monster but that's about it. Hubby being gone has totally sent me into snack mode just because I can so I'm staying in calorie budget but feel totally out of control. I don't have to worry about eating a "real" dinner so I've been snacking myself into oblivion. Last night was the first night all week that I did not eat light ice cream and that's only because I couldn't stop eating those damn Honey Clusters. My sweet tooth is raging and I've been hungry. Not a good combo. I really need to clean up my eating. I need some nutritional value. I need fruits and veggies. I need real food now and then even though I tend to avoid it. It's so much easier to keep my calories low when I don't have to deal with "real" food. I thought I'd go out and get Subway or Taco Bell at some point....never happened. Hubby comes back Saturday. Say good bye to my perfectly neat house and bring on the food fest. He is bringing back Pancake mix from Cracker Barrel. Sunday's Breakfast. Then he was talking about going out to dinner on Sunday and then there is a BBQ on Monday. When I am forced to go back to "real" meals I'll have no choice but to curb the snacking. I'll have to go back to fighting my inner pig to stick to smaller portions. And cooking. Sigh. Tonight I'm planning on microwave popcorn for dinner while I watch a movie. I also have a craving for PBJ.....There might be ice cream after that.
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Comments:
Anonymous: Whoever you are thanks so much for that kind comment you left on my last post and thanks for reading my blog. I normally don't feel all that incredible so thanks for saying so!!
| Daily Log for Wednesday May 26, 2011 | ||
| Breakfast | 121 | |
| Bread, Double Fiber, Orowheat | 1 Serving | 70 |
| Jelly, Welch's, Reduced Sugar | 1 Tablespoon | 20 |
| Coffee, brewed w/tap water | 5 Fluid ounces | 1 |
| Creamer, French Vanilla, Fat Free | 1 Tablespoon | 30 |
| Lunch | 250 | |
| Cereal, Original | ½ Cup | 60 |
| Yogurt, Light, Vanilla, Dannon | ½ Cup | 100 |
| Bar, granola, chocolate chunk, chewy | 1 Each | 90 |
| Dinner | 297 | |
| Chips, potato crisps, sour cream & onion, fat free | 32 Each | 140 |
| Apples, fresh, sml, 2 3/4" | 1 Each | 77 |
| Cheese, String | 1 Serving | 80 |
| Snacks | 280 | |
| Pecan Twirl, Little Debbie | 1 Serving | 100 |
| Cereal, Honey Clusters | 1 ⅛ Cups | 180 |
| Exercise | 260 | |
| Elliptical 260 | 30 min | 260 |
| Nutrients | ||
| Fat | 16g | 13% |
| Saturated Fat | 6g | |
| Cholesterol | 27mg | |
| Sodium | 1394mg | |
| Carbohydrates | 204g | 76% |
| Fiber | 43g | |
| Sugars | 65g | |
| Protein | 30g | 11% |
Summary
Food Calories 949
Exercise Calories 260
Net Calories 689
+/- Calories -291
Weight 112.4
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Don't Expect Me to Eat
I flat out told hubby on Sunday, "Don't expect me to eat today." I was up to 114.8 (!!!). I did horribly at his B Day dinner on Saturday. I simply could not tolerate eating any "real" food and at that point I didn't care what he said I needed a food break. I needed to do what I needed to do and I did not want to have food pushed on me. He didn't bother me about it and instantly I felt relieved. A whole day to munch my way through and keep the calories low without worry of what I might end up having to eat, how I can keep my portion small or if I can control myself. He had an Egg McMuffin in the morning. I said no. He made a casadilla for lunch. I said no. When he made pancakes for dinner I said no. Oooohhh the wonderful smells. They teased me with their goodness but I had one thing in mind that day and it was to lose weight. I was happy with my little snacks and I accomplished my goal. I had Fiber 1, pretzels, popcorn, light ice cream and a pecan twirl. I busted out 550 calories on the Elliptical (Sunday work out...I was desperate all right) AND kept my calories at 752.
Monday morning I was down to 113.6. I was determined to have a nice low calorie count and keep up the good work. I did not eat or hoard any donuts. I did cut off about an inch to get a taste but that's it! Back to the gym I went after work and busted out 580 calories on the Elliptical (6.53 miles in 1 hour). Even though I went and picked up Cup Cakes for hubby's Birthday I refused to eat one. I had room in the budget but I just wanted to have another nice low calorie day and hopefully drop. I spent a ridiculous amount of time calculating the calories for the cup cakes without hubby noticing. Wouldn't want him to think I'm obsessed or anything! I had to know so I'd be ready to eat one the next day. Using the handy, dandy scale: 3.8 oz. For dinner I just had a Turkey sandwich and pretzels.
Tuesday I was down to 112.4. Hallelujah! One more day to go at the gym and then I'd be done for the week. I did this cross treck something or other Elliptical. Not the one I usually do and barley managed to burn 475 cals in an hour. I was bummed but I could really feel how much more that one works your legs so then I was ok with it. Another Turkey sandwich and pretzels for dinner. Turns out there are two weights of cup cakes. I assumed they were all 3.8 but when I picked up the red velvet one I'd planned to eat it felt so heavy. Turns out it was. 4.5 oz. I had to do more research to find out the count for that one. I scraped off all but a thin layer of frosting to minimize the damage.
Today, 111.8 and I did it. It's a darn good thing I set my weight range on the low end because it takes so many screw ups for me to seriously get my head in the game. My sweet cravings have been kicking my butt. Before this my holy crap freak out weight that I finally got serious at was 120 and this time it was 114.8. That means, even with all of my slacking off I don't get too far out of control. We had this honors luncheon for work that I had to work at and I did eat. But very carefully. Just a little bit of the sides and about 2 bites of chicken. I will not be eating dinner. Hubby is making some fish and I get home late so I'm off the hook. I can still keep the calories low. And now that I finally got the weight down I am off for vacation tomorrow. I am freaking out about not being able to weigh myself but it's really only 3 mornings. I am still in my damage control mode so hopefully I won't blow it. I don't want to start all over again!!!!! I'm sure this isn't the last time I'll get lax and have to work so hard to regroup. It's a cycle. I just don't want it to happen so soon after I just went through it. I don't expect 111.8 to last necessarily but I don't want to come home at 114.8!
Aside from fighting the battle of the bulge it's just been a very fast moving and busy week. And HOT too. Every day the gym and errands on my lunch break. Luckily work has been slow and I'm caught up so I've been able to make phone calls and get personal stuff done. I am lagging on getting my Mom's day and Sis B Day gifts out. The book I made for mom won't make it until the week of. I have a hair appointment tonight. I won't get home 'till late then I have to pack. The surprise dinner Saturday turned out so well. Hubby had a good time and got more toasted then I've ever seen him in his life. I was so happy that I managed to pull it off and bring all his friends together to celebrate with him. It was a really fun night! His friends picked up the tab so neither one of us had to pay. Awesome! His friends bought him drinks. I spent $20 on two drinks-one for each of us and $10 for parking. I'd say I got off pretty good there. Overall, it's still this bizarre feeling of spending money I don't have. It should all even out next month but for now I just feel anxious.
Q & A:
A couple of you commented on my last post with pics asking if that was me. Yep. It's me. And thank you for the kind comments. Imagine if I posted that anywhere else? People would think I'm crazy for idolizing thin and bones. Hell, maybe I am but you all understand where I am coming from and that's why I love posting here so much.
Monday morning I was down to 113.6. I was determined to have a nice low calorie count and keep up the good work. I did not eat or hoard any donuts. I did cut off about an inch to get a taste but that's it! Back to the gym I went after work and busted out 580 calories on the Elliptical (6.53 miles in 1 hour). Even though I went and picked up Cup Cakes for hubby's Birthday I refused to eat one. I had room in the budget but I just wanted to have another nice low calorie day and hopefully drop. I spent a ridiculous amount of time calculating the calories for the cup cakes without hubby noticing. Wouldn't want him to think I'm obsessed or anything! I had to know so I'd be ready to eat one the next day. Using the handy, dandy scale: 3.8 oz. For dinner I just had a Turkey sandwich and pretzels.
Tuesday I was down to 112.4. Hallelujah! One more day to go at the gym and then I'd be done for the week. I did this cross treck something or other Elliptical. Not the one I usually do and barley managed to burn 475 cals in an hour. I was bummed but I could really feel how much more that one works your legs so then I was ok with it. Another Turkey sandwich and pretzels for dinner. Turns out there are two weights of cup cakes. I assumed they were all 3.8 but when I picked up the red velvet one I'd planned to eat it felt so heavy. Turns out it was. 4.5 oz. I had to do more research to find out the count for that one. I scraped off all but a thin layer of frosting to minimize the damage.
Today, 111.8 and I did it. It's a darn good thing I set my weight range on the low end because it takes so many screw ups for me to seriously get my head in the game. My sweet cravings have been kicking my butt. Before this my holy crap freak out weight that I finally got serious at was 120 and this time it was 114.8. That means, even with all of my slacking off I don't get too far out of control. We had this honors luncheon for work that I had to work at and I did eat. But very carefully. Just a little bit of the sides and about 2 bites of chicken. I will not be eating dinner. Hubby is making some fish and I get home late so I'm off the hook. I can still keep the calories low. And now that I finally got the weight down I am off for vacation tomorrow. I am freaking out about not being able to weigh myself but it's really only 3 mornings. I am still in my damage control mode so hopefully I won't blow it. I don't want to start all over again!!!!! I'm sure this isn't the last time I'll get lax and have to work so hard to regroup. It's a cycle. I just don't want it to happen so soon after I just went through it. I don't expect 111.8 to last necessarily but I don't want to come home at 114.8!
Aside from fighting the battle of the bulge it's just been a very fast moving and busy week. And HOT too. Every day the gym and errands on my lunch break. Luckily work has been slow and I'm caught up so I've been able to make phone calls and get personal stuff done. I am lagging on getting my Mom's day and Sis B Day gifts out. The book I made for mom won't make it until the week of. I have a hair appointment tonight. I won't get home 'till late then I have to pack. The surprise dinner Saturday turned out so well. Hubby had a good time and got more toasted then I've ever seen him in his life. I was so happy that I managed to pull it off and bring all his friends together to celebrate with him. It was a really fun night! His friends picked up the tab so neither one of us had to pay. Awesome! His friends bought him drinks. I spent $20 on two drinks-one for each of us and $10 for parking. I'd say I got off pretty good there. Overall, it's still this bizarre feeling of spending money I don't have. It should all even out next month but for now I just feel anxious.
Q & A:
A couple of you commented on my last post with pics asking if that was me. Yep. It's me. And thank you for the kind comments. Imagine if I posted that anywhere else? People would think I'm crazy for idolizing thin and bones. Hell, maybe I am but you all understand where I am coming from and that's why I love posting here so much.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
I'll Have My Cake & Eat it Too
YESTERDAY: 113 lbs, 1,119 calories in, 550 calories burned
TODAY: 112 lbs!!
I really did kick that cake's ASS. I ate a freaking 639 calorie slice of cake, with a scoop of light ice cream on the side I might add, for 5 days in a row starting April 1st AND I totally pigged out on April 1st and 2nd to the tune of 1700 calorie a day average. I was 112 on April 1st, went all the way up to 115.4 and now I'm back down to 112 in 6 days. Take that you deliciously horrible cake! I really did get to have my cake and eat it to which is something I've trained myself to never truly believe. Never mind all the anxiety I went through. In fact, next time I should just do myself a favor and skip that part. There will be a next time I'm sure because food happens. Although not to the extent of a daily 639 calorie slice of cake but still. I'm not religious but I said "Hallelujah" when I saw that number on the scale this morning. This shows me that it's not the end of the world if I eat a crap load of calories one day. I can fix it. I went to the gym every single day in order to compensate which truly sucked but I did it. I was so stressed out over something as simple yet not so simple as cake. It sounds ridiculous really when I think about it but the anxiety was real and I'm not looking to repeat this scenario anytime soon. It's very true that I didn't HAVE to eat it. I could lie and throw it in the trash but truth be told I felt obligated and I did want it. If I had it to do over again there is no way in hell I'd have invited that crazy cake into my house and if he makes one again for the hell of it I might eat a slice but I won't be nearly as committed as I am to this one since it was my B Day cake. He'll be on his own. Next year I will not have a cake like this beckoning to me from my refrigerator every day. At least not on my account. I don't care what hubby says. He makes it healthy or he doesn't make it at all. I'd have even been better off with the Lemon Cooler Cake that I love so much from Costco with 1/2 the calories. So anyways. Valuable lesson learned. In a way it might be a good thing I went through this. I did something that seemed to be a fate worse then death and lived to tell about it. Something I thought would destroy me and send me into irreparable fatness. Apparently I can maintain this weight, which is practically a miracle that I never imagined would be possible. Not that it's always easy. Not that I won't screw up. But, as long as I stay the course it's possible.
Last night's dinner was a delightfully healthy Chicken breast and salad. I did have another piece of cake with my obligatory scoop of ice cream for dessert but I am taking a break today. No cake. No gym either for that matter. Not that I won't have something sweet but it sure as hell won't be 600 calories worth. I'll deal with what's left of the cake later.
I am sitting here right now at work about to fall asleep and starving. My stomach doth protest. I still have to go get my hair done after work so it's a long day and I won't get home until about 7:30pm. I have so much to do. There is work I should be trying to get done during this last hour of but I'm just so dang tired. I just got back from this boring meeting not too long ago and ate some yogurt. I can feel my eyelids burning and if I don't get some sleep tonight I'll be in big trouble. Staying up late to organize my closet was worth it. I love it. It feels like I'm in a clothing store with the white shelves and the clothes all lined up in their neat little shelves but it's not. It's my closet and those are my clothes. It's every woman's dream come true, and it was worth every penny.
TODAY: 112 lbs!!
I really did kick that cake's ASS. I ate a freaking 639 calorie slice of cake, with a scoop of light ice cream on the side I might add, for 5 days in a row starting April 1st AND I totally pigged out on April 1st and 2nd to the tune of 1700 calorie a day average. I was 112 on April 1st, went all the way up to 115.4 and now I'm back down to 112 in 6 days. Take that you deliciously horrible cake! I really did get to have my cake and eat it to which is something I've trained myself to never truly believe. Never mind all the anxiety I went through. In fact, next time I should just do myself a favor and skip that part. There will be a next time I'm sure because food happens. Although not to the extent of a daily 639 calorie slice of cake but still. I'm not religious but I said "Hallelujah" when I saw that number on the scale this morning. This shows me that it's not the end of the world if I eat a crap load of calories one day. I can fix it. I went to the gym every single day in order to compensate which truly sucked but I did it. I was so stressed out over something as simple yet not so simple as cake. It sounds ridiculous really when I think about it but the anxiety was real and I'm not looking to repeat this scenario anytime soon. It's very true that I didn't HAVE to eat it. I could lie and throw it in the trash but truth be told I felt obligated and I did want it. If I had it to do over again there is no way in hell I'd have invited that crazy cake into my house and if he makes one again for the hell of it I might eat a slice but I won't be nearly as committed as I am to this one since it was my B Day cake. He'll be on his own. Next year I will not have a cake like this beckoning to me from my refrigerator every day. At least not on my account. I don't care what hubby says. He makes it healthy or he doesn't make it at all. I'd have even been better off with the Lemon Cooler Cake that I love so much from Costco with 1/2 the calories. So anyways. Valuable lesson learned. In a way it might be a good thing I went through this. I did something that seemed to be a fate worse then death and lived to tell about it. Something I thought would destroy me and send me into irreparable fatness. Apparently I can maintain this weight, which is practically a miracle that I never imagined would be possible. Not that it's always easy. Not that I won't screw up. But, as long as I stay the course it's possible.
Last night's dinner was a delightfully healthy Chicken breast and salad. I did have another piece of cake with my obligatory scoop of ice cream for dessert but I am taking a break today. No cake. No gym either for that matter. Not that I won't have something sweet but it sure as hell won't be 600 calories worth. I'll deal with what's left of the cake later.
I am sitting here right now at work about to fall asleep and starving. My stomach doth protest. I still have to go get my hair done after work so it's a long day and I won't get home until about 7:30pm. I have so much to do. There is work I should be trying to get done during this last hour of but I'm just so dang tired. I just got back from this boring meeting not too long ago and ate some yogurt. I can feel my eyelids burning and if I don't get some sleep tonight I'll be in big trouble. Staying up late to organize my closet was worth it. I love it. It feels like I'm in a clothing store with the white shelves and the clothes all lined up in their neat little shelves but it's not. It's my closet and those are my clothes. It's every woman's dream come true, and it was worth every penny.
Friday, April 1, 2011
It's Just Cake
112 lbs
It's times like this when I really hate my food hang ups. Hubby is making me the most wonderful chocolate peanut butter cake for my Birthday. From scratch no less. He refused to give me the recipe at first but I insisted that I have it and he gave it to me only with the condition that I don't let it affect my eating. I must not skip real food just to eat this cake. I agreed. I plugged it into my recipe calorie calculator and then I got really bummed out. This cake is ungodly, disgustingly, horribly laden with calories and fat. I had no idea it would be this bad. There is absolutely no way to work this into my calorie budget like I've been able to do with other sweets and desserts. One good sized slice of this cake is the calories of what even normal people eat in one day. I was really looking forward to just letting lose and indulging and now I am just feeling trapped and confused on how I can have my cake and eat it too.
When I toy with the serving sizes the lowest I can reasonably get it is down to about 800 calories!! I know. It's horrible. Ignorance truly is bliss. Now that I have this information about my cake there is no way I can truly enjoy it like the last time he made one. It wasn't for my B Day but I ate it like it was nothing because I didn't know the true awfulness of it. It was about the best cake I've ever had in my life but undoubtedly loaded with more calories then I thought possible. It was June of last year and I wasn't hard core calorie tracking so I just ate it. Not eating the cake is not an option. I freakin' asked for it and hubby was sweet enough to make it one armed and all. I am so kicking myself in the butt for this and will NOT be asking for a cake from scratch next year or I will INSIST that hubby make it healthy which he basically refused to do this time because he said it defeated the purpose or some such nonsense.
Here are my options. None of which are very good.
Today was a blast. I don't like to work on my birthday if I can help it so I took a much needed day off and spent my bright sunny birthday with hubby and loved every minute. I took the time to put on a little make up so I felt pretty. Hubby gave me a $100 gift card to one of my fav stores and I can't wait to shop! I ate A LOT!! We went downtown and caught a movie. I ate popcorn AND drank diet soda. I bought a cute top at this little boutique. Then, we went to two different spots for happy hour where I indulged in what I wanted. I logged in 1600 calories today and not even my 30 minute Elliptical work out in the morning can save me. I weighed in when I got home and it was 115.2!!! I still have my B Day dinner with family tomorrow AND the heaviest most fattening cake in the world to eat. I'm already adding in a trip to the gym for tomorrow and I will probably be compelled to do some sort of work out on Sunday too. I'm not eating any food all day tomorrow until dinner. I will be sweating my heart out on Monday and Tuesday at the gym for sure and that is my only hope of undoing the damage that undoubtedly will be done.
It's times like this when I really hate my food hang ups. Hubby is making me the most wonderful chocolate peanut butter cake for my Birthday. From scratch no less. He refused to give me the recipe at first but I insisted that I have it and he gave it to me only with the condition that I don't let it affect my eating. I must not skip real food just to eat this cake. I agreed. I plugged it into my recipe calorie calculator and then I got really bummed out. This cake is ungodly, disgustingly, horribly laden with calories and fat. I had no idea it would be this bad. There is absolutely no way to work this into my calorie budget like I've been able to do with other sweets and desserts. One good sized slice of this cake is the calories of what even normal people eat in one day. I was really looking forward to just letting lose and indulging and now I am just feeling trapped and confused on how I can have my cake and eat it too.
When I toy with the serving sizes the lowest I can reasonably get it is down to about 800 calories!! I know. It's horrible. Ignorance truly is bliss. Now that I have this information about my cake there is no way I can truly enjoy it like the last time he made one. It wasn't for my B Day but I ate it like it was nothing because I didn't know the true awfulness of it. It was about the best cake I've ever had in my life but undoubtedly loaded with more calories then I thought possible. It was June of last year and I wasn't hard core calorie tracking so I just ate it. Not eating the cake is not an option. I freakin' asked for it and hubby was sweet enough to make it one armed and all. I am so kicking myself in the butt for this and will NOT be asking for a cake from scratch next year or I will INSIST that hubby make it healthy which he basically refused to do this time because he said it defeated the purpose or some such nonsense.
Here are my options. None of which are very good.
- I can track my calories as usual and watch see the ungodly numbers that will undoubtedly make my stomach turn every day I eat the cake.
- I could throw caution to the wind and do something I have not done for a really, really, long time. I can take a calorie counting break for a couple days or a week or however long the damn cake is still in the house. I don't even know what this would feel like or how anxious I might become because it's been so long that I've logged basically every morsel I've put into my mouth.
- I can only allow myself to eat the cake if I go to the gym. A 250 calorie day won't even make a dent. I'd have to burn at least 500 calories to truly justify it. Monday and Tuesday are my heavy days at the gym so that figures in nicely but what about all the other days?
- I can eat a very, very minuscule piece. Which I'm probably going to have to do every day that I eat it anyways (except maybe day 1 when my family is here). I still fear that even a tiny piece would be too damaging on my calorie budget and I can hardly bear to log it in.
- I can eat one small slice tomorrow, let my family take some home and then take a bite here and there but otherwise throw some of it in the trash day by day until it's gone or give it away at work. Oh, how horrible I would feel about this. Not only because I'm sure the cake is gonna be delicious but because hubby made it specially for me. I did ask him to after all.
Today was a blast. I don't like to work on my birthday if I can help it so I took a much needed day off and spent my bright sunny birthday with hubby and loved every minute. I took the time to put on a little make up so I felt pretty. Hubby gave me a $100 gift card to one of my fav stores and I can't wait to shop! I ate A LOT!! We went downtown and caught a movie. I ate popcorn AND drank diet soda. I bought a cute top at this little boutique. Then, we went to two different spots for happy hour where I indulged in what I wanted. I logged in 1600 calories today and not even my 30 minute Elliptical work out in the morning can save me. I weighed in when I got home and it was 115.2!!! I still have my B Day dinner with family tomorrow AND the heaviest most fattening cake in the world to eat. I'm already adding in a trip to the gym for tomorrow and I will probably be compelled to do some sort of work out on Sunday too. I'm not eating any food all day tomorrow until dinner. I will be sweating my heart out on Monday and Tuesday at the gym for sure and that is my only hope of undoing the damage that undoubtedly will be done.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The Numbers, Mar 14-20
Cals: 1,106
Exercise: 600
112 lbs
I've got so much work to do! Thank goodness we aren't having our annoying staff meeting this morning. Our job has this bizarre practice of allowing us to serve on committees and hire our co workers. I was on a hiring board all day yesterday that I totally forgot about until that very morning. I'm such a mess. I was like, "What's the coffee for?" and she told me it was for the meeting I'm in. "I don't have a meeting I insisted." "Yes you do, the hiring committee." Oops. I put my toast away because I knew they were bringing breakfast which turned out to be this 300 calorie pound cake. Horribly delicious and horribly calorie filled. I ate one and then looked at the calories. I'm always guilty of this. There are some left over today but I stuck to my fiber filled toast with jelly. It was so not worth it. 300 calories gone so early in the day. It was good but not THAT good. They also provided lunch. I ate 1/2 the sandwich right then and then the other 1/2 at home after the gym. I had no choice given that pound cake (which is so aptly named by the way) and the fact that I ate too many of the mini chocolates that were spread out on the table in front of us. I saved the pasta salad, diet coke and baked chips for whenever. Being the food hoarder that I am I also snagged an extra diet coke and bag of baked lays. My free food obsession tells me that I must take it but I don't have to eat it right then.
I practically feel asleep on the Elliptical yesterday when I started out. I was so tired and I did not want to be there. About 25 minutes in it got awesome and then it got hard again. 600 calories gone. I've had a lot of 1k plus days over the last week. I'm still maintaining so that's good but something about eating over 1k on a regular basis makes me feel like a pig. When I started out losing it was 700's then it went to 800's now it's 900-1k. I guess there is more leeway in maintenance since it's not just about lose, lose, lose. I'll just watch it and if I feel like I'm actually gaining then I'll make adjustments from there.
Weekly Summary, March 14
| Daily Summary | ||||||
| Budget | Food | Exercise | Net | +/- | Weight (lbs) | |
| 3/14/11 | 967 | 897 | 0 | 897 | -70 | 113.2 |
| 3/15/11 | 967 | 1,070 | 250 | 820 | -148 | 113.2 |
| 3/16/11 | 967 | 850 | 0 | 850 | -117 | 113.2 |
| 3/17/11 | 959 | 890 | 250 | 640 | -319 | 112 |
| 3/18/11 | 951 | 1,203 | 0 | 1,203 | 251 | 110.8 |
| 3/19/11 | 953 | 1,012 | 11 | 1,001 | 49 | 111 |
| 3/20/11 | 954 | 1,010 | 0 | 1,010 | 56 | 111.2 |
| 299 calories under budget for the week | ||||||
| Lost 2 pounds this week | ||||||
| Nutrient Summary | % Calories | |
| Fat | 205g | 25% |
| Saturated Fat | 87g | |
| Cholesterol | 619mg | |
| Sodium | 12,073mg | |
| Carbohydrates | 1,102g | 59.8% |
| Fiber | 181g | |
| Sugars | 352g | |
| Protein | 280g | 15.2% |
| Exercise Summary | Calories | |
| Situps | 5 Min | 11 |
| Elliptical 30 | 1 Hour | 500 |
| Total | 511 | |
Monday, February 21, 2011
112 [Week 10, Day 76] I Really Did It!!
It's kind of a bummer that I had to eat brunch with a friend. The brunch, not the friend part. I met S to discuss her wanting to rent my place. I had a veggie/cheese egg white omelet, coffee, and a piece of toast. I didn't touch the 2nd piece of toast and I ate a couple bites of the potatoes and took the rest home. She actually wants to rent my condo!!! I am so freaking happy. Her credit is bad and she is finally leaving her husband after years of supporting him and taking his crap. It's foreclosure stuff mostly that ruined it because of job loss and her dead beat husband not helping out. She needs a decent place that won't reject her because of her credit and I need a renter I can trust. It works out perfect. She was getting all freaked out about finding a place to stay and seeing some really crappy places. My place is tiny, not in the best neighborhood and has no amenities but it is updated and really cute. My renter moves out-well her eviction is up-on Feb 28 and she will be ready to rent by mid March. My management company better not give me any flack about renting to her. They screwed up with the first one so it's my say this time around. I know that come hell or high water she will pay her bills. She's worked three jobs to keep a roof over her head and I know she will never screw me over. I've known her for 10 years! Having the management company will be good just because it's a buffer. It feels less like mixing business with pleasure which is good for our friendship in general.
I was gonna make pizza for dinner. I'd already added it in and how much of it I could eat and still keep the cals in the 800's, but the thought of eating again was like no way. So then I just told hubby I'm not hungry and so I won't eat any. He was like, "Awwww...." But he didn't hassle me. If I 'aint hungry I 'aint. Two full meals a day!! Depending on what it is I can but never with pizza. I was just gonna eat some tomorrow but hubby says we can wait another day! YES!! He had a big lunch and he'll scrounge up something else to eat when he gets hungry. I had a BM when I got home from brunch and my cals will be low. Yeah! I have Fri, Sat, Sun outings that might pose a challenge but I am determined to make good decisions.
Well, I didn't really believe I was at my goal weight yesterday because of the screwy scale situation but when I saw it on the other scale I knew it to be true. I weighed the same 111.8 on the new main scale and I marched right over to the other one and was rewarded with a 112. I really did it! I think because I switched half way through this process I just didn't feel right until I saw it on the original scale that I started on. Maybe now I can leave the other one alone. Well, realistically, I am not sure that I'll be able to but ideally it won't screw with my head so much!!
HW: 150, bmi 23.5 [1995]
LW: 110, bmi 17.2 [2004]
Time line:
120 (18.8) - 12/13/10
120 (18.8) - 12/13/10
119 (18.6) [X] 12/14/10
118 (18.5) [X] 12/22/10
117 (18.3) [X] 01/11/11
116 (18.2) [X] 01/11/11
115 (18.0) [X] 01/12/11
114 (17.9) [X] 01/26/11 GW1
118 (18.5) [X] 12/22/10
117 (18.3) [X] 01/11/11
116 (18.2) [X] 01/11/11
115 (18.0) [X] 01/12/11
114 (17.9) [X] 01/26/11 GW1
113 (17.7) [X] 02/04/11
112 (17.5) [X] 02/20/11 GW2
Height: 5'7"
Measurements:
12/13/10, 120 lbs
Bust= 33.0"
Waist= 25"
Hips=35"
1/27/11, 114 lbs
Bust= 32.5"
Waist= 24.5"
Hips= 33.5"
2/21/11, 112 lbs
2/21/11, 112 lbs
Bust=32.5"
Waist=24.5"
Hips=33.0"That's really what it's all about. Moderation and good decisions. And, the fact that I am exercising even if only 2 days per week, and having regular BM's helps a lot. I got with it when I hit 120 and freaked out about 3 months ago. When I finally made it to 114 I felt so anxious that I decided to go for 112 as a buffer, even though I felt comfortable at 114-116. Hitting 114 sent me into a whirlwind of anxiety. I was so afraid of gaining and didn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't trying to make the numbers go down. Now, do I go for 110? A resounding no! That is my lowest weight ever so I can't say that it isn't tempting. I'm not going to sit here and say that if I dipped to 110 I would not be thrilled but I'm not going to make it my goal. I can't. That would be greedy. I got greedy before and I ended up killing my metabolism and gaining weight. I was exhausted and worn out. I can't push this too far. My body is working for me right now and I don't want to turn it against me. I hit 112. This is where people find me to be super skinny so it needs to be good enough. I have a nice buffer so that if I start to see the numbers go up I can do some damage control and get it back down. That's what maintenance is all about right? Having that range. Knowing you will fluctuate some and just making diet and exercise adjustments accordingly to keep it in check. That is what I'm hoping for right now. 8 lbs in 10 weeks. Very slow but now that I am finally here it has made a huge difference in the way I feel about my body.
------------------
Questions:
Shebeelu- So you have two days that you sweat it out at the gym, do you do other moderate exercise the other days? at home?
My goal for exercise at home or gym is two times per week. That's it. If I do more great-I did last week-but 2X per week is what I have been committing myself to. I don't know how people do it 6 even 5 days per week. Twice is manageable for me and something I can continue so that's pretty much what I stuck to even though I knew I could probably lose weight faster with more.
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