Wardrobe Melt Down

I had a bit of a meltdown on Saturday.  We had plans to go to the zoo.  The weather was a perfect 75 degrees.  Not too hot but maybe just a tad chilly.  Not warm enough that I wanted to wear shorts but too warm for jeans.  I didn't want to wear a skirt or a dress for the zoo.  It was the kind of day that cropped pants would have been perfect for except one problem.  Most of the ones I have are too tight.  Ugh!!!  I felt horrible.  I tried on a pair of green denim ones that I love and they fit (even if snugly) which made me feel huge.  The cropped chinos from Old Navy don't have that lose casual fit that I like which makes me feel huge.  Just for the hell of it I tried on my Joe's Jeans boot cut jeans and I could barely zip them up which made me feel huge.  I have a few colored skinny jeans that fit well since I bought them towards the tail end when I was already gaining but wearing them makes me feel huge.  I have one pair of denim crops that fit me tighter then they used to (which makes me feel huge). Other then that I have no blue denim jeans that fit.  Most of the crops and all of my denim jeans including all of my designer jeans are tight.   I ended up wearing a casual dress with leggings underneath to the zoo. 

This tells me that at some point I am going to need to buy some new pants.  Unless it's skirts or leggings I feel huge and I can't always wear skirts and stretchy leggings.  I've been holding off but it made me feel awful needing to wear certain clothes and not having any that fit.  We have a trip to NYC coming up in September and we are going to a NFL game.  I'm not going to wear a skirt.  I miss having blue jeans to throw on.  I need some that fit.  I probably won't be buying anything designer.  That ship sailed when I blew up.  How sad.  Trying on jeans is just really awful in this body (my body!!) so I'm not looking forward to it at all.

Having mom in law, cousin in law and two kiddo's in the house was really stressing me out at first but I'm doing better with it now.  His cousin is really, really nice and I have a lot more in common with her then I initially thought when I met her the first time.  His mom is such a talker.  My mom and I could barely get two words in on Mother's day when the three of us were chatting together because she makes everything about her.  If we said anything about us the conversation sort of dwindled out because she wouldn't say much until it was focused back on her.  She goes on and on about her wonderful son (my husband) whom she is obsessed with.  She likes to talk about people.  The funny thing is she complained about a friend of ours she met talking too much!! Now if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.  The talking is a little much at times but I really like her.  They are keeping watchful eyes on the kids making sure they wash hands and aren't getting into things and stuff like that.  There was some baby drooling milk on the couch which left a spot but I haven't seen another one since.  I had a moment at the zoo on Saturday where I felt totally annoyed because both kids were wailing at the same time and I knew we couldn't cover nearly as much ground with them in tow.  It passed.  They are annoying but they do have their sweet moments.  That's how kids are and at least I get to send them home!! Having guests means there is no time to vegetate.  There are always people around and you have to be engaged.  I do steal away to my room and close the door here and there but mostly I hang out with them because I do like them and I would never want to come off as rude in any way.  I do kind of miss my quiet nights with hubby but it's fun having them around and it's only temporary. 

My vag still didn't quite clear up after the antibiotics which is really depressing.  My husband is getting restless.  I'm sure I can hold him off until our guests leave but after that we both would like to get busy so I'm doing what I can.  I started in on 6 days of tea tree oil suppositories which really seemed to be making a big impact after night #2 but now I'm not so sure after night #3.  I've heard of cranberry juice and cranberry pills for BV (Kitty thanks for the tip).  It's on my list of possible vitamins to buy along with Garlic pills.  I'm already taking 4 different vitamins a day in addition to my probiotics.  I also got this gel from the UK.  $35 bucks!! I've easily spent over $150 bucks on my vagina in the last month.  

Kitty, my husband loves my body.  He is constantly telling me how hot I am.  He thinks my arms look stronger and my butt looks like it's actually there rather then non existent.  Every time I take my clothes off he's telling me how hot I am.  I WISH I loved it half as much as he did.