I'm fat. I hate my body because I'm fat. Boyfriend jeans are supposed to be lose. Mine are no longer loose. I am wearing actual pants not leggings today which makes me feel 10X more awful about my body. In leggings I don't have to feel the stiff fabric pressed against my legs and skirts hide my big butt and thighs.
I feel like a hippo. Or a pig. Whatever is the grossest. That's how I feel. I eat clean, I drink water and I used to exercise like a maniac. Nothing changes. I feel like I'm ready to do some yoga this weekend but I'm going to try not to get hooked on exercise like I was before thinking it would save me from my fat body. It won't. Nothing will.
I cannot stand the fat bulging out of the elastic of my underwear. I want to cry when I look in the mirror. I've tried to love my body but I can't. I've tried to lose weight but I can't. Eat, don't eat, exercise, don't exercise. It doesn't matter what I do. I've lost hope. I'm tired of fighting the fat. Body you win. I give up.
I'm sorry you're feeling so awful in your own skin. Maybe keep wearing leggings for a while if that's how you feel more comfortable. I know I go through phases of whether I feel more comfortable in leggings, track pants, skirts, and other times I can't stand to wear them.
ReplyDeleteExercise could help you feel a bit more confident, weight aside. The problem with exercise, for me anyway, is that it's so easy to get hooked on but it's never worth the effort on the scales.
You saw a dietician a while back, pre-op, didn't you? Maybe it'd be worth seeing if she has any ideas of how to go about weight loss at this point.
Take care lovely. I hope you feel better soon. You deserve to feel happy in your body, and I hope one day you can get there <3 xxxx
So sorry you're feeling down. :(
ReplyDeleteOh honey.. I am so sorry you are feeling so down .. And I really hope you are feeling better by now.. What is the plan of action now? I know you always plan, and follow through...
ReplyDeleteDon't give up.. You will figure it out
I know you don't realize it, but you're still thin :( Millions of women wish they were your height/weight.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're feeling this way, but I can relate.
ReplyDelete~MLM
I can relate so much
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that the one thing we crave we never get to enjoy because we never believe that we are thin enough?
I just hope that one day we all just won't care whatever size we are
Wishful thinking eh?
Take care x