8 Weeks

Last week was 8 weeks and the first week of consistently not having any pain or swelly belly.  The incisions are still tender if I bump them.  Today I'm wearing a dress with a skinny belt around it and it feels uncomfortable.  I'm guessing it's just any kind of pressure like non leggings and pants with zippers or belts that is just going to do that for a little while longer.  Other then that I seem to be right on schedule with the recovery time of 6-8 weeks.

I've been cleared for exercise but I have to admit I am dreading it.  Life without working out has been really nice.  I've enjoyed not having to fit in workouts on weekend mornings or after work.  Working out is kind of a pain in the butt.  Since I'm not hell bent on extreme weight loss anymore maybe that will just mean I don't do it as often.  Bottom line though; I need to do it.  If there were no health benefits to regular exercise I probably wouldn't but it's part of a healthy lifestyle so I'm going to force myself to get back to it.  Eventually.

Last week I made chicken breast and ate that for dinner Sunday through Tuesday.  Wednesday and Thursday it was Subway and then Friday it was Beef Tacos.  On Saturday I just ate cheese, crackers and light salami; kind of a snack dinner.  I made chicken breast again on Sunday and I'll be eating that again with veggies until it runs out.

It's weird this whole eating even though my husband is not here to see me eating thing.  In times past it would be my free for all to skip dinner and restrict as much as possible.  How times have changed.

I spent all day Sunday watching TV; mostly Scandal.  I felt so incredibly lazy.  I literally just sat there on the couch watching episode after episode.  I feel as though I could be so much more productive in life if I chose to but I really didn't want to do anything else.  I wanted to sit on my butt on watch TV.  I did get some writing done in the morning though.  I am determined to finish my novel once and for all this year.  It's taken me long enough and I'm almost there.

I finally told my mom about crashing my metabolism, getting it tested and trying to eat more food.  I didn't plan on it but she asked me if I felt I gained weight because I hadn't been exercising so I told her that I had but that it wasn't because of the surgery or lack of exercise.  I didn't tell her how much and I didn't mention that I couldn't fit into some of my clothes.  We had a good talk about it and she is glad to hear that I'm not trying to starve myself all the time anymore.  She was worried about me going into surgery on a starvation diet and I told her that was part of why I knew I needed to do better.  Medically, I looked fine but what if my heart was slightly weakened just enough to cause a problem while I was under anesthesia? It was really freaking me out on top of the other worries I had about surgery.  The timing of my metabolism crash and uncontrollable weight gain was probably meant to be.  It all happened leading up to January and I took steps to fix it and that helped ensure that I was healthy going into surgery.

My Birthday is tomorrow and it's going to be just another day.  I had a really crappy birthday in 2009 so ever since then I've asked for it off.  I'm not going to this year though because I don't see any point wasting vacation time when I don't have any plans, hubby is gone and we get Friday off.  I might ask to get off an hour or two early just for the hell of it.  I'm going out with friends on Friday for dinner.  Normally I don't do anything outside of familybut with hubby gone I felt like I should do something so that it would feel like my Birthday in some way.  Saturday I'm going to go to see my parents.  My mom is having foot surgery Friday so we'll just be hanging out

I am feeling so burnt out.  Thank goodness it's a short week.