Battle of the Bulge Nightmare

112's and 114's were a thing of the past.  This was my last time to see 115's.  My weight began to spiral out of control.

Weekly Summary for Week of Mon, Aug 20th, 2012

Daily Summary
	Budget	Food	Exercise	Net	+/-	Weight (lbs)
8/20/12	961	982	535	446	-514	118.2
8/21/12	953	1,015	580	435	-518	117
8/22/12	942	966	0	966	24	115.4
8/23/12	944	1,108	0	1,108	164	115.6
8/24/12	948	1,244	0	1,244	296	116.2
8/25/12	953	1,244	0	1,244	291	117
8/26/12	953	1,048	0	1,048	95	117
162 calories under budget for the week
Gained 0.4 pounds this week as measured from a starting weight of 116.6 on August 19th.

Nutrient Summary		% Calories
Fat	245g	28.1%
Saturated Fat	76g
Cholesterol	391mg
Sodium	13,202mg
Carbohydrates	1,159g	59%
Fiber	140g
Sugars	329g
Protein	253g	12.9%

Exercise Summary		Calories
Mix Technique: Ballet, Yoga, Cardio	1 Hour	330
Elliptical 580	1 Hour	580
Walking	30 Min	205
Total	1115

Right before Europe. I made a big push desperate to lose as much as I could but couldn't get any lower then 116's. 

Weekly Summary for Week of Mon, Sept 17th, 2012

Daily Summary
	Budget	Food	Exercise	Net	+/-	Weight (lbs)
9/17/12	949	789	620	169	-780	116.4
9/18/12	949	1,163	0	1,163	214	116.4
9/19/12	952	980	340	640	-311	116.8
9/20/12	949	923	0	923	-26	116.4
9/21/12	950	1,244	0	1,244	294	116.6
9/22/12	950	998	0	998	47	116.6
9/23/12	957	1,077	0	1,077	120	117.6
443 calories under budget for the week
Gained 1 pound this week as measured from a starting weight of 116.6 on September 16th.

Nutrient Summary		% Calories
Fat	281g	34.3%
Saturated Fat	86g
Cholesterol	433mg
Sodium	12,732mg
Carbohydrates	953g	51.6%
Fiber	107g
Sugars	286g
Protein	261g	14.1%

Exercise Summary		Calories
Elliptical 60/620	1 Hour	620
Mix Boot Camp	50 Min	340
Total	960

My post Europe weight was 122 in mid October and I start posting less and less in November.  I was just too disgusted with myself because it wasn't coming off like I'd hoped.  The holidays were not kind to me.  I was trying my best but lacked a lot of control.  The last full week in December 2012 I was feeling hopeless, desperate, incredibly huge and overwhelmed but still hopeful that I could at least get back to 118's.  It was not to be.  I could rarely manage to crack as low as the high 118's since Europe.  119-121 becomes the norm.  The 4 pounds of vacation weight in 15 days from 118-122 was "real" weight.  One day I even topped that and the scale read 122.6.  I was feeling totally hopeless but I can't stop trying.

Weekly Summary for Week of Mon, Dec 24th, 2012

Daily Summary
	Budget	Food	Exercise	Net	+/-	Weight (lbs)
12/24/12	971	844	345	499	-472	119.8
12/25/12	974	1,168	0	1,168	194	120.2
12/26/12	978	1,149	630	519	-459	120.8
12/27/12	974	957	0	957	-17	120.2
12/28/12	978	925	0	925	-52	120.8
12/29/12	971	892	0	892	-79	119.8
12/30/12	977	1,088	0	1,088	111	120.6
773 calories under budget for the week
Gained 0.2 pounds this week as measured from a starting weight of 120.4 on December 23rd.

Nutrient Summary		% Calories
Fat	365g	41%
Saturated Fat	105g
Cholesterol	896mg
Sodium	11,724mg
Carbohydrates	907g	45.3%
Fiber	96g
Sugars	335g
Protein	275g	13.7%

Exercise Summary		Calories
Elliptical 60/630	1 Hour	630
Video: Element Ballet Conditioning	50 Min	345
Total	975

I recommited in January 2013.  I MUST do this.  I cannot go any longer in this skin feeling fat.  My clothes fit tighter.  I feel like a total failure at losing weight.  I stopped weighing at the gym a long time ago because the number was so awful but when I finally did I had to move the big starting marker from 110 to 120.  The last week in January was the first week I had any hope whatsoever of the number going down again in a long time.  I saw 118's for most of the week.  The next week I went up 2 lbs literally overnight from water retention.  It really messes with my head when I see the numbers shoot up like that so I just tried to tell myself that it's water and not to give up.  Water retention is still and issue I've been regular with BM's since December which for me is every other day.

Weekly Summary for Week of Mon, Jan 28th

Daily Summary
	Budget	Food	Exercise	Net	+/-	Weight (lbs)
1/28/13	970	918	270	648	-322	119.6
1/29/13	959	1,039	0	1,039	79	118
1/30/13	966	1,163	210	953	-13	119
1/31/13	959	1,117	0	1,117	158	118
2/1/13	963	1,121	0	1,121	158	118.6
2/2/13	962	954	0	954	-8	118.4
2/3/13	966	1,370	0	1,370	404	119
456 calories over budget for the week
Lost 0.4 pounds this week as measured from a starting weight of 119.4 on January 27th.

Nutrient Summary		% Calories
Fat	298g	33.9%
Saturated Fat	95g
Cholesterol	787mg
Sodium	11,778mg
Carbohydrates	1,013g	51.3%
Fiber	129g
Sugars	363g
Protein	291g	14.8%

Exercise Summary		Calories
Elliptical 270	30 Min	270
Pilates Reformer 50/210	50 Min	210
Total	480

It's now mid February.  I haven't given up and I'm still fighting.