Caffeine

The good news is that I've been upgraded to Premier status on Lose It for life at no charge.  I'm not sure why but they sent me an email.  They finally did that update where you can track your calories ahead of time instead of just day by day.  They should have done this a long time ago since the other apps allow you to do this and I don't think it should be a Premium feature since meal planning is an essential part of weight loss.  The bad news is that my ridiculous dedication to tracking calories has not helped me lose weight this time around.

I did pretty well last Saturday at dinner out.  We went to a fancy seafood restaurant with entrees on the menu ranging from $24 to $99 bucks but I ordered a $10 blue cheese wedge salad.  What can I say?  Cheap date.  And I tell you it was so awkward ordering a side salad for a meal.  I felt so embarrassed and I don't even know why.  I tell the waiter what I want and then he asks what I want for entree and I tell him that's it and it just feels very very strange.  There are so many times I have wanted to do it before but always feel pressured from who I don't know to order a "real" meal.  Anyhow, I'm glad I did that.  There was bread at the table and I was so over food that I didn't want the chicken or the steak.  Not that it did me any favors on the scale the next day.

I have a serious water retention problem that lasted most of my Christmas break.  Normally I have a #2 problem but oddly enough I was fairly regular going every other day.  I just couldn't pee and it didn't seem to matter how much water I drank either.  Drink 24 oz.  No pee.  Drink 24 more ounces and then I get a small trickle.  Drink about 12 oz more.  Get another small stream.  What gives?  Liquids push liquids or so I'm told but my body wasn't hearing it.  Tuesday was my first day back at work.  I dropped 2.8 lbs overnight and I'm certain it was all water weight.  I finally peed a significant amount Wednesday.  Mind you it's just a drop from how ridiculously high it had finally gotten on Wednesday but boy was I ever glad just to finally have a decent release.  The only thing I can see that's different is coffee.  Not that I NEVER retain water after drinking my morning coffee at work but I'd say the majority of the times that I have issues are on days that I don't.  I didn't drink coffee at all over break and I think that's why I was retaining.  I googled it and found that caffeine can have a diuretic effect.  So what? Now I have to drink coffee just so I can pee like a normal person?  The caffeine does nothing for me at all.  It doesn't perk me up so I'd rather just get decaf most of the time because I hear that caffeine has a negative effect on calcium absorption in people who don't get enough calcium; which probably includes me.  It sucks to feel like I have to depend on caffeine just to urinate.  Whatever.  My bodily functions are so screwed.  My body hates me and I hate it right back.

Tomorrow is what I'll call the post holiday party for hubby's job.  That means dinner, drinking and self sabotage.  I am so heavy right now.  I cannot believe how bad things have gotten.  I dread that tomorrow could very will make what's already bad even worse.