I am so annoyed and upset right now. On Sunday me being the screw up that I am mixed up the dates my sister was supposed to be at my Mom's It's not for another two weeks but I showed up on Sunday and no one was there. To my credit not once did we ever use dates because when we were discussing it neither one of us had a calendar and I never called either one before I made the drive up. My sister suggested since I was there that we just go ahead and meet at a half way point between my mom's house and her house for lunch. She lives two hours away so we would each just have an hour to drive and that way I'd at least get to see her. I drove. Today I get a text from my mom while I'm at work asking if I can talk so I text back yes. She calls me and tells me that she was talking to my dad about the way I drive and he felt that she should speak up. She thinks that I follow too closely and a couple of times she was nervous about if I would stop in time. She is only telling me because she wants me to be safe. What the hell!!! I've been driving since I was 16 and I haven't killed anyone yet. No time during that drive to I even remember there being a close call. I'm the one with my foot on the break and I wasn't worried about not stopping in time. I didn't say too much. I couldn't. I didn't say I agreed with her that's for sure because I don't. I just said if it was worrying her so much I'm glad that she said something but I wouldn't be driving that way if I felt there was a problem nor do I feel there is a problem. Nobody likes to be told they can't drive. And my dad is the worst of them yet. His eyes are bad and he's all erratic all over the road so who is he to talk about me? If he says a single word to me next time I see him I'm going to be pissed and just say I don't want to talk about it. I don't need driving lessons from him. Am I really that bad that my mom thinks that any given day could be the day that I get into my car after work and end up in an accident? This was so urgent that she couldn't even wait until the weekend to tell me this. And who's driving is perfect anyways?
The thing about it is that just yesterday I was feeling like an idiot because for some unknown reason instead of pulling out of the gas station driveway like a normal person I actually pulled out from the curb. My car made loud noises as first the front bumper and then the back banged down the curb and onto the street. The person behind me probably thought I was crazy. Why? I have no idea. I didn't see the driveway? I thought I was at the driveway? I don't freaking know. After that happened I was feeling pretty annoyed with myself for being a crappy driver. I can't parallel park. I can't back into parking spaces. I have to do 3 point turns to back out of certain parking spaces because I'm always afraid I'm to close and half the time I have plenty of room. I've always felt that I kind of am a nervous driver. I'm that typical Woman driver that people complain about. I get confused about which lane I'm supposed to be in. I'm not aggressive and I have no sense of direction so that doesn't help. I've made my share of driving mistakes. I never got a ticket until my late 20's and then for some reason got one every year for three years but it's been a while since my last one. I also got one red light camera ticket. I rear ended a lady last year in traffic and I did actually hit a biker in 2009 (he came out of nowhere) so I know my track record isn't the best but still. I watch the speed limit. If anything I tend to be overly cautious. It just sucks that she said that to me. I know that I'm not the greatest driver. Maybe I'm even one of the worst. I know that there is always room for improvement so that's why I can't get too mad. It just sucks to have your mother specifically call to inform you of your terrible driving skills as a 30 something adult.
I will NEVER drive with her or my Dad in the car again. At least not for a long time. I can't stand it when I feel that a passenger is scrutinizing my driving or being a back seat driver. It just makes me more nervous and it's too stressful. If they don't like my driving then fine; they don't ever have to be my passenger. I'm not going to tell her that I don't want to drive with her or dad in the car but if it comes up I'm just going to say I don't feel comfortable driving. I'm not going to get mad at her because I know she was doing it out of love. That's how people get into all kinds of unnecessary ridiculous family drama in the first place. They let their emotions get the best of them and then hold grudges and/or say mean things. We don't do that in my family and I'm not going to start now. I'm an adult; I can deal with it like one but it just sucks and I feel really awful inside about it. I'm NOT going to tell my husband. I don't want to call attention to this. I already feel like an idiot driving with him half the time and it's just too embarrassing. I feel like I want to cry over this right now and I'm not even sure why. I just feel stupid and incompetent. I already have issues with lack of confidence in myself so this doesn't help.
I just needed to vent.
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