I am so ridiculous. Last night I literally scared my husband half to death (which normally I never can do even when I try) and then pulled him onto the bed. What was that all about? Believe it or not that was me initiating sex! I'm terrible at it. I don't know why. Fear of rejection? Something. Anyways, we didn't have sex while he was away for 6 weeks, then none on our 2 week vacation or in our 1 week since we've been back. It had been a while so I was finally ready to take matters into my own hands and I'm glad that I did it. My sex drive is lower and I suck at initiating and I'm sure he likes to feel desirable so for once it was me not him breaking our no sex streak.
I finally managed to lose a pound. Big whoop. It took me 14 days to gain 4 so I figure it will take me at least a month to lose it and then I'll still be above where I want to be because I have been for over a year now I think. It's not much but it's something. I've even learned to be grateful for maintenance these days after so many disappointing gains. I'm so damn hungry!! Uggh. Some days I take delight in hunger and other days like today-it just hurts. I've had 1/2 cup of dry fiber one cereal, 2 mini chocolates and coffee so far. Lunch will be baby carrots, fiber one bar and probably a yogurt because I'm so hungry. Hubby is back on a healthy eating bandwagon so I think he's making Chicken. Last Friday I had a bit of a victory over Pizza. This is very rare my friends. I closed my eyes and sniffed the aroma. I tried to taste it through it's smell AND process the concept of resisting it and not eating it. I held out for a while just to have that feeling of being starving and wanting it but not eating it. Then I ate probably 1/4 of a slice as it was just a tiny, tiny sliver. That I was able to just have that and no more is huge because Pizza is my all time favorite food.
I am sooo tired today. Last week was my first week back and I was still riding the high of vacation along with dealing with a crap load of work to catch up on. This week not so much. I went to bed at 11pm which was probably too late and there is work to do and I'm doing it but I am dragging myself through it as it's not rush rush on it yet. I've signed up for Reformer Pilates after work too. It's too late to cancel, which I guess is a good thing because I'm so tempted. If I don't go now I'll lose the class. I just gotta make it through the day and then the class is at 5:30pm right after work.
Anonymous-no worries about the highjacking of comments and I do want to respond. I'm just not entirely clear on your question. It sounds like maintaining is hard for you so that you would rather continuously be on the gain/lose cycle but only within two pounds and you want some input. Is that right?
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