My doctor's appointment went well last week. I was expecting resistance because I'm still in my child bearing years but the doctor says if I want a hysterectomy I can have it. She actually said I could start the Lupron right away. It's this injection that would help shrink the Fibroids so they can operate through small incisions and remove everything via my vagina. My ovaries would stay behind so that I won't go into menopause and I'll no longer have to use birth control at all. I'm very excited that it is an option for me and I don't want kids but I still need to think about it. It's not something I can decide that quickly. Hubby's reaction was unexpected. I came home all excited and he didn't say much. I assume he's okay with it of course because we don't want kids but I need to hear it from him so I say, "okay, I just need to hear you tell me that this is okay with you." He says he can't say that. Give him a minute. He needs time to process it. There is no way I'd be taking a new medication before my big vacation anyways. It's supposed to dry up my estrogen, take away my period, and throw me into "false" menopause. We'd also have to use condoms because I can't take birth control while I'm on it. It's very final once it's done. We say we don't want kids but if I do that we CAN'T. Realistically, I'd probably have a hard time getting and staying pregnant because of the fibroids but without a uterus we couldn't even try. This is something that I will think about and consider for next year. I have to plan for recovery time and everything. It's inevitable that this will need to happen it's just a matter of when and meanwhile they are probably just going to get bigger. I can't help but wonder how much these fibroids + uterus weighs. How much might the scale might go down once they take the suckers out. Even in the face of major surgery I'm thinking about what it might do to my weight. It's really weird because I always weigh less at the doctor. This time it was a digital one. I immediately went home and weighed myself and it was 2 lbs heavier then at the doctor in the same clothes. I also normally weigh a little less at the gym which is a balance scale. I think my scales are really mean.
Tuesday morning I woke up 2 lbs lighter, then 2 more lbs lighter on Wednesday morning and I maintained that today. Very strange turn of events. I haven't weighed in at the gym because I've been so down and out about my weight but I had the guts to do it on Tuesday. I'm not even getting excited about it in the slightest though because I'm sure it's a fluke. I worked out hard cardio Monday and Tuesday. I sweated a lot. Today I feel that I'm going to retain and gain because I haven't peed as much as I think I should have given all the water I've had. Under no conditions have I ever lost 4 lbs of weight in 2 days fake or real so I can't expect to stay at 114.5. It seems like every time I've had a dip I get my hopes up only to have them come crashing down so I won't do that to myself. I did buy pretzels yesterday but I did very good with controlling the portion I ate with my PBJ. I don't know why I love pretzels so much!! I also love PBJ's. I've had one every day for dinner so far this week!!
I finally got a project at work. I asked for it because I felt so bad about doing nothing. It's very boring and will take forever but it's keeping me busy. I can work at my own pace and it makes me feel like less of a bad employee so it's a good thing. My Europe research has been winding down. Thank god because it was like I just couldn't stop and it was getting exhausting. But my tireless diligence has paid off. I found some good prices on our train tickets if we book directly through each Train's website so I'm happy about that. I found out what passes we would need to get to travel around Paris. And, I found us a cheap flight from Barcelona to Paris which will save us a good three hours on travel time and will actually be less expensive then the train. Just a few things to nail down and we'll be all set.
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