Hydrated

You girls told me over and over again to drink water and I just wouldn't listen but I've been sticking with it consistently for about 3 weeks now and I'm finally getting used to it.  I sweat a whole lot more at the gym now that I'm actually hydrated.  I did heavy cardio the last two days.  I was worried because I felt I hadn't peed enough even though I drank water but I think I actually sweated it out instead.  I've been staying with 24 oz minimum and I think now that my body is regularly hydrated that it's been sufficient.  Eventually, I should probably try to go for more on a regular basis but for now this is a good start.  I also think that my body is holding onto everything less because I'm hydrated.  That's what I'm hoping for anyways.  I've been too scared to weigh myself at night.  I literally hold my breath when I step on the scale and am afraid to look down.  I'm just so used to bad news but this week the scale has been kind. At least for now.

Food wise I've been doing good.  I've stayed in the 800's since Saturday. I've dreaded dining out so much in the past because A-I knew I'd have no willpower, overdo it, gain and regret it later, B-I'd do really well and not overdo it and still gain because I ate more then the usual bare minimum and my body was holding onto every last bit or C-just hate it that I'd have to go out to eat and not order what I really want.  Last Friday we went to a comedy club.  Instead of dreading it I just decided I would get something healthy and not pig out.  I ordered pita and hummus and had one glass of wine.  I was satisfied, did not overdo it and did not gain.  It was so nice for a change.  I'm determined to do better dining out because that's often what screws me up.  We made Pizza on Saturday and I just had a reasonable portion.  I've been eating a cinnamon roll every day since Sunday!  Hubby made them from scratch and they are delicious so every day I've been leaving enough room in my calorie budget so that I can eat it.  Hubby has not said anything about me eating my mostly pretzels with one tablespoon each of raisins and peanuts trail mix for dinner for the last three nights which is awesome.  I'm wondering if I can push it and get by with that for tonight without him saying anything.  He won't be home tomorrow.  I  am worried about the fair on Saturday.  I get the french bread pizza every single year.  I'll probably get that and a soft serve ice cream which will be it for the day and I'm worried about it making me gain.  I only get this once a year and I really, really want it but I don't want to mess things up.  Sunday morning we're supposed to go to breakfast for my Father's Day.  I'll probably just order egg whites or something.  I'm also really worried about Vegas next weekend.  I actually had hit 119 just two weeks ago and I'm so scared of going back up. 

At the gym last night a lady just randomly says to me "Wow, you look good, what do you do?"  I told her I do the elliptical and she was like, "Well what else, do you do sports?  And you must eat right?"  I told her no sports but I used to be a gymnast.  That was a long time ago but somehow people still kind of think that I do some kind of sport.  Anyhow, on the one hand it did make me feel good to receive a compliment from a total stranger and on the other hand I look in the mirror and I don't see a skinny girl anymore.  This time last year at a similar weight I did feel skinny but not anymore.  And I know, realistically I don't look any different.  It's such a mind thing.

It's been so much fun just doing the research for our Europe trip.  It's looking like we will do a European Cruise to Spain, Italy and France.  That would be eight days.  Then, I want to spend two nights in Paris and two nights in Amsterdam.  We still have to decide what we're going to do.  I told my job and my supervisor seems okay with it. I'm just now starting to let myself get excited about it. It just never seemed like something I would ever be able to do and it looks like it might really be happening.