Still Hatin'

Did anyone catch the Miss USA pageant?  My goodness are those girls amazing.  Their evening gowns were so gorgeous and sexy.  There was only one girl who didn't look as great in a bikini as the others.  They are tall, skinny, beautiful AND well educated.  Can you imagine making it to such a huge prestigious pageant like that?  What an accomplishment.  A lot of them will go onto very successful careers and lives.  As I watched it I thought about how proud their parents must be.  It also made me think about how far from that I am.  Of course.  Because that's what I do.  And while I'm on the subject of people that I'm jealous of there is this blogger that I read who spends her days taking cooking classes, working out and picking the kids up from school.  Her life is one long vacation.  They are always traveling and doing something totally awesome like going to Vegas to watch a big fight or being invited to the VIP section at an NFL party.  She has to be wealthy based on everything she does and all the expensive restaurants they go to.  Her next big adventure?  The whole family is going to London for the 2012 Olympics.  All four of them.  Airfare alone for that vacation will probably be 5K and then if they manage to score gymnastics tickets that could easily be thousands more.  I have always dreamed of being able to go watch Gymnastics at the Olympics but chances are I'll never get to.  She is so lucky!  I was green with envy when I read that she was getting to go.  Of course she's going to the Olympics.  She's rich and her life is awesome.  Shoulda known.  I'm still hoping to go to Europe this year so I am very grateful for that chance.  I sent off the $110 and paperwork for my passport renewal last week. I've had one for 10 years and never needed it but I'm hoping this time around I will.  I actually even like my picture.

I qualified for my education incentive salary increase.  It'll go into effect on July 1st and I'll be getting $190 per month more-before taxes so I'll probably actually see about $150 or so.  It's not much but I'll take it.  From here on out I'll be only getting a $50 per month raise every year for the next five years at which time I will max out on the pay scale and not get any more raises at all.  I'm depressed just thinking about it. What I make is what I make and it's not getting much higher.  I've just got to continue to save money, keep out of debt and be financially responsible.  If, or should I say some day when, I have to buy another car I'll be putting down a huge down payment so I can afford the payment and other then that I don't intend to take on any more expenses.  The foreclosure has been updated on my credit report.  Before the foreclosure my FICO score was 775 and now it's 748.  I didn't take nearly the hit that I was expecting to.  Thank god that mess is over.  I'm told we should have nothing to worry about come tax time but I'm waiting for that time to come until I officially put it behind me. 

Thank you all for your kind comments on my pictures.  I wish I could see something I liked when I look at them but it's so hard feeling the way that I do right now.  I still hate my body more then ever for not cooperating and I'm still feeling fat.  I just can't help it.  I put on a pair of jeans that are usually a bit lose and worried that they might feel tighter now.  I'm paranoid.  I'm also super tired today.  It's not a must go gym day for me but I'm trying to force myself to go anyways for a 30 minute cardio session.  On the one hand, I'm not convinced that it'll help much but on the other hand I just feel a need to DO something.  I'm going crazy.  Jade, the ballet video that I do is called Element Ballet Conditioning.  I love the basic bar work, nice background setting and relaxing music.  I hate videos that are obviously cheaply done with bad lighting and bad backgrounds.  I'll actually not get a video if I hate the background or don't like the models in it.  I need it to at least be aesthetically pleasing if I'm going to get up, put the video in and work out.  I have come very close to getting the NYC Ballet work out many times but I over researched it and read so many reviews that I wasn't sure if I would like it or not.  I had my first Pilates Reformer class yesterday.  The machines take some getting used to.  I like it but I didn't feel like I got that much of a work out.  I'm going to try level 2 next time.

I'm sooo hungry right now that my stomach is starting to hurt.  I've been staying in the 800's-900's.   I wonder what came first...the fatigue or the hunger? Almost quitting time.  For anyone that is interested women's gymnastics will be on TV Channel NBC Sunday afternoon.  I can't wait.