X Mas Thin Challenge Day 7: 114.5

Last week I did pretty good with my intake.  I kept it mostly to 800's each day and I got myself to the gym 3 times.  I've been trying to get in 100 crunches every day like I used to so I can keep my abs tight.  We had some Thanksgiving left overs to eat so for me that was greens, macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes since I don't eat stuffing, sweet potatoes or cranberry sauce.  Hubby made turkey salad out of what was left of the Turkey and ate most of it.  I had Mom's homemade mac and cheese all to myself 'cause hubby doesn't like it.  No way was I letting it go to waste.  It's so delicious and cheesy;  I love it.  I felt like a "normal" person at  lunch time on Tuesday and Wednesday because I brought greens for lunch.  Finally, I had something to heat up in the microwave like everyone else.  I ate one serving a day of mac and cheese for dinner until it was gone then I started in on the mashed potatoes.  Just a cup for dinner each day.

I'd been stuck at 115 for a few days so I knew that the only way for me to loose was if I went to bed weighing the same thing I did when I woke up.  Yesterday morning hubby made me an egg beater omelet with left over meat and veggies.  I went up to 115.5 and it wouldn't go down so that meant no dinner.  Which worked out because hubby went out and I was able to tell him I had mashed potatoes while he was gone.  Instead of an actual dinner I just ate some light snacks that I knew wouldn't make me heavier on the scale.  Tonight I'm going to the gym after work and then there will be a cup of mashed potatoes for dinner.  Tomorrow I have class until late so no real dinner and then Wednesday I'll go to the gym after work.  Hubby will be out during dinner time so that means I won't have to eat.  Hopefully, by Thursday I'll be in a good position to make my goal by Saturday.  I haven't been too great with the water; it's hard enough when I'm trying to maintain let alone lose.  I'm 114.5 today.  I'm hoping it sticks.  That's a total of 2 lbs down and 2.5 lbs to go.  In 5 days.  Oh boy!!

Thanks so much for all of your wonderful comments on my jealousy post.  You ladies totally "get" me.  You didn't make me feel petty or ugly for having these feelings.  Thinspodiary made a great point.  I struggle with jealousy, and in a way, I think it's a part of our illness. It's that jealousy, desire, that pushes us to extremes...to be better than we are.  It's so true.  There is a drive within us that pushes us to try to control what we can and it centers around food and weight.  If nothing else let's at least try to be good at that.  I finally got around to watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion show over the weekend and yes, I felt jealous that I can't be them.  It's hard not to be.  I feel so inadequate in comparison to those gorgeous glamizons that everyone is in total and complete awe of.  They really are Angels.   I am told that I am pretty but even still, no matter how much make up I wear or how cute my hair looks I'll never look nearly as beautiful as any one of them.  I will never be 5'10" with that flawless body and I will never be a supermodel.  I don't let those thoughts and feelings destroy me like they used to and part of the reason is that for the most part I am generally happy and no longer depressed like I used to be.  I am happy with a lot of what I do have which has helped me make peace with a lot of my shortcomings and disappointments about what I have or have not accomplished.  The green eyed monster will still rear it's ugly head sometimes and then I just have to move past it.

In case you haven't heard there is a new ED reality TV show that started last Friday called  Starving Secrets with Tracy Gold on the Lifetime channel.  That link takes you to the site where you can watch that first episode.  I missed it and haven't got a chance to watch this one yet but I've got my DVR set for the rest of them.