115 and Feeling Fine

I've been on holiday vacation since Wednesday.  I picked my sister up from the airport on Tuesday night.  Wednesday we spent the day and the night at our older sister's house.  Thursday we spent the day at my parent's house.  I've been cognizant of my eating but definitely not hard core restricting.  Not really restricting at all actually.  I've been maintaining at around 115 lbs but I'm ok with it.  How can I NOT be happy right now.  I'm on vacation.  I've been sleeping in until 9:30am.  I don't have to go back to work until next year.  January 3rd.  I've been spending time with my family.  I'm not worried about being 115.  In fact, it's only 3 lbs above my desired weight so I've just sort of made up my mind not to worry so much about it until after the holidays.  This time last year things were bad.  I'd gotten up to 120 lbs so I did diet during the holidays because things had gotten so out of hand.  I had to, I was determined and I did it.  This time around...it's not so bad and I'm just going to stop freaking out at every holiday dinner and every time someone bakes something that I can't help eating.  It's just not a good time to deal with that right now.  I do good one day and go to the gym only to gain the pound back at the holiday dinner or feel like crap because I blew it by eating too many cookies.  The harder I try the worse it gets....and I just get frustrated with myself.  I just don't want to do that right now.

I'm not out of control.  I'm not telling myself that I'm already overweight so why not pig out.  I'm not going hog wild with the sugar; at least no more then I was before.  In fact, it's been so much better since my last day of work.  Tuesday was our holiday luncheon at work.  A full three course meal of salad, grilled chicken and mashed potatoes with a dinner roll and a trio of mini desserts.  I don't normally do lunch and it made me feel way more uncomfortably full then I like to be but I enjoyed it.  When I think about it; the portions were good.  It wasn't a whole lot of food but it still made me full.   That night I went to the gym and skipped dinner.  On Wednesday when my sisters and I went out to lunch I ordered a delicious Cobb Salad.  It felt so good to be eating some greens and veggies.  I'd been skipping out on real food in favor of sweets so often lately.  After cookies and brownies I wasn't even wanting any real food; there wasn't room for anything else.  For dinner the next day mom made burgers for dinner.  Both days I feel like I was constantly putting SOMETHING in my mouth all day so I'm actually feeling pretty lucky to still be 115.  I'll take it.  I've been keeping up with the gym and it actually feels good to eat and maintain even if it's higher then where I ultimately want to be.  I figure it's not half bad for the holiday season.  I'll fix it after the holidays are over.

Today I went to the gym in the morning, then went to the grocery store.  I came home started laundry and then sat down and watched TV.  Tonight hubby and I will be watching a movie.  I'm LOVING being off.  Christmas stuff is all done.  I don't go all crazy for Christmas like a bunch of people do.  I'm not trying to run around spending a ton of money and stressing myself out.  I keep it simple.

Yesterday hubby tells me "It was so great not having you here Wednesday night."  I don't really take it personally.  He's never once had a chance to spend the night alone here since we bought this house.  I too enjoy my space when he's gone.  I always want him to come back though and I think he he feels the same or else he wouldn't be married to me in the first place.  I'm pretty sure I know what I got for Christmas because I sent him a link to what I wanted.  Can't wait for Christmas.  I'm looking forward to spending more time with the family and relaxing.  And presents.  And yummy foods....but no binging.

Comments:
Sophie:  I haven't taken ballet in a while so you really didn't miss anything!  Last Thursday was my first class in years and it was a package given to me by hubby.  It's not really a Ballet studio; they do Yoga, Pilates, etc so I really want to find a ballet studio to take some classes at next year hopefully.  I miss it.

Ophelia:  I actually use Loseit.com for tracking my calories and those awesome reports.  I have a phone app and I can create custom foods and add food really easily.  They send me weekly reports of exercise and calories I log and I just cut and paste it all nice and neat into my blog.  Their food database is just OK but I love the cute little food pics.  There are others that are better but it's the one I started out with so I've stuck with it.  I've tracked EVERY SINGLE DAY for the last year.  Every now and then it gets old but I can't stop.