From Bad to Worse to Even Worse: 116.5

So, basically I'm fat now.  My weight has spiraled so out of control over the last week that my head is literally spinning.  It just went from bad to worse to even worse over the course of the week.  It really started last Saturday at my friends Birthday party but it continued on Tuesday night's dinner.  I didn't make it to the gym that morning and didn't have time after work because of dinner.  I went ahead and ordered soup and salad like I wanted to.  I figured when the bill came I'd just ask for a bill on my own and to hell with what anyone thought about it.  I mean, how can you really expect someone who ate $10 worth of food to pay $50?   Let's get real now.  But when the bill came hubby handed his card over to his friend and then there was really nothing I could do about it.  His dad ended up paying for his own and then I really don't know what all was charged.  I ate two potato skins and some bread in addition to my soup and salad and didn't drink any alcohol.  I gain 0.5.

I go to work and then the gym on Wednesday hoping they would be all done with dinner by the time I got home.  No such luck.  His dad wanted to take us out to dinner.  WTF??  I ordered a green salad and it came with dinner rolls.  I had two.  Cals for the day are low but I still gain 0.5.

I totally got away with not cooking a single thing for Thanksgiving.  Hubby did everything while I was at work on Wednesday and he didn't need my help on the day of.  I  basically just did dishes and cleaned up.  We hosted 'cause it was at our house but more technically he hosted 'cause he actually cooked.  My mom and sister brought some things too.  Thanksgiving day I waited until dinner to eat.  I don't think I overdid it until the  cake.  Hubby made two from scratch and they were delicious.  After that I was pretty full.  I had some wine too.  1.400 calories isn't terrible for Thanksgiving day but it's disaster when you are already overweight.  We did some Dance Central on the X Box Kinect after dessert but that didn't even make a dent.  Aside from getting fatter it was an awesome Thanksgiving with the family and we or should I say hubby did a great job on hosting our very first Thanksgiving. 

The next day I'm up another 1/2 pound.  No surprise there.  Off to the gym I go on Friday morning trying to dig myself out of this mess.  Eating on Friday is pretty good.  I went to my mom's where she basically did her own Thanksgiving meal.  I keep my calories below 1,000 on Friday and this time just for fun I'm up another whole pound.  It just won't stop.  

Saturday I'm back at the gym in the morning.  I'm at my highest weight in months!  Friday and Saturday I went to the gym while they were eating breakfast.  Saturday we went to the beach and walked around with his dad and did some errands.  They wanted to eat AGAIN! I didn't order anything where we went.  I just ate some bread.  His dad was still planning to make dinner.  It's times like that where I wonder how people can eat so many times per day.  I did good at dinner and cals for the day were pretty low.  

Today is the first day all week that I've maintained and not gained anything from one day to the next thank goodness but I'm 116.5 lbs!!  Disgusting.  I am so disgusted with myself it's ridiculous.  They are eating breakfast right now.  I smell bacon or sausage or something.  I won't be partaking.  I had left over deviled egg and my dry cereal.  I wonder if his dad wonders why I never eat breakfast, totally skip some meals and only order green salads.   For dinner we are having kabobs on the grill and we are not going anywhere so I should be OK.  I'm planning to go to the gym on Monday after work for some hard cardio.  I will have to force myself to go Tuesday and Wednesday morning because I have class Tuesday night and a hair appointment on Wednesday.  Those 3 days will be hell and so will the whole week because it's going to wear me out but I have to push through it.  The goal is to punish myself enough that I can make a serious dent in this poundage.  The eats will be super low because I'll be at work during the day and the gym or class or something else at night.  There are left overs for days so I don't have to worry about cooking or what hubby might want to cook.  I can just eat a little bit of left overs which aside from the mac and cheese are fairly healthy.  I'll be eating small portions of course and just really trying to stay away from too much sweets and candy.  I was doing so well but then my BM's have not been too regular for the past week either.  I have been drinking water but then have skipped out on it some days.  It's so hard to drink water when I'm eating a lot and/or gaining.

Who gains 2.5 lbs in a week? I'm super embarrassed of my numbers for the last two weeks but I'm going to post them anyway.  More motivation to do better.  My calendar is pretty clear of events and outings until my December 10th holiday party.  Starting today is my 15 day challenge to get back down to 112 lbs.  If I can't lose 4 lbs during this time period then there is really no hope for me.  Today is day 1.  GO!!!!

Comments:
Harlow B:  Have you ever wondered if age was a factor in the highs getting higher? I ask because everyone seems to say that your metabolism changes at the end of your 20s and it's something I think about.

I think part of the reason your metabolism changes as you get older is due to loss of muscle mass.  So, the way I see it if you continue to work out and maintain muscle mass that won't happen.  Obviously when I'm 50 and 60 years old I might not be able to do what I can do now so it's inevitable that the muscle mass will decrease but my hope is that I won't care by then.  In my 20's I had a heck of a time maintaining my weight in the teens.  I had to work harder then I do now and I think part of that is just because I was going about it the wrong way.  So, at this point in time I don't think it's age although at some point that might be the case.  This time I think it was just too many pig outs that culminate in the numbers getting higher.  I can slip up here and there but I just started doing it too much and this is what happens.

Does it Even Matter:  As for the dinner challenge.....ask for your own tab. At the end of the day you're the only paying your rent, not your/his friends. Anyone who is insulted (which they shouldn't be..) can shut up.

Thank you thank you for this!!  I smiled when I read this and that's pretty much exactly what I intended to do and wasn't even going to feel bad about it.  I was feeling like I was just being difficult but I realized I wasn't.  There is no reason for me to feel wrangled into over spending or over eating by a group of people.