Turns out I don't like the black boots I had ordered sight unseen from another Aldo store. I ended up buying another pair but when I got them home and tried them on with my leggings they were too big around the calf. This is a problem I have a lot with knee high boots. They look all floppy at the top and my legs are just sitting in the middle of it. I tried them on for hubby.
I don't think my legs are that skinny but for some reason I always have this problem with boots.
Baby, your legs are twigs. You are skinny. Look I can put my entire hand around your knee caps and have my fingers touch.
No, I'm not that skinny.
Look at your arms. I can see that you are skinny. He proceeds to poke me in the ribs.
I was hoping hubby had forgotten the statement he made back in April that I'd lost too much weight but apparently he has not.
You need to gain some weight back.
I roll over sigh and start talking about something else but he wouldn't drop it. I try to talk my way around it but to no avail. He's sticking to it this time and he says as much. He mentioned this before but nothings changed.
I told you I would not lose any more weight and I have not.
Your jeans don't even fit anymore.
What, you don't think I look good?
It's not that. It's just that you looked better with a little more weight on you.
Apparently he's going to feed me bacon and donuts every day until I gain some weight back. Until I fit back into my Seven jeans. He knows how upset I get when he tries to make me eat what or when I don't want to. It will only make things worse if he tries to force me. I feel bad because it's the same sort of thing that happened when I was married before. I lost weight, he didn't like it and it was a huge source of conflict. Why does my weight always have to become an issue? Our marriage was in shatters. It wasn't worth it to me to gain weight to save it but this time is different. I love him so much. He means everything to me. I can't let these food issues and my desire to be thin be a problem. He is just too important to me. He wants me to be the size I was on our wedding day and our honeymoon which is 118 lbs. I don't want to be 118 lbs. I can barely handle it when I'm 114 lbs right now. Sigh. I want to do what is healthy and what is best for our relationship but I also want to be the size I want to be.
OH MAN! That's tough.... Tell him: "You know how it just makes it worse if you try to force me? I was 118 on our wedding day. I'm 114 now. practically no difference right? Please don't make this an issue...?" then maybe he'll be chill. And you can still be 112 if it makes you feel better. He WON'T know the difference between 114 & 112. But you will and you'll feel better and you'll be healthy because You aren't being forced to eat so you won't be inclined to get below 112. right? right. :-)
ReplyDeleteWow that's a tough situation...I guess just maybe try to eat around him more? If he sees you eating maybe he'll lay off. 6 pounds difference is not the end of the world, and maybe tell him you don't weigh that much less and you're comfortable where you are.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the frustration. I'm curious as to why he's wants you to gain weight. In other words, is it merely an appearance issue ("you looked better with a little more weight on you")? Something tells me it's not. Maybe he's concerned for your health? Or that he fears the weight loss will go too far? ... If so, I can see why it's difficult for him to see you lose weight.
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side, I'm familiar with the need to stay at or below a certain number. I fear the loss of control and inflating to an unnatural weight. The same issue interfered with my last relationship... Unfortunately I don't have any words of advise. I wish I did.
Although, I'm pretty certain that his concern over your weight is completely out of love for you, not the desire to change you. :o)
After reading Em's comment I remembered something I was thinking: about how maybe he's worried about it's gonna go too far. Like he doesn't REALLY mean you need to gain, he just doesn't want to see you loose anymore. cuz he doesn't know where that's supposed to stop?
ReplyDeleteForcing is not an answer. But he wants you to be happy, and that's a problem. He tries to feed you to make you happy. He should understand you don't want to eat.
ReplyDeleteI usually eat when my husband's around. And he doesn't even know I eat 500 kcal a day. :)
I can not imagine being in this situation.. Would he maybe be more relaxed if he saw eat more "real" food? you know what I mean? -
ReplyDeleteTo be honest.. I am not sure if it is about the 4-5 lbs dif... I think he is just worried..
I absolutely adore you and consider you my biggest inspiration in the blogging world. But I'm going to be the voice of reason for a second... 4 lbs. it's not a lot. Mentally it feels like it. But think about it realistically. If that's what it takes to hold your marriage together, 4 lbs is a small price to pay
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say, my bf said I looked too skinny at 106lbs and where am I now? oh yeah 110lbs and hating it...so I know how you feel but can't say I have a solution. All I know is that my bf is happy I look a bit 'meatier' now. maybe if you maintain at 114lbs and just say that you've gained the weight back?...sometimes men are unobservant...hmm sorry for the rubbish advice, I honestly can't think of a solution because mine has been weight gain and a sour face. xxx
ReplyDelete