Oops I did it Again

113 lbs

From the looks of my blogger dashboard I'm not the only one that screwed up so how about I join in and tell my tale of woe and total weekend failure huh?  Ok, to give myself credit I did fine on Friday and Sunday.  So if you'll remember Thursday night was my freebie yum yum Pizza night.  Freebie in that I did not suffer any consequences on the scale.  To be on the safe side I made sure to stay under 1K on Friday. 

Saturday night was dinner out with hubby.  I made sure to restrict all day (which is really rough when dinner isn't until 7pm) and had the best of intentions as we headed out that night.  Don't we always?  I was good and starving but planning on ordering soup and side salad because this place has a bread basket that always does me in.  Hubby tried to convince me to, "Just order the Chicken Caesar Salad or something else besides plain old soup and salad that you can get anywhere since I'm not even going to be around to make you eat later."  I might as well have for all the good my so called good choice did me.  I put in my soup/salad order and proceeded to tear apart the bread.  One problem.  I had to order an entree in order for us to use our Anniversary coupon the restaurant sent us.  Fine, I'll just eat half.  I ordered steak with a side of rice.  The waiter still gave me my soup anyways so I ate all my salad and had a couple spoonfuls of soup.  When my entree came I ate about half the steak and a couple bites of rice and took the rest of it home.  So, what's the problem right?  Doesn't sound like too bad of a night.  The problem is that somehow I still managed to consume 1,600 calories at dinner!!  Somehow, before I know it I've totally blown it.  It happens so fast.  It's like some strange phenomenon.  A strange phenomenon called pigging out syndrome.  What killed me is the bread, the wine and the damn dessert that I still can't even figure out why I ordered since I said I wasn't going to anymore.  Oh, I know why I ordered it....'cause I LOVE Molten Chocolate Lava Cake and have no willpower.  I didn't even share it!  Hubby ordered his own dessert.  I try to be as honest as possible with myself when calculating calories.  The most decadent single molten lava cake I found online that is a good size was 470 and 4oz (L3"xW3"x H1.44" according to the website) so I went with that and just added in a 2.5 oz scoop of ice cream ('cause it was small) for 162 cals and grand total of 623!!.  Whatever!!!  1,797 calorie fail for the day.  But you see, even just without dessert I would have done really well but could I say NO?  NO!!!!!  My stomach felt so was full of bread and wine that by that time that I almost felt like it couldn't get much worse.



Tiny, Delicious, Evil.  My downfall.

I got way buzzed on just a few sips of wine which was fun (thank you empty stomach).  Overall the indulgence was worth it for me 'cause it was a nice dinner out with hubby and all that jazz but I'm no less annoyed with myself.  I wish I could just flip off the switch and quit with the pigging out when I go out to eat already.  It's getting really old.  I'm going on Vacation next month and I DO NOT want to come home 5 lbs heavier or worse and have to deal with damage control mode.  I HATE damage control mode.  I prefer maintenance mode thank you very much.  Yesterday I wanted to eat one of my left over slices of Pizza but it's too heavy to risk for a day after pigging out even if I stayed in budget.  I had last weeks left over beans (to encourage a nice BM) and left over bread from the restaurant for dinner and stayed under 1K.  I was 113.5  the morning after so that was only 1 lb up.  I took a dump yesterday evening and then another this morning right before weigh in (good timing) and am at 113 today.  I went to the gym yesterday and burned 568 cals and I'm either going today and/or tomorrow.  We'll see.

Hubby is gone.  I cried when he left.  It's no longer then any of the other times but this is the 3rd big trip this year and he is going out of the country this time.  I probably won't even get to talk to him.  That morning I watched him like a hawk.  I couldn't take my eyes off of him.  He was doing his last minute packing.  We cuddled a bit in bed then we hung out downstairs while he ate.  The house felt so empty and lonely after he drove off.  I went off to the gym right after that so it kept my mind off of it.  Sunday was our 1 year wedding anniversary but we have a bit of anniversary confusion because we actually got married in November of 2008 but kept it a secret.  Our wedding was in July of last year, over a year later.  Our wedding day was awesome and more wonderful then I dreamed it would be so it's not a bad day to celebrate and it's the day everyone knows about but November is the real day.  Last year we got married in July and then I don't even think we really did anything in November to specifically honor our actual wedding date.  This year I don't know what we are doing.  We went to a nice dinner Saturday night so I guess that counts.  I don't really care though.  We do plenty of fun things in between and I don't care that much about getting gifts so whether or not we do anything specifically for our anniversary isn't a big deal to me.

Shame on me!!!!!