Stuck on 111

Oh PBJ how I have missed thee! 

Wednesday night dinner was a delicious PBJ w/Pretzels.  It's been so long!  I ate one for breakfast every day for the longest and then stopped because it was too hard to fit into my calorie budget.  Last night it was 2 Hebrew National Hot Dogs on toasted buns w/FF Pringles and tonight.....I'm thinking a bag of microwave popcorn or French Bread if I stop at Albertson's which I've been kinda thinking about doing since I'll be over there.  For once I'm stuck at a weight I like.  111 sounds good to me.  It is a pound below the low end of my maintenance weight so I didn't expect it to last for more then a few days.  Amazing what can happen when I get to eat what I want when I want without any interference or outside temptation/food events.  When I am able to do this well at home if I indulge at a social event it's not a big deal because I can make up for it by restricting the next day.  But when I am forced to eat dinners and this and that at home too in addition to some social outings where I might eat more then it totally screws up my plan.  Restricting and staying skinny as a single gal is so much easier!!  I wouldn't trade hubby in my life for the world though.  To chose eating disordered behaviors over people is foolish and although I love the freedom I get when I'm on my own I love having him in my life even more.  I will enjoy this for now and then when he comes home I'll just continue on doing my best to navigate the inevitable food pitfalls and maintain.  I've been doing pretty well with it.  It just get's so annoying sometimes.  I was talking to my mom about it and got all kinds of agitated about how I'm tired of feeling pressure to eat dinner and cook and that I just want to be left alone to my food habits.  For some reason I feel so much anger about this right now and I'm not sure why.

The Top Model finale was awesome.  SPOILER ALERT:  I think Molly is beautiful but I really wanted Brittany to win.  Molly has kind of a negative energy about her that I didn't like and I love it that Brittany was able to make it out of the Trailer Park.  The fact of the matter is Molly will still get a modeling contract somewhere and get to model.  All of the top 5 probably will.  This is the first season in a while where I really loved both finalists.  I did think it odd that they both got identical haircuts for final panel.  They are both so pretty that they pulled it off well.  Brittany is so perfectly thin and gorgeous.  Well, they both are.  Once again I got all annoyed at the end when she says that if you put your mind to it your dream really can come true.  Easy for her to say...hers just did.  It's all nice and good to make statements like that but the truth of the matter is dreams don't always come true.  Duh! The ones who are always talking about not giving up and it can happen are always the ones who are successful.  Ever notice that?  Of course they believe it.  And the thing is that they need to realize that it will not happen for everyone.  Only the lucky, the best and the strongest.  The ones who have crashed and burned might still have hope and not have given up yet but they aren't quite as certain that anything truly is possible.  Because anything is not possible.  That's life.  Ok, that's my other rant for the day. 

I'm ready for this work day to be over.  I guess I can't complain too much considering I've been reading blogs for half the day.  Also, they do treat us nice here.  We got little goodie bags for employee appreciation week. I get to leave early to get my TB test read.  Yeah!  I succumbed to office cupcakes today.  Boo!  So I cut out my healthy afternoon snacks.  I hate doing that because I need that healthy stuff in my diet but if I can't resist the sweets I have to so I won't go over on calories.  This weekend I will have to do something I've been dreading and putting off.  Clean house.  Uggghh!  I'll do it before my sister gets here then we are off to an evening Baby Shower/Bar B Q where I could potentially ruin my little 111 perfection.  Then tomorrow is dinner at Mom's.  I get to pick what we eat so I'm going to ask for Turkey Chili.  Healthy and  Fiber filled.  Already in my calorie tracker.  Just what I need.

Oh, and I decided I need to exchange my Medium Hue Jeanz leggings for Smalls.  They just don't fit the way they should.  They are even baggy around the calf area and I know that even if I gained 7 lbs that part of my leg won't get bigger!  I don't know if I have the receipt so I'll have to bring them back to Nordstrom's who will take anything even though I got them at Bloomies.  Problem is, they don't have any Smalls in the Navy blue.  Now I can't wear them until I find another pair.  Ugg! I hate it when I do crap like this.