Small Potatoes & Ball Game Food

113.2 lbs

I was so worried that I gained!  I was very annoyed when I realized that our B Day work lunch outing was the same day as the Baseball game.  I really hate having more then one social event that is likely to involve food on the same day.  I was so anxious about what to order at lunch.  They don't have a menu listed, I'd never been there and I had no idea what I was in for.  I went with a side of roasted potatoes and artichokes and ate two small dinner rolls.  I just could not afford to eat anything else.  Everyone else ordered salads, soups and entree.  Two got dessert and one guy got an extra chicken, but not me.  It was a small victory for me.  I didn't know what was in store for me at the game so I had to save calories.  "Is that all you got?" my boss asked.  I just said yeah.  I didn't try to explain it or anything but it did make me feel uncomfortable.  I got me to thinking, why is that?  Why is there such a huge level of discomfort about not wanting to eat a lot of food in group settings.  It's not the first time I've gotten a comment like that and it never fails to make me feel uncomfortable, singled out and weird.

I did all kinds of research to figure out the calorie count on the potatoes and plug it into my phone.  I could just feel them sitting in my tummy making me gain weight.  I prepped by just eating Fiber 1 and coffee for breakfast and then it was off to the game right after work.  The Baseball stadium is not only a lot newer and nicer then our Football stadium but the food is way better and way cheaper.  I was able to find the fit cart where I got my Turkey Wrap from last time we were there and that's all I got.  It is a big wrap.  I think it's a 12" tortilla but its healthy so I didn't feel too bad and it comes with fruit.  All the dressing is on the side so I didn't have that on it either.  With all the Pizza, Hot Dogs, Churros, Candy, French Fries and Nachos surrounding me everywhere I looked it was SO HARD not to say screw it and get something like that.  It smelled so good.  It's times like that where I feel I want to eat and eat everything in sight and never stop.  Hubby gave me a bite of his thick cheesy pizza and his giant at least 10" hot dog.  And I had no beer.  It was way too cold.  I always see these women trying to look cute at these games.  Cute little tops and no jacket so they can show off their cute jersey's.  Sometimes I wish I could do that too the need to stay warm is far greater then my desire to look cute.  I had my hat, gloves, scarf, Pea coat and Ugg boots.  I was wearing my skinny jeans and was acutely aware of how baggy they are in the butt and the waist.  It's awful.  Good cause I lost weight but bad 'cause I don't feel my jeans are flattering my body at all.  I want to look skinny not baggy!

I didn't feel full but content after the wrap and although I wanted some hot chocolate I passed because I wanted to stay in my budget.  When we got home I was freaking out but I HAD to know.  I was the same as my morning weight which is a miracle.  I don't know how that happened.  Then, I also knew that chances are I would not loose a thing over night, and I was pretty much right.   I woke up only 2 ounces lighter!  Off to the gym today no matter how tired I am.  I will be going on vacation next week.  I really want to get into the 112's again, preferably the lower end, by the time we leave.  I haven't managed lower then 112.6 in a while.  America's Next Top Model tonight!! Yeah.


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Q & A
Kitty:  Why don't you share the expenses with your hubby based on a % of what you earn?  I remember reading in one of your posts that you didn't want to share the expenses but I cant remember why?

In my last post I was whining about all my expenses for this month and next month being over $1500 what with B days, traveling, extra bills and other things all happening at the same time.  My husband and I do share household expenses.  I only put in 1/2 of what he does into our joint checking for mortgage, bills and joint savings.  Whatever is left over is what is mine to spend and out of that I put some aside for my own individual savings.  The problem is that my expenses this month is more then what is left over for me to spend.  I don't ask hubby for money.  I feel bad enough that I can only contribute about 50% what he does.  I work, I make my own money and how I choose to spend it on me.  His left over money is for whatever he wants to spend it on.  I can't very well ask him to help me buy him his own i pad! Which is part of the reason my budget is so busted right now.  It just doesn't really allow for a $778 purchase plus other things all in one month.  I live within my means even if I'm not exactly thrilled with those means.  I don't rely on credit cards and only spend what I can actually afford.  If it means waiting to buy something next month then so be it.  I don't feel that these extra expenses are frivolous.  It's all been for things we need and then extra bills and B days.  So, this time around I may not be able to pay off the balance in one month and ideally will pay it off the next.

I used to have a SUPER hard time with the fact that I don't make as much as hubby.  I felt terrible.  I felt like such a loser.  I'd been independent and self supporting since college, in my previous relationship I was the breadwinner and I'd been living by myself for five years when he came along.  The thought of combining finances and having him contribute more was terrifying to me and caused me all kinds of anxiety.  It took a while but I was able to get over it. I had to.  We wanted a house and I had to be realistic about it.  I designed the budget so that I could contribute the absolute maximum I could to the household and still have some left over over for me.  I just don't make enough money!!! Whah.  But that's for me to deal with.