Happy Hour With the Ex & Food Rules

113.6 lbs

Last night I met my ex for happy hour.  I haven't seen him in almost a year and it was cool to hang out again.  We always have fun joking and chatting.   It was also cool to rub my happiness in his face.  It always is.  They say the best revenge is success and happiness.  Looking good doesn't hurt either.  I wouldn't call myself a smashing success but I am happy.  I have a great husband, a house I love and a decent job.  I wish I made more money but I'm not in debt, my finances are in order and I have savings.  I am not the most beautiful woman in the world.  Obviously, as those spots are reserved for the likes of Giselle Bundchen and Nicole Kidman but I've always been told I am attractive.  I may not be high fashion pretty but I'm at least girlfriend pretty.  And most importantly I am slim.  Again, not tall, high fashion, tiny waist with perfect slim hips, thin but slim enough that I'm in my comfort zone with my body.  He could have been with me and he blew it.  Things worked out great though.  I am so glad I didn't end up with him and I am pretty certain that even if he hadn't blown it for himself that we would not have made it.  He is just not my kinda guy.  He has so much street in him which is fine but I kinda think he was just that irresistible bad boy type which is often just a phase and probably not the guy you really want to marry and settle down with.  He was lying to me about the status of his marriage during our whole relationship and didn't fess up until I busted him.  He was dating me but wasn't actually available.  But if he really and truly was would I have wanted him like I said I did?  Would it have actually worked out?  Nope.  My hubby is perfect for me and I couldn't be happier with him and how my life is turning out with him.  So yeah, I gushed on and on about how great things are.   He just retired so he is being paid by the military to go to school right now while he looks for a job. He's still up to his old games when it comes to the ladies.  He is running around dating silly girls way younger then him and has yet to get his own place which is ridiculous for someone of his age who has a 14 year old daughter but whatever. 

I am slimmer then he has ever seen me.  He didn't waste a minute in telling me that I need to eat.  And eat I did.  I over did it big time and I am so angry at myself.  I hardly ate a thing all day in preparation for this.  I had two cookies and coffee for breakfast.  The sweet tooth strikes again but still in good calorie range for another meal.  By the time I got there I was starving of course.  The food itself wasn't that bad.  We split a casadilla that was mostly chicken and not super cheesy.  I should have only eaten 1/4 because I could already feel a slight fullness in my belly.  I am even ok with the fact that I had a light beer.  The bad part was the chips.  The fact that I couldn't seem to stop myself from eating them.  I ended up at 1,126 calories.

I have to get back to where I was before when I was actively in weight loss mode and in much better control of my food urges.  Here are some new ground rules.

1. Stop with the food as soon as I feel any sensation of fullness in my belly.  This will mostly apply in dining out and social event settings.  At home my portions are always fine when we cook and even if we order out food I'm good about not eating it all if I start to feel full.  Unless we order in pizza-I have a tendencey to go wild-and the goal is to stop at 2 slices.
2. Only one sweet treat a day.  If I decide I'm going to have a cookie at work then I don't get to have the ice cream at home later.  Even if it is only 120 cals of light ice cream.  Even if it fits into my calorie budget.  The only exception might be if I've managed to totally skip dinner.  I've just been getting ridiculous lately.  It'll cause me to eat eat an apple instead or a piece of string cheese at night which will be much healthier for me and will cut the calories a bit. 
3. No excessive mindless munching while watching TV or reading. I enjoy watching TV and eating so sometimes I'll save a snack for when a show comes on.  That's not so bad but what is bad is that I find myself eating something indulgent just because a show came on or eating longer and more to continue munching during the duration of the show.  I'm going to try to make water my friend and try to train myself to see water as a "snack" or "action" during my TV watching or reading.  If I must munch it needs to just be that reasonable portion and low cal.

Additional Tips:

• Don't overdo it on the bread basket or chip basket. If I know I'm going to be indulging in these I can at the very least go easy on the entree and just get soup or something small.
• Cut the alcohol. Stick to beer or wine. If I am drinking with the intention of getting drunk stick to hard alcohol shots.
• Watch the Candy AND sweets. They totally blow the calorie budget and inflate my numbers leaving me hungry. Again, moderation!!
• A little bit of this and a little bit of that adds up. In social settings it's ok to get a bit of everything as long as it really is a bit. If I'm doing a little bit of this and that my little bit needs to be a bite or two. Otherwise it adds up fast. Once again, moderation!!!
• Never say "screw it" and totally give up. Mistakes and over indulgences will happen. It's what you do after they happen that will make a huge difference on if you gain and if so how much.
• Drag my butt to the gym. It totally sucks and it doesn't need to be a lot but even a couple days a week will allow me to undo damage done and/or eat a little bit more at times and at least maintain.
• Maintenance has it pitfalls but the losing process is way harder. Don't blow it. I don't want to start all over.
• Hunger happens. Deal with it.

I ate a donut for breakfast with no coffee.  Boy did I ever get that meal backwards.  Pig.  Bad choice influenced by free office food and a major sweet tooth but for the rest of the day at work I only get to eat my Fiber 1.  I'll drink water and chew gum to stave off the hunger that is sure to come.  When I get home it's minimal to none.  Hopefully hubby will not thwart my efforts like he did the other night.  I came home expecting to eat a chicken breast and corn.  Low cal.  Good to go.  He got into the kitchen and made pasta with olive oil to go with it so I had to eat that instead.  He even fixed my plate! I was so annoyed.  And I was annoyed with myself for being annoyed by my sweet husband making dinner for his wife.  Then, he says let's make crepes this weekend.  I was just like, "Shoot me now!!."  Does he not understand that with my weight up, his B Day dinner on Saturday and a vacation around the corner I simply do not have space in my food plans for crepes?  I don't even know what they are.  I'm not saying a word and I hope he forgets.  I'm not happy with the fact that I've gained and have not been able to maintain in the 112's for a while but the good thing is that it's not too late to fix it.  I'm still in the lower end of my goal maintenance range but I do not want to get out of control.  I'm going to have to get tough with myself.  I have hubby's B day dinner tomorrow and vacation next week.  This is the time when I really need to nip it in the bud and check myself.  I do not want to start this whole thing all over again.  Maintaining has it's own challenges but it's way better then that whole losing process.