111 lbs !!?

Yesterday:  Cals 606, Exercise 600 (Elliptical- 70 minutes) 
Today:  111 lbs

I didn't even realize I basically burned up everything that I ate yesterday for a 6 calorie net.  I was not hungry at all after that brunch so there really was no need to eat anything else.  I had a few snacks and that was it.  I'm thinking of upping my calorie budget to low 900's.  I can still go under of course but 900's might be more reasonable for maintenance.  It's low enough that it will help keep a lid on any excess eating but high enough that I can feel mostly successful and am not totally busting my budget just about every day.  I don't want to go too low considering I live in fear of the dreaded metabolism halt.  I'm afraid that is what is happening right now.  Well, not right now but next.  That this flurry of weight loss is just the calm before the storm.  I'll wake up one day and take a bite of Fiber 1 and gain 2 lbs for no reason.  It's happened before...it could happen again.  I can only hope that I've been eating enough calories that my body does not think it's starving and won't quit doing what it's supposed to do.

I put on my pants today and they are just hanging off of me.  Like, wow-my body mass has really changed.  Realistically, I know I'm not fat.  My mind is not that distorted.  I still don't really see a skinny body when I look in the mirror though.  Just regular.  Average.  Not skinny, not big.  It's definitely an improvement over thinking I'm fat.  I no longer think I'm fat.  I just don't see the skinny so much.  I don't think anyone has noticed my weight loss over the past few months.  It's definitely harder for people who see you every day to notice but I don't think anyone else has either.  I don't think I look too different....but on the other hand my clothes tell a different story!

I certainly didn't plan on 111 so I don't know what's going on.  117.4 BMI!  I'd much rather lose mysteriously then gain mysteriously but either way I end up in the same place.  When I lose I think it's too good to be true making me anxious and when I gain I get super anxious so either way I sort of end up with the same emotion no matter what is happening which really makes absolutely no sense.

I may not have been hungry yesterday but I woke up pretty hungry today and now I'm starving!  I'm eating my yogurt greedily licking the lid and making sure I get every scrap out of the tiny container that I can...and dreading the gym.  I will force myself to go even though I am hungry AND sleepy.  I'll be day dreaming about that pizza I'm finally making for dinner while I sweat it out on the Elliptical. 

I've totally reached my maximum capacity of thought here at work.  I'm surfing the net until it's time to run out of here.

120 (18.8)   -  12/13/10 
119 (18.6) [X] 12/14/10
118 (18.5) [X] 12/22/10
117 (18.3) [X] 01/11/11
116 (18.2) [X] 01/11/11
115 (18.0) [X] 01/12/11
114 (17.9) [X] 01/26/11  GW1
113 (17.7) [X] 02/04/11
112 (17.5) [X] 02/20/11  GW2   
111 (17.4) [X] 02/22/11