Maintenance Land

Yesterday: 
     931 Food cals
     500 Exercise cals
Today:  110.4 lbs

My body feels like a lean mean calorie burning machine and I like that but can't help but live in dread for when it decides it wants to get lazy again and start holding onto every morsel I put into my mouth. I'm not trying to push it. I sort of did aim for 112 but have not had any solid goals of going any lower. Pizza for dinner last night was delicious!!! It was french bread pizza so I cut it down the center then into halves to make four pieces. I ate one of the four. It was 527 calories mostly because of all that bread, but I had enough room in my budget. The toppings were turkey pepperoni and onions. I literally walked into the kitchen all sweaty from the gym washed my hands, turned on the oven and started putting the pizza together. We probably ate around 7:30pm which is later then I like but it was the fastest I could get it done.  We ate pizza and watched Teen Mom 2.  Then, we booked our flights to SF.  We picked the dates and requested time off then Southwest announced their sale so we we were all over it.  We are going to fly out there and visit my little sister in May. 

It's been about 10 weeks since I had my holy crap moment after seeing 120 lbs on the scale.  I really think I've done a lot better with controlling my intake and not seeing every food opportunity as a reason to stuff my face.  Tracking cals on my phone has been hugely helpful.  Keeping track was such a pain in the butt before but now I can quickly add foods to my app and it really keeps me accountable seeing that on my screen.  Last night with the Pizza I was thinking I might want to eat a whole half.  I mean, I really, really love Pizza.  I ate the 1/4 piece and then consciously thought about how hungry I still was or not.  I kinda was still hungry but realistically, I knew that I had had enough.  I quickly calculated what my cals would be if I did eat another half and that was absolutely ridiculous!  1k worth of pizza in one sitting at home on a Tuesday night?  Now, when I go to the fair I will be all over my favorite french bread pizza.  It's huge but I will eat the whole thing there and love every bite.  I simply do not need to do that all the time.  I wasn't full but not being full doesn't necessarily mean that you need more food.  I ate a 100 calorie pecan twirl to satisfy my little snack desire and that was it.

This really is a lifestyle.  You can't pig out every other day and expect to loose and/or even maintain.  Some people have a metabolism that will allow them to be super skinny and never ever have to think about it but then there are others who are not so lucky.  If I want to be skinny I have to work at it.  I'm going to have my indulgent moments but I'm getting better at picking and choosing them.  Do I want to indulge a little bit at the B Day party on Saturday or do I want to save that for the housewarming party on Sunday?  I also have curbed drinking a bit.  If my intent is to get buzzed I stick with hard alcohol.  Not so filling and does the job.  Also, drink a bit on the empty stomach to get that buzz faster then use the food to absorb later.  I LOVE beer and at a happy hour I will generally drink the whole thing 'cause I just paid for it but if I'm at home or a party I'll just drink half or so.  Just enough to get that taste I like and not over fill my belly.  I normally stick to ordering wine out though just because it is less filling.  I used to feel like I had to take advantage of every single chance to eat free foods and drink free alcohol.  My mentality was "Oh, there is a party, I'm going to have to eat a lot."  But there will always be another party so there is no need to do that.  I don't HAVE to eat a lot.  I am also not depriving myself of  "real food."  I do have to deny myself a lot of what I want but I do allow myself a lot of what I do want.  In moderation.  Even if I just take a few bites of that donut sometimes it's enough just to get that taste I'm after.  Or just eat the whole damn thing but make room for it in the calorie budget and don't make it a habit. 

Granted, I've always been pretty strict about my eating but it got to the point where I had one too many slip ups after feeling so darn deprived and then got lazy with restricting.  I think that's why I ended up  at 120.  I also try to realize that even though I'm at my goal weight I must still be vigilant.  This does not give me free reign to eat whatever and whenever now.  I have to stick with the same mindset that got me here and hope against hope that my body continues to respond.