Thank you so much for all of your wonderful comments regarding me reaching my goal weight. My goal weight may not be as extreme as some of yours so that's probably the only reason I got there at all. Of course I will keep blogging. I have been writing in a journal since elementary school and I love that I can do this online now. Which I have been doing for a loooong time now in different places. I will never stop writing.
I am anxious. I practically held my breath when I got on the scale this morning. Now that I got to 114 I feel like the only place to go is up. That's not where I want to go but sometimes it feels inevitable. It is such a delicate balance. I fight my body to reach a lower weight then it wants and at the same time I don't want to deprive it so much that it turns on me. I am well aware that it could rebel at any moment and that my resolve can weaken at any time. I'm afraid to eat. I'm afraid not to eat. It's just so exhausting. Mentally and physically. There are times when I am just so worn out by caring so much and trying so hard for something that I'm probably not meant to have. I am tired of the roller coaster. Any gain at this point is going to feel like failure. I have been getting about 850 calories in every day on average but even so, it's not a whole lot. How realistic is this? Medically speaking this is a starvation diet. Over the long term I can feel it. I get hungry more often. My body wants more and sometimes it's so hard not to give in. If I go up will I be able to get back down. Should I try to lose more? This journey never ends.
Congrats on meeting your goal!
ReplyDeleteI definitely understand the anxiety about gaining, but if you up your cals slowly, you should be able to maintain just fine.
why is it so easy to give in to food but terribly hard to give into our dreams for life...i say more doing less eating!
ReplyDeleteI say, give yourself a week off - not letting yourself go - but eating the same, if not a little more, and working out because you want to and enjoy it, not grimly to lose cals.
ReplyDeleteAfter the week see how your weight is. If you feel you need to go lower, well there you go. But if not, welcome to maintenance!
xx
First off, do not brush off meeting your goal! Just because it was a higher number than some does not mean that you didn't accomplish anything. You did damn great, and deserve to feel that way.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as being freaked out about eating? I've always wondered how that worked when you reached your goal and if you were happy with your number. I'm sure the newness of seeing that number will wear off, and as long as you keep it there a few days your body will adjust and you'll just maintain at or really close to it. You'll be fine :]
I understand exactly where you are coming from. maitenance is almost terrifying, trying to figure out what will keep you the same weight without gaining.
ReplyDeleteI also wonder what will replace the exhilerating feeling of seeing a loss on the scale. I'm glad to hear you'll keep posting, cuz I'll keep reading :)
~ Harlow
Again, congrats and yay for staying here!!:D
ReplyDeleteAbout losing...make it an option which should be pretty easy if you can maintain 114. But do it at your own pace and only if you feel like it. :)
Congrats-- you should be so proud! Maintaining is challenging-- especially since our bodies tend to fluctuate as much as a few pounds over the month. But my advice is to listen to your body, be healthy, and be strong.
ReplyDeleteYAY! I'm so glad to hear you've met your goal. I would suggest that instead of focusing on that *magic number* of 114, you allow yourself a 4lb range you feel comforable in. Maybe 112-116. That way, if you want to let lose for a weekend and go up a couple lbs, you can restrict for a few days and be right back down. Or better yet, anticipate the "letting lose" and drop a couple more lbs so after, you'll be back at 114. Maintaining can actually be pretty nice if you don't stress too much over those small fluctations. I would also suggest SLOWLY eating more calories and seeing how many your body can tolerate before you start to gain. Because like you said, 800 is still very very low, medically speaking. Anyhow - CONGRATS AGAIN, LADY!
ReplyDeleteglad youre going to keep posting! I am interested to see what will happen now. Usually the battle is portrayed as reaching your goal, but once you have met it, where do you go from there??? I'm glad I have your blog to chronicle what happens next. <3RaeLynn
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