119.0 [Day 2] 500 Calorie Burn

Work was so frustrating yesterday. L came in early but because of stupid meetings I only get to work with her for about 15 minutes.  Normally, I get about an hour at the end of the day which is still ridiculous when learning a job to only have an hour of training and/or support a day. During the day if I'm working on something I am totally held up because I have to wait until 4pm to get clarification on it and then work on it the next day. This is totally inefficient and it's annoying. I am not able to get work done fast enough. I feel like I'm falling behind and it's stressing me out.  It would be nice to get stumped, ask my question and then just be able to continue working. We didn't even get to going over new isis screens yesterday so now all day today is wasted where I can't work on it. Sigh.


It might be too soon to be updating my sidebar over there but really.  I should never have been up to 120 in the first place so I'm updating it and I'm not screwing it up.  I discovered the elliptical yesterday.  It's about freakin' time I did something other then the treadmill where I bust my butt dripping sweat and totally out of breath and sometimes only burn 300 cals.  The elliptical is where it's at.  500 cals in an hour.  Bam!!  I actually felt like I accomplished something and burned off more then my measly PBJ sandwich.  It made the gym time which takes away from my free time at home and gets me home at 7pm actually seem worthwhile.  I really did not want to go but desperate times call for desperate measures.  I lost that stupid 1lb I gained over the weekend but gaining it may well have been what forced me into the gym in the first place so it all worked out in the end.  I'm even going to go today too.  Oh hell, I'm already tired but to be able to burn 500 cals in one shot.  I will make myself go. It's gonna be a long week.  Tomorrow is hair appt after work then Thursday is football game after work.  Thank god Christmas Break starts next week.

I used to be OK with hangin' out in the 120's.  As long as it did not exceed 122.  My metabolism got shot, I had to eat and with minimal restricting I sort of hung out at 122 for a while.  Then last year without explanation the numbers started going down.  I wasn't exercising or anything.  I liked it of course especially since I didn't ever see myself getting below 120 again.  I restricted more and got down to 114 while hubby was gone.  Granted, that might be why the numbers went down.  Being in a relationship makes you fat.  But still...the numbers had not gone that low since I was busting my butt hard core restricting back in 2005.  So, ever since my weight dipped below 120 last year I have sort of made that my new goal for maintaining.  I was doing it too without too much effort.  Just my normal restricting, that is if you call restricting normal.  Then, it suddenly got really hard around March of this year but I kept it up.  It got to 116, then 118 maintenance then got hard to even maintain that.  Now here I sit on this weight loss mission.  Which to be honest I really haven't put effort into it this way with goals and everything in a long time.  Restriction is sort of part of my life....not necessarily a dieting weight loss thing...but it sort of is...so the lines are sort of blurred I guess. 

I went #2 two days in a row!!  Sunday and Monday.  That almost never happens.  Definitely a good thing.  Hopefully an awesome work out can put me at 118.5 by tomorrow and then I will work like hell to be strong and maintain restricting and keep loosing.  My stomach was growling like crazy last night in bed.  It's been a while since I felt those major hunger pangs and it was a good thing.  It reminds me of how it used to be.  How it needs to be.  Don't expect to eat.  Expect not to eat.  Expect the pain and push through it.  I am having to relearn that since I've gotten so indulgent over the last few months.  Before I would have come home from the gym and been like...."Oh, I should eat something even if it's just a sandwich.  Don't want my metabolism to shut down."  Well, last night I was thinking, how little can I eat.  I had cake but not excessively so and I will consider yesterday-my day 1-a success.

Yesterday's Eats: [800 cals]

• PBJ (240), Coffee (50)
• Dry Cereal (90)
• FF Pringles (40), Apple (50), String Cheese (80)
• Cake (250)

Gym:  Elliptical, 60 min/500 cals