The Weekend: Party, Envy, Relax

Friday night was fun.  I had lots of guys hitting on me.  It's nice to know that I still got it.  My friend D was getting on my nerves.  We had a lot to catch up on since I hadn't seen her in a while.  I was telling her about my new job and our vacation and half the time I felt like she wasn't even listening.  I think she's jealous.  She is very large, not attractive, her boyfriend is ugly and a loser, guys don't hit on her, she wishes she were married and she wants to buy a house but can't.  When I had my shower she was the ONLY person who didn't make a kind comment about our house.  Nothing.  She finally got her BA then her masters but she is so rough around the edges that I don't really see her working anywhere else.  She can be loud and inappropriate and I probably wouldn't have been friends with her if I hadn't met her at work.  As large as she is (size 16/18) she wore a leotard/bustier on Halloween and she wore a see through net type dress so you could see bra and panty under for her B Day 2 years ago!  I am her friend because she has a really good heart.  She really is a very sweet person and when I met her I just had to look past a lot of her "ghetto" ways. 

My life is far from perfect but a lot of good things have happened to me this year.  When we met I was totally the underdog.  I was struggling financially, depressed, single, living in my little studio and adjusting to being a lowly clerical assistant.  Before she took on that dead weight that is her boyfriend she had a lot more money to spend and she was hopeful about her job prospects after getting her BA then Masters.  She was going places and I was the one who felt like I was at a dead end.  Now the tables have turned a bit.  She did get a boyfriend but he is a loser and I don't think they are anywhere close to marriage.  Which is a good thing because he is a 40 year old who had never had a "real" job.  Oh, and he has 3 kids!  She is only in her twenties and basically supports him.  A lot of things that I have is what she wants right now.  Anyhow, I am just feeling this disconnect and I think it's because she is a bit resentful of me.  And believe me I know what that feels like.  I used to burn with jealousy and envy.  It seemed like everyone else's life was so much better then mine.  I was just so unhappy with myself that I couldn't help it.  I was happy for other's good fortune but couldn't help but be sad about my own.  It even made it hard for me to hang out with certain people.

As soon as I got home from that Friday night out it was like I fell in love with hubby all over again.  Something about being out in that club environment makes me miss him and love him all the more.  There were a few cute guys there but no one measures up to my hubby.  I'll chat just to be polite and light flirting can be fun but it stops there.  I have the man of my dreams already!  I came home and he was downstairs looking so cute in a white undershirt and jeans.  I just threw my arms around him and was so glad to have such a wonderful man waiting for me at home. 

Our party went well on Saturday night.  I am such a bitch sometimes.  I didn't even really want to invite anyone over at first.  I was all nervous about having lots (greater then 4) people in my  house.  It was some kind of control/OCD what if my house gets dirty thing.  It also just seemed like work and money.  Hubby spent over $100 on groceries for this.  He pretty much put everything together, did all the cooking and we ended up with 10 people.  I did help out with dishes and prep and anywhere else I could.  It was fun.  I actually curled my hair and did my eyes.  When it's at your house the party comes to you which is nice.  You can drink and get tipsy without worrying about driving.  When it's time to clean up you are so buzzed that even that is fun.  I had a really good time, I'm glad we did it and I would do it again too!  I would actually like to invite my friends over now. I don't have many and I imagine it will be different then a party then with hub's friends. We even got presents even though we didn't "advertise" this as a house warming. A cool Cuisinart wine chiller off our registry and a drink dispenser. His friends are so awesome. 

It's the first time I've ever hosted a party at my house in the 16 years since I moved out of mama's house.  Ever.  Aside from my shower this year where I just provided the space-my hostesses did all the work.  I've always had tiny and/or drab apartments and was usually too embarrassed to invite anyone over.  I can't even imagine my ex husband and I inviting people over back then.  We were so miserable and neither one of us was very sociable! 

Friday night put on the pounds. 

• cheese, tortilla chips, veggies, 1 chix tender and 1 potato skin 
• 3 glasses of wine and a cranberry & vodka. 
• I weighed myself that night when I shouldn't have and saw 120.5! 

I woke up the next day (Saturday) at 119.

• Before the party I didn't eat much at all.  Snack wells, coffee and 1/4 of hubby's sandwich. 
• At the party itself I had more drink then food and think I did ok there.  A few veggies and tortilla chips, dinner of chicken and a little pasta and then a small brownie with a little bit of ice cream on it for dessert. 

I woke up Sunday at 119.5. 

• I FINALLY was able to take a dump on Sunday (it never happened that Friday or even the next day!!). 
• I had a donut in the morning 'cause hubby had a craving and went out and got it.  
• A sensible dinner of chicken, broccoli and pasta.  I  dropped down to 118.5 by the end of Sunday night and woke up there this morning. 

I spent all day on Sunday inside in my pajamas doing mostly nothing.  Hubs and I just hanging out.  It rained most of the day.  It was sooo hard to wake up this morning and go to work.  I just took another dump thank goodness so hopefully I'm back on track.  On track to what?  I don't really know.  I guess it would be nice to get back into 116's.