I feel kinda bad for my big sis. She is so broke. She isn't working because she is a stay at home mom and luckily is still collecting $800 per month unemployment. That won't last though and she will need to collect $800 per month from her husband just to pay her car and student loan bill and have money for her hair and other misc expenses. She says staying at home isn't as fun as she thought it would be. I'm not surprised. For so long she has envied those women who were full time mom's while she slogged off to jobs that barely paid her bills day after day. Well now she is one of the lucky ones who don't have to work and it's just not as lovely and wonderful as she thought. She has to clean, cook and the baby is exhausting. Her hubby is practically an alcoholic. I don't really consider this alcoholic but one of my friends does because he drinks a bottle of Hennessey every weekend. That's a $200 per month habit! He snores and doesn't really like to do much. They used to go to the movies but now that the baby is in the mix and they can't do that there is nothing to do 'cause he won't do anything else. There doesn't seem to be any joy in their relationship. No fun. He's sort of a bum on weekends and doesn't like to really help out all that much around the house. I think she could be a heck of a lot happier with someone else but she picked him.
So she called me last night and was upset because her tire is flat and she might have to buy a new one so she'll have to use the money from the vacuum she sold. I was like, "You don't have an income your husband needs to pay." She's been selling stuff so she'll have money to buy her ball dress or buy extra things she needs. She told him she didn't need any money but she does. She says they don't talk. He comes home late from work and goes straight to the computer. They lead separate lives. Hers is at home with baby and his is at work all day. He doesn't like to do anything. When she talks she doesn't feel that he even listens. He'll say things like "well if you are tired don't clean the house. I don't care if it's clean." But she does. So, that's his solution but it doesn't help her any. He is closed minded about things. It's his outlook and that's it. She feels like she has to prep in order to try to make a point with him because he shoots everything down. This is the exact dynamic I had with my ex and that failed miserably. He always had the upper hand. You shouldn't feel as though you are going to battle when you are simply trying to express your feelings. I told her they need to talk. She needs to get some communication going or else nothing is going to change and she will be miserable.
I'm so glad hubby and I don't have those issues. We communicate. He listens to me. He might come home and go straight to PlayStation but we do come together by the end of the night and cuddle and watch TV and chat or whatever before it's time to go to bed.
Sometimes I am jealous that she doesn't have to work and she has this beautiful baby boy but on the other hand I'm not because she has no life. Her whole world is consumed by her baby. She is lucky to be going away for a weekend because of the out of town company ball but even this is a bummer of sorts because she has barely any money to spend. At least she'll get to sleep for more then 4 hours straight. Oh, and her body is totally wrecked. She has always had a difficult time loosing weight and carried a lot of weight in the middle but after child birth it's gotten a lot worse. She is up to a size 16 and she can only exercise if the baby let's her. Her boobs are bigger then they were before and they were already huge. She is actually plus size now which she never was before. At the most she was an 11/12. I'm not sure I'm willing to make any of those sacrifices for a child. Staying at home would not be an option for me and as hard as everyone says being a stay at home mom is I think being a mom and working full time has to be even harder. I'm too lazy to be a mom. When I come home from work I like to relax. I like to take naps on weekends if I want. I'm too lazy for a lot of things like going back to school too. I just feel that life is hard enough without adding children into the mix. I barely have enough money for things I want to do. When you have children your life is no longer your own and I don't like that.
It sucks that in this world we can't seem to have it all. That is reserved for the likes of Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Garner. They get to be rich, beautiful, thin, have awesome jobs AND be moms all at the same time. Most people will NEVER be so fortunate.
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