While I am not happy with the particular number I see on the scale I am happy to be maintaining and that I have gained some measure of acceptance about this scary higher number. The precious gap between my thighs remains, my clothes don't fit any differently, nor do I feel that my appearance has changed. It MUST be water and/or some type of fluctuation that my body is experiencing right now. Over the weekend I feel that my intake to expulsion ratio was good. I've been peeing regularly and have had bowel movements. My fibroids have also not enlarged to the humongous size it was this time last month so far which is good.
I went to happy hour on Friday and drank about 4 glasses of wine/champagne and ate some cheese and tortilla chips on top of that and I maintained. Sunday I ate 2 lovely slices of pizza on top of Cinnamon covered biscuits and cheese and crackers. I started out with the biscuits (per hubby request) and meant to end with the cheese and crackers but hubby decided to order pizza. Not the best choice in food but I limited myself to two when I can very easily eat 3-4. I did not exercise. Even after that I maintained. Granted, 119 is sort of disgusting but it seems like once I stopped kicking my butt to loose and agonizing over it I stopped gaining and maintained instead so I'll take it. For now. I will not freak out and I will just see how this plays out. I will continue to do my job to the best of my ability and hope that the numbers will follow. In two weeks I start Yaz and I'll just see what happens.
Today I've had my usual PBJ and some left over salad from a meeting. I found some low fat dressing in the fridge to put on top. For dinner I will take that left over slice of pizza from the meeting that I refrained from chowing down on while at work and eat that. Not bad for a day. At least not for me.
In other news...I went shopping. Which is such a high. I love having new things even though for so long and so often I have denied myself so much and not allowed myself to really enjoy any spending of money. I am hoping those days are over. I will always be a budget freak. I can't help that. But I am really wanting to be able to spend money without feeling sick. Why should I feel sick when it's in my budget? When I am not splurging beyond my means. When I am getting awesome deals? Things with the rental property have panned out ok. Hubby and I have been paying our brand new mortgage for 3 months now. I made a budget for what we both need to contribute to make ends meet and it seems to be working just fine. My honeymoon is around the corner and I want to be able to spend money there and I also might be getting some hair extensions which I need to be prepared to pay up front so I have to watch it. But barring any tragic occurrence-which always seems to come just when you take a deep breath and relax-things seem to be ok money wise. I can buy some super cute shoes without having a nervous breakdown and that is always a good thing.
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