Kind Of A Total Fail

Yesterday's Eats: 1505

• PBJ [235]
• Cheeseburger [400], beer [100], tortilla chips[150], pasta (1 scoop) [100]
• Assorted Fruit [100]
• Pop Em's [420]

45 Minute Walk

So, it was a fail when you consider the calories and the fact that I gained but it was not a fail when I consider that I didn't all out pig out.  I just ate pretty normally.  Which I was hoping I could have the willpower not to do but that was not the case.  If I had not been in denial and checked out the cals on the damn pop ems before I started eating them I might have saved myself those calories.  That was my major mistake of the day.  I started getting antsy after I ate and went off for a walk along the water which felt good.  I got home and weighed in at 118.5 and dropped only .5 over night so here I sit at 118.  Again.  Now I have to do well today and into next week which I think I can even with hubby back.  I'm going to eat a pbj now then nothing until I go to dinner at A & K's.  I will take a small portion of dinner and drink some wine and should be able to keep it under 1k for the day still.

Well, the BBQ was fun.  I had to drag my butt out of the house I was so tired.  Barbie was there in a cute little dress.  She is always so overdressed.  I guess when you are that fabulously stylish that's how you dress.  Even at a bbq.  She is so sweet though.  We are going to their house for dinner tonight which I really don't want to do.  Can't I just get a day to hang out at home?  Now I have to get dressed go over there and try not to stay too long so I can get back home to get ready for bed to go to work tomorrow.  I feel like such a bitch for feeling this way because this couple is nice and I really do like them.  I just like my free time too.

I tried to initiate sex this morning with the hubby and I guess I was rejected.  He says I don't initiate and he's right.  I'm shy.  My sex drive isn't as high either so sometimes I am not into it until he revs me up.  So, we were laying in bed this morning and I started to touch his parts.  He didn't reciprocate with touching any of my parts so that was that.  He got up to go get coffee so he can do his homework.  Oh well.  He can't say I didn't try.