Company Picnic

Yesterday's Eats:

• Breakfast:  PBJ (235), Coffee (50)
• Snack:  RF Wheat Thins (150), Yoplait (80)
• Dinner:  Tortilla Chips w/Spinach Dip, Steak Strips, Salmon Ball, Cake, Wine

Basically, if I eat anything more then very light foods right now and extremely minimally at that I gain weight.  Which sucks because earlier this year with no exercise and restricting as normal and doing happy hours/bad days here and there I was maintaining around 116-117.  Way hard times for me right now.  I felt really lucky when times were good and now I am feel totally betrayed by my body now that it won't cooperate anymore.  I hate to exercise and I am doing it now because I feel I have no choice in the matter but not hard core like some.  If I have to do hard core exercise every single day to maintain-well it's probably not going to happen.  My knees are so crappy-they wouldn't let me even if I wanted to,  Out of desperation I have mixed in some exercise and am TRYING although not as successfully as I would like to fight the rest of the fat with diet.  

I had a really good time Friday night over at hubby's friend's house.  There were 9 people in all.  I munched a little in the beginning but with restraint so I don't feel I overdid it.  Dinner was a small portion of some meat.  Dessert was a small piece of cake.  I got home and the scale said 120 which is becoming a very familiar and much hated number for me lately.  This morning I woke up at 119 which was only .5 up so I did the exercise video to fight off any damage done from last night.  And it worked.  I was down to 118.5 by the time we left for the company picnic.

Today's Eats: [710]

• Lunch:  Meatballs-5 (250), Roasted Chicken (200), Potato Salad (100), Mac & Cheese (90), Beans (70)

All the helpings of the sides were basically a small scoop each.  Looking at what I ate I feel like a pig but overall I am feeling OK with how I did at the picnic.  I am thinking and exercising some level of restraint which is better then I seem to have been doing lately.  Thank goodness I didn't like the beer and I drank only a couple sips of the diet soda I got.  I did have a few bites of pie and then tossed it in the trash.  I got home and was at 120.  I went #2 and dropped 119.5.  Ideally, by the time I go to bed I will be down to 119 and then back to 118.5 by tomorrow.  Pretty please.  I really do not want to have to do that dang exercise video tomorrow.  I'm going to be doing sit ups and leg lifts throughout the night at random just to keep moving a little bit.

It just kills me that I am struggling so much right now.  I am fighting to stay at 118 and have 120 glaring at me anytime I slip up even a little.  Hubby leaves next week.  I have some hard core restricting planned and maybe one outing for Thursday but that's it.  I might do laxies tomorrow just to kick start the week.