This Dinner Business Is So Annoying

Yesterdays Eats:

• Breakfast:  PBJ, Coffee
• Lunch:  Pretzels
• Snack: Light Yoplait Yogurt
• Dinner: 1 Carne Asada Taco
• Snack:  1/2 slice left over wedding cake

I am so tired of this act of gathering and making provisions for food.  Dinner time rolls around and sometimes I feel bad that I'm not cooking something for hubby.  I will again at some point but I just haven't felt like it.  I don't think he feels like it either and I know he doesn't expect me to.  I just get annoyed that there is an expectation of dinner.  Is that weird?  I just want to eat a ham sandwich on sandwich thins bread every day for the next week if I want to.  Or string cheese and pretzels.  Or, a cheese casadilla.  Or a can of soup.  Two bread sticks.  Or nothing if that's what ends up happening.  It's like dinner time is this big deal when it really doesn't have to be.  Who really cares.  I just want something that tastes good, is easy, and ideally doesn't make me feel like too much of a pig.  I can save the full meal for going out to eat if/when that ever occurs.  I've never really enjoyed cooking as a youngster at home and my whole trying to starve myself thing in the past was not really conducive to learning.  I'm not into making a variety of foods or having balanced meals.  I enjoy good food but I could really take it or leave it.  Granted after weeks of this if I haven't gone to a restaurant in between at some point it will get a little old and I'll start getting hungry and be looking for something more substantial but I could carry on for a while without caring and then be ready to go right back to the sandwich.  Cooking dinner not only feeds one at night but provides left overs for lunch the next day and I could really do without either.  I don't even need left overs because I don't eat a typical lunch.  Poor hubby always has to try to figure out what he's going to eat for lunch and I actually like it that I don't have that problem.  It makes life a whole lot easier-and cheaper. 

If I were alone then it wouldn't be an issue.  Today I would probably go home and eat 2 left over bread sticks from Friday.  Not the most healthy.  Full of carbs no doubt.  But it's simple and satisfies my craving without having to do this whole full blown meal thing.  "I'll just take the sides please."  I can eat the same thing over and over too.  But hubby will want something "real."  He doesn't always which is nice but he is normal and so he can't go an entire week with just eating bits of whatever here and there.  He was starving yesterday so we went to a Mexican place and got some food.  I was just going to have a sandwich.

I looked in the freezer last night to see what kind of meat we had and even thought about what I might cook with it but it was late and I never got around to searching for a recipe on the Internet.  Cooking also means making sure you have all of those silly ingredients the recipe requires and running out to the grocery store to get them if you don't.  After work I simply do not feel like it and menu planning ahead for the week to make sure we have ingredients ahead of time hasn't happened.  I am very organized and could really see myself doing a great job of organizing this whole dinner business but but I just don't want to be bothered with it.  I have a new episode of one of my fav shows to watch and I'd rather just come home, grab those two bread sticks, eat while I watch and call it a day.

For hubby I want to try to do better.  I want to be a good wifey.  I've gotten pretty good at controlling portions at home so I think I'll be OK there.  Even though sometimes it's hard 'cause everything hubby makes is so dang good it tastes like it came out of  a restaurant and I hate it that it makes it difficult to get into that "restriction mode" like I want to be.  If only I could just somehow get motivated to put a little effort into it.  We'll see.