Blame It On The Pizza

Yesterday's Eats:

• Breakfast:  PBJ, Coffee
• Lunch:  Wheat Thins
• Snack:  Yoplait, Granola Bar
• Dinner:  Pizza (3 slices)

I live in fear of what the scale will say every day.  Right now I have been maintaining my weight despite my laziness and mistakes but I fear the day when doing the bare minimum will no longer be enough.  I am afraid of the day that my weight spirals out of control and I have to starve and exercise like a demon just to maintain.  If I have to starve and exercise I will, but I better see results dammit.  The worst thing ever is to knock yourself out doing everything right and not loose or barely maintain.  I want to be 115 but I haven't done what it takes to get there.  I have totally lost my edge.

The Laker game was on so hubby wanted pizza which among many other things is one of my weaknesses.  I was HUNGRY.  The weird thing is that even after I ate the pizza I was still hungry and my stomach actually started growling.  This gave me hope that maybe the pizza would not show up on the scale in the morning but of course that was not to be the case.

I put on jeans today that I had stopped wearing a while ago because they had gotten too big and were sliding down my butt and sagging.  At first it made me nervous because it seemed like they were a good fit but now I can tell they are still a little loose.  Maybe not as loose as before?  I am scared that I have totally lost control and won't be able to get it back.  There is a baseball game tonight, dinner with the 'rents tomorrow and brunch with the hubby on Sunday and my wedding next month.  What am I supposed to do?