The Po Folks

This is a stressful time for me financially. It starts with mom's B day in March and Dad's in April. Then, I have Hubby's B day, Mother's Day, and my sister's B day all within a week of each other!! Then Father's Day a month later. It's almost as bad as Christmas. This on top of car registration due next month which is $250 and my half of the timeshare fees at $97! Additionally, I did allow myself some shopping for my B day and spent about $150 in all. I used credit cards to get my discounts and those bills are probably going to be due sometime in May. I really want to get something nice for hubby but money is so tight right now.

On top of ALL of that I still don't have a renter for my condo. We are moving next month and while I am very excited there is always something that won't allow me to enjoy this whole process and it usually has to do with money. Hubby is 100% excited. He doesn't worry about money and he also doesn't have a condo and an extra mortgage like I do. Or my tiny paycheck! I am seriously going to have to consider getting a second job if I either can't rent it or if I have to rent it for much less then I owe monthly. Which will totally suck because I am tired as it is and I really enjoy my weekends off. Thank goodness I've been able to pay all the household bills for right now so that hubby can continue putting most of his paycheck into savings so we have money for our wedding and new house stuff.

I'd really just love to live and and enjoy life but frankly it's simply not possible when the worry of money lurks around every corner and colors everything you do or don't do. I am just so tired. So worn out by the stress of it all.

Hubby wants to go out and do something this weekend and I really don't because I just don't have any money to spare. When I was single I was able to just stay home a lot and not have to consider that there is someone else that actually might want to do something other then sit in the house. I can't spend a dime on anything but gas until payday which thankfully is finally coming up next week.

What really sucks is that there is no end in sight. There are always going to be work and bills and limitations and stress over money. Oh how nice it would be to be rich. Can you imagine? If the car gets busted you can afford your deductible. When a new gadget comes out if you want it you buy it. Not limited to the selection of books at the public library you can go to the store and pick up all the newest best sellers. If you loose your phone or it just stops working you can just go get another one. If you feel stressed out or your skin starts looking dry you can run off to the spa or even better just book a vacation to Bali. The drinks at the restaurant are $12 bucks and the filet mignon is $35 bucks. You order it without thinking twice. When your mom or hubby's birthday comes up you buy them whatever they want. For your parents anniversary you can send them on a weekend getaway. Feeling like a mani/pedi, a new hairdo or a new pair of shoes? Go out and get it! If there is a new play or show in town you buy tickets and you go see it even if they cost $100 bucks. If you want to go visit your sister you just go without having to plot and plan and juggle your money and vacation time at work to try to make it. The baggage fees are ridiculous but if you need to check 2 bags then so be it. Last minute trip to Vegas? Sure why not? When it's time for new glasses you don't put it off for just one more year and you buy a whole years supply of contacts instead of just 6 months to make them stretch. If you want to take a dance class, acting class or any class for that matter you just sign up and enjoy. If you want to go back to school you just pay the fees and go. Do what you love and love what you do. Sounds great to me.

Imagine not having to drag yourself to work every day just to earn enough money to pay bills. Retirement is a long way off. Oh just 20 something years (WTF) and I am still trying to figure out exactly what money I'm supposed to subsist on in my 60's so I don't have to work myself into the grave. I wonder if they feel sorry for us po' folks living in our little houses, sitting in a cubicle all day, dreaming of retirement, getting all excited about Red Lobster, going to Hawaii on vacation once a year, and shopping at Target for clothes.

I'm not stupid or ungrateful and I don't even necessarily want to be rich but I would like to be comfortable and free of the stress that comes with scraping by. I know there are more important things then having money and that money doesn't buy happiness. I know that it could always be worse. I am relatively lucky to have what I do and know that there are others who get by on a whole lot less. There are handicapped people who can't work and sick people who have to worry about if they are going to die tomorrow. There are people who don't have a place to live and others who are all alone in this world. I know this and I am thankful for my wonderful family and everything that I have. But sometimes, I just get tired.