Tapas

I ordered sliders. There were 3 of them. Just plain old beef on ciabatta bread. No extra sauces to add any extra fat. It came with a small side of salad. I did not order wine or beer but instead chose to drink water and I had no dessert. All day I had been thinking about this outing and how I wanted to be good and not let it ruin my progress. I was very conscious of my stomach and every bite and at no point did I ever get too full so I think I did well. At one point I thought about not eating the 3rd. I am kind of mad at myself that I couldn't resist but I wasn't feeling too full so I went' for it. Aside from this meal I had only my pbj, coffee, RF triscuits, 3 chocolates and 2 red vines. Not bad. It was strange being out on a Tuesday night but I had a good time talking loud and socializing. I'm glad I went.

Mary was there. Tall, effortlessly thin and stylish as usual. There I was in what I thought was cool in my skinny jeans and slouch boots but it paled in comparison to her chic perfectly accessorised skinny jeans and pumps. I just don't seem to have the knack for putting it all together. I have never been the most fashionable or the thinnest but I certainly try.

When talk turns to jobs in group situations with people that I don't know too too well I usually just keep my mouth shut. I dread the moment where they ask me what I do and if I don't have to say it I am glad. Hubby's friends and their wives are pretty successful. They have careers not jobs. Most of them work for a pharmaceutical company. A couple of them are even research scientist types. Usually, if I must I just say where I work and and don't actually mention what I do. Sometimes they realize that I didn't exactly answer the question but they usually don't ask and I don't elaborate. I don't want them to know that their friends wife is a loser. They sure do spend a lot of money. I guess because they have it. I've noticed that they will meet up at nicer spots sometimes although this one was low key. They got different beers, different wines, and ordered extras. Not me. I stick to the basics. They split the bill three ways evenly excluding the husband who was having a B-day and his wife without regard to who got what. Me and my friends don't roll that way. We meet up at the same cheapo spot and each pays their own.

It dawned on me why hubby does not have as many concerns about the new mortgage and money etc. It's because he actually plans to make more money. He is going to be getting his B.A. He works for a great company with promotion opportunities where he didn't even have to start at the bottom. He is a reservist so he gets paid when he does his weekend drills and he will soon be getting GI bill money once he starts school. He has that thing they call potential. I on the other hand have to plan my life based on what I am earning now because it's not likely to go up very much and I do not have potential. I will get my yearly raises of about $130 extra per month but there is no real opportunity for advancement. This is it for me.

It actually does help me to feel less stressed about the mortgage when I think about the fact that his income will go up. I hate to be a leach but technically we are a team so his doing well helps us both. Not everyone has to struggle for every dime like me. On the other hand what a loser am I for not being on the same level.