I did OK until I didn't

Friday at happy hour I didn't over do it. Some cheese with the tortilla chips and veggies which is free. I spent $5 bucks on two glasses of wine. Cheap eats. That's why I like it there. So, I woke up Saturday morning still at 116. Score!!

Saturday we went to lunch with friends. I ordered a dinner salad with fat free dressing. I went crazy with the chips and salsa and had some water. I came home and knew I was in trouble because I was 117.5 and hubby's friends had invited us to dinner for cabbage and corned beef so I wasn't quite sure how to deal with that.

I didn't have much of an appetite when I got there. I didn't want to be rude so I had a very small helping of the corned beef, cabbage, and a few roasted potatoes. I also had a little bit of the bread and a glass of wine. No excuse for the two cookies I ate. I didn't need any of this. Had I been home I would not have eaten a thing and been fine so this extra little outing really messed me up food wise. I didn't overdo it because I wasn't hungry but after a big lunch ANYTHING was extra and could prove disastrous. If I had laxatives I would have taken them. I dug through my cupboard and the only thing I could find was some Dulcolax which I think are water pills. I'd thrown away the box. So, I took the last two of those along with 7 Metamucil.

So, this morning I woke up at 117 AFTER a dump. Which, by the way I have done daily in the morning for three days in a row. Hubby went to the grocery store and so desperate was I about this weight gain I told myself I would run in place until he got home. It ended up being about 12 minutes. I just felt this need to burn up some calories. I doubt it did anything at all but it helped me feel a little bit better. I am so out of shape it's pathetic.

I feel so mad at myself. More mad at myself then I have been in a while after a weight gain. I guess I am just finally getting pissed off at myself for being so out of control. I also get so mad at these darn functions that throw off my diet. I think I could have been fine if I hadn't had that extra bit of food.

For breakfast this morning I had fruit. Even though hubby brought home a donut to tempt me with. We are doing nachos again for dinner. I am hoping that eating reasonably today and into next week will drop me down again. I do start taking BC my pills today again which have not been too much of a factor surprisingly because the ones I used to take really used to be but you never know.

I'm hungry.