6 Days Later

Six days after hitting the dreaded 118 mark I woke up today took a healthy dump. Thank goodness...as those are so few and far between. I was very happy to see 116.5 after that. The beautiful 116's!! I have been doing a little better food wise. Not as good as I could be but more conscious of trying to watch what I put into my mouth. If I could be more regular I KNOW that would help me out a lot. They didn't have Activia at the grocery store we went to but I will try to get some this week.

Yesterday in the morning I had an egg and cheese sandwich for breakfast and for dinner I ate this beef that hubby made with some white rice. This beef was soooo tasty. In between I had some carrots and some fat free candies AND some tortilla chips. I am such a freaking pig. I cannot believe how much I eat now compared to the old days. It's crazy.

Yesterday morning I woke up with the urge to write. I have been sort of working on this sort of book for a while. I just call it a story because to say book is way too ambitious. It's a story about what I wish would actually happen to me so it's kind of fun to write. I just have a hard time focusing and DOING it sometimes. I don't know how to write dialogue back and forth between characters either. I can't wait until we move. I can go into my backyard with my lap top on a sunny day and write. Or, I can go into one of the extra rooms away from hubby and the TV and write. Right now my living space is just not doing anything for me but causing me stress. It's not a real excuse. I have been NOT writing for a while but right now even when the urge hits me my surroundings quickly kill it.

I was feeling so lovey dovey with hubby....like usual. He is such an awesome hubby. I just let all of my irritation about clutter get me all angry and bitter inside and it is really quite ridiculous. I am at least glad that I recognize that it's me and so I can make a conscious effort not to take it out on him. For some random reason he woke up Saturday and put his clothes away and did dishes. When he cleans up or helps around the house I feel loved. He always cooks but keeping things neat is just not his strong point. There are 5 love languages and that is the one that speaks to me most. I think being with an ex hubby who was so incredibly lazy and messy has scarred me. I used to be so bitter with him. There were other issues of course but because the foundation of our relationship was so cracked I ended up sort of despising him for it. I am so glad that I got OUT of that marriage. We were oil and water. With hubby it's so different. We laugh and enjoy each other just doing nothing. He can be careless when it comes to cleaning up and putting his stuff away. He gets on my nerves sometimes and I KNOW I must get on his....but it's not enough to be an issue. I know he is the one for me whereas with the ex I just felt stuck.

I am hoping I can stay in the 116's this week. I just had coffee and pbj so inevitably I have gone back up to 117 or so but hopefully it will come down again.