The Damage Is Done

Days on end of eating recklessly has done it's damage as expected. I feel fat and horrible. Hell, I am fat. Now the work begins. Yesterday I restricted fairly well. Some fat free candies, shared popcorn, ham and cheese sandwich and 1/2 potato. By the time I went to bed my stomach was hurting a bit from hunger. I woke up at the same weight though. This was what I was afraid of. Loosing this time around was so easy and I just had to go and mess it up with my lack of self control. It's sickening really.

New Years Eve was my last hurrah. Hubby and I went out to dinner. I said to hell with it same as I've kind of been saying for the last week or so and ordered what I wanted. The only difference is that instead of hating myself while doing it this time I resigned myself to my piggish ways and just enjoyed it. When we got home from the airport the scale said 117 and I knew I still had this dinner to eat. So, how much worse could it get. Really? I ordered the Bibb salad with Blue Cheese crumbles and vinaigrette dressing. I savored the 7 oz fillet Mignon and gold rush garlic mashed potatoes. I drank my champagne and moaned in pleasure as I ate my lava cake desert. The day of reckoning would come on the scale the next day and I would deal with it then.

The bill was $88 bucks!! And I paid!! Hubby paid for just about EVERYTHING on our trip and even though I can't really afford it I just went ahead and did it. I want to treat him. I want to contribute. He is going to be going a month without a paycheck since he won't be going back to work until mid Jan.

We were so tired from traveling we didn't make it to midnight. We tried though. I woke up on New Years day and weighed in at 117. I wrote it down in my planner and have vowed to do what it takes to shave off this extra unwanted 2.5 pounds. I have already told hubby that I am going to be on a very strict diet so that I can cleanse my body of all of this over eating.

You would think that after a decadent steak dinner I would at least be able to take a decent dump but nope. Two days later and nothing. I have really got to do something about this issue.

Other then the food situation the trip was great! Hubby and I travel well together. His family is so nice. His dad is so cool. Everyone warned me about his mom and I know she can be smothering but I really like her. They also said that I seem like such a nice girl. I like to think I am.

Every where I went his relatives said "Oh my goodness, you are so skinny." Do you think I felt skinny? Absolutely not