Day 8: More Progress

Yesterday I dropped to 116 and this morning was pleasantly surprised and happy to have dropped to 115.5. I didn't expect to loose on 2 consecutive days. Yesterday was a long day. I worked all day and then had a hair appointment after work so I didn't get home until about 7:30pm.

This is what I ate:

• Breakfast: Starbucks Reduced Fat Turkey/Cheese breakfast sandwich. [I LOVE these and usually only let myself get them when I have gift cards-which I do! I knew it would be a long day so it was a good morning to eat one]
• Work Snacks: RF Cheese It's, Yoplait Yogurt
• Dinner: Salad with RF Ranch, 1 boiled egg, bacon bits, and canned chix. 2 pieces of bread. [hubby made the salad for me and it was yummy]
• Snack: string cheese

I am still trying to figure out why I've been able to maintain under 118 so well. Even over the holidays I topped out at 117 when 118 used to seem like a struggle. I think the key is that I am not starving myself. I really do. If you had told me 5 years ago that I could be at this weight and still eat actual food I would not have believed it. Granted, my food intake is below what most people consider to be reasonable and some would argue that I am practically starving but it's usually enough for me and it seems to be keeping my weight stable. There are days where I feel ravenous and get so irritated over this ridiculous concern over every thing I put into my mouth. Overall I've accepted hunger as a part of my life and at times welcome it because it means I am not overeating. I need to be thin and if it means I have to go hungry or obsess then so be it. That is just the price I have to pay. If I have to choose between food and sanity or hungry, diet obsessed and thin I choose thin every time. Of course that is my slightly neurotic mind doing the talking but still.

The biggest fear about gaining for me aside from the obvious result of being fat is that I won't be able to do it again. What if I've lost my touch? What if my body refused to go down again? It is such a scary thing to think about the struggle it might take and the possibility that it may not happen again.

So far so good with the post holiday eating recovery plan. It feels good to be at or below 116 even though I am still 1 pound up from where I was before our trip. We are supposed to be meeting one of hubby's relatives for dinner tomorrow night but now that I've got my groove back I think I will be able to handle it OK.

This first week back at work flew by thank goodness. I am so glad the weekend is here.