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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Is It Sick?

Is it sick that I like it that no matter how hard I squeeze my legs together I can't make my thighs touch? I wish that I were naturally thin. Then maybe I wouldn't obsess over things like calories and whether or not there is a space between my legs. Either that, or I wish I didn't care. But alas, I do. Is it sick that when I am fascinated by skinny women and skinny models? Is it sick that I actually like it when I can see the bones in my chest and my shoulders. I actually like the appearance of jutting bone and knee caps that stick out further then the thigh.

The last time I was at this weight I was doing exercise videos excessively and hardly eating any "real" food. I wonder why I am able to do it now? I am definitely eating less calories then is recommended but I am eating. And, no exercise to speak of except yoga once this year. Was that last month or the month before?

It's funny how no matter what I hardly feel that I look any different when I look in the mirror. I have noticed some of my cloths are a bit looser but I don't think I look any different.

EATS
PBJ, Coffee
Triscuits
Cheese (3), Crackers
EZ Mac light
Light Ice cream
116

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