11 Weeks In // 2.4 Pounds

I'm 11 weeks in to this whole rebuilding my metabolism project. Over the weekend I kind of went balls to the walls with my eating.  I'm not really sure why.  My restraint has been pretty solid over the last 3 months since I'm not constantly starving.  Part of it was circumstance.  Part of it was kind of wanting to see how bad it could get so I can stop fearing it.  Eating normally is also what I'm "supposed" to be doing after all so when the opportunity presented itself I just went for it.  Friday was happy hour at the place where I eat Cheese Cubes and Tortilla Chips for dinner and usually have a couple glasses of wine.  This after working a conference for work that provided a continental breakfast and full sit down dinner.  For breakfast I kept it to a mini muffin and coffee.  Dinner was grilled chicken breast.  I kept a lid on the volume of sides but I did eat a dinner roll and a brownie for dessert.  Ordinarily, I would have been so so upset and angry that I was in a situation that had me-heaven forbid-eating during the day on a night I was planning to go out.  But I dealt with it because eating like a normal human being is just the in thing for me right now.  Then Saturday I gorged on bread and a hefty chunk of lasagna for dinner.  We had a double date with my parents.  By Sunday the scale went up to 1 freaking 27.  Whoa!!  Of course I was crawling out of my skin.  Sunday was a wonderfully healthy grilled chicken breast dinner and time to get back on track.

I did Yoga on Sunday and 30 Day Shred on Monday.  11 weeks in I figured was timely enough for me to do a 1 hour heavy cardio elliptical work out so that's what I did on Tuesday.  I burned 590 calories but I made sure to keep the intake up so total cals were 1,438 of healthy goodness and my net was 848.  Which is a little low, but at least I tried to make up the difference.  I was rewarded with a 0.8 weight loss and here I sit at a still very disgusting 124.6.  11 weeks ago I was 122.2 which is only a 2.4 lb weight gain eating a ton more food then I had been so I suppose I can't complain too much.  Yes, I can.  Some of my favorite jeans don't fit and I feel gross!!  I was supposed to have a hair appointment today which meant no work out but my appointment got pushed back a day so I will do the 30 Day Shred level 3 when I get home.  Might as well get an extra day of working out in. 

I am so ready to try to drop weight again.  I am so over feeling so fat.  When I look at my butt and thighs I am totally, totally disgusted.  I feel so huge. I have a trip to Las Vegas planned on November 8th and we are going to Maui on December 1st.  I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to be closer to 118 by then.  I do not want to go on vacation at 125 lbs because I do not know what the hell I will be faced with when I get back.  I also do not want to look like a fatso in my bikini pics.  I will not wish for any lower if I can get back there.  I don't want to screw up again.  118-120 lbs is my new goal.  I'm just not exactly sure how or when to go about getting there.  For this minute I'm working on staying between 1,000-1,300.  Ideally, closer to 1,200 for this week to keep it safe.  Then I'll just take it day by day from there.  I have my Nutritionist appointment on Monday which is perfectly at the 12 week mark.  I'm keeping notes of questions that I want to ask so I don't forget anything.