First of All, I Am Enormous!!

I'm back and feeling incredibly fat.  What else is new?  When I put on jeans I'm always worried if they will even fit.  That's how huge I feel.  The trip was fun.  Mostly relaxing and hanging out with friends and family in the Maryland and Virginia area.  It wasn't the hectic pace of our Europe trip so that was nice.  We stayed with his mom 2 nights, his dad 1 night and at his friends house for the last 3 nights.

I about freaked out staying at his friends house.  I'm super finicky.  I'm kind of OCD about cleanliness and things like that so I'm not always very comfortable staying in other people's homes.  His mom's house was fine.  I feel very comfortable there.  His dad's house was so, so.  It was clean but I could see a lot of areas of the bathroom where I can tell he doesn't clean it well.  And while I know his mom probably cleaned for us I'm just not so sure that his dad did.  Also, for some reason the type of carpet he had just felt icky.  Hubby's friends house was the worst!!  He's clean.  I can tell that.  The bathroom was clean and had it not been for the dog I would have felt fine.  Dogs and most animals in general gross me out.  I'm not a dog person.  Mj couldn't tell the dog stunk but I could.  It was even worse right when he came in after a walk.  I was so grossed out.  They also let the dog up on the couch and it grossed me out to know that I was sitting where the dog had been.  I'm not a dog person so these things are probably very normal for dog owners but for me it was very anxiety provoking.  I cringed when my bare feet were on the carpet.  When I had socks on there was dog hair on the bottom.  I ended up busting out my house slippers the last day and felt a little better.  There was dog hair scattered about that pretty much can't be helped.  Not a ton but enough that when we went to bed that night allergies that I didn't even know I had flared up.  I got all watery eyed and my nose was itchy.  It's happened once before when I slept in a bed that unbeknownst to me a dog had been all over.  Yuck.  The friend's dog is small and doesn't have a ton of fur but he's loosing his coat right now.  I watched the girlfriend and the guy literally pick piles of hair off of him while the dog sat in their laps.  I was totally grossed out that when the girl did it at first she just tossed the handful of fur onto the couch.  What??  Then, I think she noticed it later and was like, okay there is a giant hairball sitting here so she did pick it up and trash it.   Anyways, help me understand.  I don't want to be grossed out by pets I just am.  So, you take your dog for a walk.  He walks all over the dirty ground and poops and pees.  Then, that same butt that pooped and pees sits all over the carpet and on the couch.  How is that clean?  The wet noses and mouths are also kind of gross to me.  This dog is basically inside except for walks but dogs that are outside a lot have really got to be dirty just because they are out in bushes and dirt and all kinds of things.  If the dog is one that hangs is mouth open and drools here and there I about want to throw up.  I really wish I were not so OCD.  It's so annoying to be constantly worried about things like this.  Hubby had no problem at all making himself comfortable everywhere we go.  Hubby is friends with this other couple who have 2 little dogs that smell and when we go over there and they jump on me and put their wet noses on me I can't stand it. Sorry if I have offended pet owners.  I just can't get past the germs, dirt, smells and loose hairs that I associate with pets. 

I actually didn't start out so bad food wise.  I had a healthy egg white sandwich at the airport on a layover and then I managed to skip out on dinner that night since they just ate stuff out of his mom's house.  The next night I ordered a salad when we went out to dinner.  Good, good.  Hubby made cookies at his mom's house and I was eating those.  These chocolate cookies are THE BEST!  That upped my daily calories of course but things didn't get really bad until Saturday when we were with hubby's friend once we made it to Maryland. That morning we stopped at Cracker Barrel so I had pancakes.  We got there and the girlfriend wanted me to have some blended drink with her that she was making so I did.  I think it was a Margarita type drink.  Then, his friend and his girlfriend wanted us to go to this restaurant for appetizers BEFORE making dinner at home.  Not sure why it's necessary to do that but I went with it.  They like seafood so there were seafood only app's ordered so as not to leave me out hubby ordered a wood fired Pizza.  I ate about half.  Then, hubby's friend and girlfriend made dinner.  Fried Chicken and Mac & Cheese.  They made chicken tenders for me specially because they know I don't like bones.  It was so good!  I ate that and then to top it all off I ate some of the cake that we brought over from the Amish shop.  Then to top that off I had some wine.  My calories for the day were off the hook.  Like 2,200!!!  I NEVER eat that much in a day.  Like that is sickening.  I was stuffed but it was just like to hell with it.  These things were all just coming at me and I didn't say no.

After that I didn't do so terribly but I'm sure the damage was already done.  After we got back I immediately went to the gym.  Even after a 5 hour flight that left at 6:30 am I had to.  Then, I ate a PBJ for dinner.  We were going to a Baseball game and I was so not feeling eating out anymore so that was good.  Hubby couldn't resist getting some pizza and I had three glorious bites.

I didn't spend a whole lot of money.  I even tried to shop a bit in Georgetown but couldn't find anything.  A lot of the shops are too expensive anyways.  We didn't do hotel so expenses were just rental car, gas and food.  Hubby spent the bulk of the money but I did pitch in here and there.

I feel so disgusting it's not even funny.  Here we go.  Once and for all I have got to do something about how disgusting I've become.  My but feels good.  I feel as though I can feel my butt and belly jigging around.  I have really let myself go.  I want to be that skinny girl I felt like before.

Today is Day 1 of juicing on Naked Juice.  I'm doing 1-3 days depending.  I will be going out on Saturday eve for dinner and a movie so I have to have a salad that night.  Sunday June 16th is the official start of my Advocare detox cleanse and high protein and veggie diet.  I will do my first 30 day shred exercise either Sunday or Monday.  My sister is supposed to give me the video on Friday.  I'm going to really need to retrain my brain to reach for veggies instead of crackers of which I mindlessly munch on and can't stop.  I really need to work on this food addiction.  I'm working on my meal plan and calorie goals.  I plan to go grocery shopping for anything else I need this weekend.  My goal is to not allow myself to get to hungry.  I know that is part of my downfall.

Start weight is 123 as of today's first morning weigh in since vacation.  I'm planning to post food pics and calories to try to help myself stay on track.  Kitty and I are both in this together!!  And all of you out there struggling to reach our goals like I am.  We can do it!!