Hangin' In

Hanging in there at 117.6.  My first full day after vacation was October 12th and 5 1/2 weeks later I've only lost 3.4 of the 4 pounds that I gained in 2 weeks.  Wow.  That's pretty bad.  It's not the greatest number but I am grateful because there were days I thought I would never see 117's again.  Even maintenance is welcome when you have seen so many mornings with a gain.  Losing weight is so slow and so hard for me.  It's a mental game as much as it is physical.  I have not worked out in about 8 days.  I'm just not feeling it this week.  The holidays, it getting darker earlier and the colder weather have all combined to kill my motivation.  I will be going next week for some hard cardio that's for sure so I'm not going to worry about it right now.  The longer I go restricting the better my willpower gets and the more accustomed I am to hunger.  It's like a constant dull aching companion that is mostly always there.  I try to chase it away with my little snacks, water and gum.  Most of my days are 800-900 calorie days with a few 1K to 1,200 days thrown in but the below 1k days way outnumber the higher ones.  So.  Thanksgiving tomorrow.  Not sure exactly how this is going to go down.  I NEVER plan to over do it and often do anyways so I'm not making any promises I've been known not to keep.  The scale is funny sometimes.  This morning after my shower I weighed in again as I sometimes do and it read 116 lbs.  I wanted it to be true so badly but I knew it wasn't.  I did my little trick with stepping on with my two pound weight and half stepping on a couple times before applying my actual weight and it went back to 117.6.  The other scale never wavered from the original amount. 

Hubby has some things planned for us to bring to my parents house and I'm going to be the helper while he makes it tonight.  Dreading it.  I so hate being in the kitchen.  I've also put off making my ham crescent rolls for as long as possible and will be making those for dinner tonight along with some veggies.  Hubby has been gone around dinner time quite a bit over the last couple of weeks so I've gotten off easy.  Last night was a PBJ with some snacks on the side for dinner.  The night before it was just some snacks.

It's so weird.  I've totally lost touch with my family.  My older sister doesn't call me.  I don't call her.  I don't post much on FB but I comment on her posts every now and then.  We just had a FB conversation not 5 minutes ago but that's it.  My mom and I haven't spoken since October 30th and the you can't drive conversation.  We've just exchanged a few texts.  I saw my sister the last weekend in October but haven't seen or spoken to her since.  I'm not sure what to make of it.  They have all spoken to and seen each other because my mom has to see her grandchild every 2 weeks.  My sister has the much prized only grandchild that I'll never be providing.  It's a 50 minute drive to the 'rents house and a 3 hour drive to my sister's house so the meet up spot is usually my mom's.  I didn't go up there last Monday when my sister was there.  We had a Monday off but I just wanted to spend it at home.  Hubby keeps asking me so have you talked to your sister or have you talked to your mom?  And usually I'd have said yes but lately it's just  no.  Well, I'll be seeing them all tomorrow at mom's house and I know it'll be fine.  This is just the first time I've ever lost touch with them like that...pretty much ever.

It's a ghost town here at work.  Most people took an extra day or two or three off.  At least that means traffic is light.  I was so tired that I went to bed pretty early last night.  I was in bed by 9pm and well rested this morning but the tiredness is hitting me again right now.  Three hours to go.  Is it 5pm yet??  I'm bored and don't feel like working.