I'm Getting There

 I stepped on the scale this morning.  "Oh, my god, oh my god, oh my god!"  112.5 lbs.  Finally.  Oh, goodness how long I have been working and trying to get closer to my magic number?  I'm not quite there yet but I have not seen 112's in forever and a day.  Things got really bad at the end of November.  The number went up and I could not get it down again.  It was the holidays and I had absolutely no control whatsoever.  A month later the numbers were up to 116 and that's where I started out in the New Year.  116 freaking pounds.  I was finally ready to commit to trying to lose and it seemed like nothing was happening.  One step forward four steps back.  Gym, 800 calorie days, 2 a day work outs, 600 calorie burn elliptical work outs and still barely any movement.  Posting those weekly numbers without any progress really sucked.  It literally took me this whole month to lose 3.5 lbs!!  I'm not even going to technically say that's my weight until it sticks.  I didn't drink much water yesterday so that could be part of it but I at least know I'm close.  I'm getting there.

Jeez Louise!  My body is so, so stubborn.  I think losing weight is hard for me because I am already at a weight that is less then where my body probably wants to be.  I've been staying in control of my food.  I hardly ever eat chocolate or sweets.  The jolly ranchers have been keeping my mouth busy after dinner when I might normally want it and there has only been a couple times that something sweet has been floating around the office.  I eat dinner with hubby when I have to and skip it and eat a snack instead when I can get away with it.  The dinners are very healthy though...Chicken and Rice or Couscous.  I've been sticking with the gym.  I've been allowing myself a day miss of not drinking water but no more then that.  I try to get in at least 12 oz in at work because it gets harder and harder for me to drink liquids as the day goes on.  Technically I should have more and some days I do but at least I have my minimum.  I've continued with my Fiber 1.  The bowel movements are coming on a more regular basis.  My body finally seems to be responding but it's taken way longer then I wanted it to.  And I had a feeling that would happen.  I have no choice but to be patient and consistent and put up with the slow weight loss because that's the way my body operates.  I stopped weighing myself at the gym a while ago 'cause I hated the numbers I was seeing.  I decided to weigh in yesterday and it said 113.0.  It's a balance scale but it's gotta be a mistake because when I got home my scale read 2.5 higher.

I got to my goal weight last year around this time.  I did really good maintaining until November.  I think I just get really tired of being good.  That combined with the holidays food frenzy really blew it for me.  I'm trying to be very careful.  I don't have to worry about dinner tonight or Friday night because hubby will be gone at dinner time.  The next challenge will be Super Bowl Sunday.  I'm going to a party.  There is a potluck at work Friday but I'm not too worried about that.  I can eat a little and I won't even have dinner to worry about.  I'm so close to where I want to be and I do not want to start all over.

Comments:

Thank you to everyone who commented on my HOA nightmare.  It's so crazy.  One of the things I love about my anonymity here is that I was able to post that whole horrible debacle and not be afraid.  Seeking Something-thanks for sharing your little story as well.  You don't know how nice it was to hear that you dealt with some BS of your own at work no less and you got through it.   Yeah, some of you could have told me I was a stupid crook and that's what I get but thankfully you didn't.  I can't tell anyone aside from hubby and my close family so it felt good to be able to "tell" someone and get it out.  Like, okay I did this and I'm just putting it out there.  I'm starting to feel a little better already.  Once I knew that my hubby still loved me and wasn't upset with me somehow it almost didn't even matter so much that my neighbors or the HOA might think I'm crazy or hate me.  They are not perfect and neither am I.  My hubby loves me and that alone will help me get through this and hold my head up without feeling ashamed.  The situation is not resolved yet and I'll just have to deal with it.

K:  Have you ever considered talking to him about your sex life? 
Two posts ago I wrote about how our sex life is just about non existent.  Yes, I have considered talking to him about it and I will.  Actually, when we were in our dry spell before I said something and he just said kind of the same thing I've been thinking.  Busy, tired blah, blah, blah. I'm not too worried about it but I definitely will bring it up again at some point.  On the one hand I do feel like I can talk to him about anything and on the other hand it's kinda awkward.  Also, to be honest I don't miss it all that much.  Sex is very good with him it's just that I've never had much of a sex drive.  But I do need to get his side of it and see how he's feeling about us not having sex.