Mannequin

Monday:
Eats:  619 cals
Exercise:  630

Tuesday:
Eats:  1,025 cals
Exercise:  588

I worked my butt off at the gym and it felt really good.  I did the Elliptical on Monday for an hour and on Tuesday I did elliptical for 45 minutes and ran for 15.  It paid off and I had a breakthrough this morning.  I saw 113.5 on the scale and that hasn't happened in a LONG time.  The lowest I've been able to manage is 114 and that was a while ago.  On Monday I came home after the gym and claimed I wasn't hungry.  I got grilled a bit about what I had eaten that day and he made me eat the last slice of lunch meat for some protein but I got away with my snack dinner.  As soon as I found out he'd be out on Tuesday night I knew I'd get away with it again.  He says, "you know I have to ask since I won't be here...what are you going to have for dinner?"  I said Quesadilla but didn't and he never asked about it that night.  He's a little more interested in what I'm eating then I'd hoped he would be since he started on his diet meal plan but I've been getting away with what I can.  Last night for dinner was string cheese, almonds and an apple.  I also had some jolly ranchers to keep my mouth busy for the rest of the night.  I've been really addicted to almonds lately.  I've managed to eat no more then 2 oz at a time but my goodness they are so delicious I want to eat the whole bag.  I don't know that the 113.5 will stick because I won't be working out today but the fact that I saw it at all is progress. 

There were donuts today at work and I ate one.  I have mixed feelings about that.  On the one hand I've been really really good lately with food and exercise and I removed a lunch snack to help compensate.  It's not that big of a deal.  It's when too much of that happens over a period of time that gets me in trouble and leads me to the other hand.  Willpower.  I wish I could get better at saying no.  I've definitely improved on eating moderately and not pigging out just 'cause it's there but generally if something I want is offered I will accept it.  The fact that there hasn't been too much opportunity for slip ups has worked in my favor BUT if I was better at saying no then I'd never have a problem no matter what food was around me.

I did some shopping over the weekend.  I got some really cute beige skinny jeans.  I try not to buy new pants when I'm at my thinner size because of my fear of not fitting into them at some point if I decide being skinny is too exhausting or my body quits cooperating.  They were only $18.99 though.  Turns out the mannequins in the Juniors department wear a 3 and that was the size that fit me.  Is it weird that I got excited to find out that I wear the same size as the Junior Mannequins? It might sound pathetic that it made me feel good to ask the sales lady to take the one size 3 off the mannequin so I could buy it because the other ones were to large. Being thin is one of the only things that makes me feel special so I take pleasure in moments like that.  Sounds a little pathetic but oh well; that's just the way it is.  I also bought some more work out wear.  Just a few new tops and bottoms.  It's probably been 10 years since I bought anything new but since I'm sticking with working out I figured it was about time.  I also finally broke down and took a pair of my designer jeans in for alterations.  They are a size 27 and they practically fall off of me.  What's the point of having these great jeans just sitting around in my closet?  I've already wasted years not being able to wear them.  I need them to fit NOW.  I'll worry about what happens if I get fat later.

Oh, and thanks for your lovely comments on the pic from last weeks post.