Pizza Party

Thank you everyone for all of your support on my last post.  I've been impatient and frustrated with not being able to lose that last pound again and the words of encouragement was helpful.  I have to remember that in the past it has gone down with time and take my own advice to just be patient.  Also, some great metabolism boosting ideas from Cally C and a reminder to watch what I'm eating more instead of just making sure it's under the calorie budget.  That could be why it's taking me longer to lose.  I'm a snacker and I like my candy and sweets.  Eating cleaner within that calorie budget would probably go a long way.  It still boggles my mind that I care so much about 1 single pound. 

On Saturday I did OK with my choices.  Or so I thought.  I had two slices of Veggie pizza.  Not bad for me.  I ate the first one, put my plate down and waited.  I wanted to pay attention to my fullness level.  Was I full?  Was eating another one stuffing myself?  I wasn't full and I wanted that second piece so I went for it and still didn't feel too full so I felt OK about it.  I ate 1/2 bread stick and literally just a few bites of the pasta.  I only had 1 glass of wine.  I had one piece of small cake and a scoop of light ice cream.  I don't consider that pigging out but it is more then I would normally be eating for a day.  I actually did get down to 112.5 on Friday and Saturday.  I even saw 112.0 before I left for the party Saturday.  I wasn't there long enough to even begin to hope that I would somehow not gain so that's basically flushed down the toilet.  I got home and was at 114.5.  I've seen that scary number before and not too long ago so it didn't have the impact that it did before.  I'm just tired.  Kind of over it I guess.  I didn't have the energy to fight it too much.  No emergency work out.  I just refused to go to bed until I saw 114.0.  I did some jumping jacks, sit ups, and leg lifts while I watched TV for the rest of the night and thankfully it did go down so I could sleep easier.  This morning seeing 113.5 was oddly a relief even though I'm sort of starting over.  Again.  At least it's not the 114 trigger point that really upsets me.  I started the day with a #2, did one that night and then again this morning.  Not sure how that is happening but I'm glad  because I was feeling a bit backed up lately.

I had a really good time hanging with my family.  My nephew is only 1 so of course he has no clue that it's even his party.  He's such a cutie and he's walking so good now.  We all just love that kid.  Not having grown up around family it's amazing to see just how loved the grand babies in the family are.  Dad did make a comment about my weight.  He says, are you losing weight?  I said, Nope I don't think so. Well, you are looking very slim he says.  So I said, "Well, thank you."  That's not a compliment he is quick to tell me and I ask why?  When someone says to another that they lost weight usually it is and he says well not for you because you could stand to gain a few pounds.  Hubby says I need to gain 6.  I don't get compliments about my weight anymore it seems.  It's hard for me to believe that I've crossed the line to where I look too skinny to compliment.  I do notice that my sister gets these wonderful comments about how she is looking good and has lost weight but I never do when clearly I am much smaller then she.  Oh well.  We had a really good time and as usual when it was time to go I wasn't quite ready.  I was super sleepy on the drive up that afternoon and the drive home at night.  I'm just overall tired.

I'll be in my jammies all day today

I'm too tired and lazy to go to the gym today.  I just can't do it.  I don't want to do it.  I was gone all day yesterday and I really just want to rest today so that's what I'm going to do.  I am going to take laxatives instead.  I haven't done this in a while but right now I just feel like I really need to.  I'm home, I'm alone and even if it's just water weight that I lose I need to see the number go down a bit, feel cleaned out and have a fresh start.   I'll eat two slices of left over pizza today because that's what I want and go to the gym tomorrow after work.  I'll still be around 1K today because that's basically all I'll get to eat.  I'm definitely bothered by the fact that I haven't made it back to 112 in a while but I think I'm over being upset about it.  For the moment at least.  I'm just too tired to freak out right now which is good because it's been exhausting.  Had I not done that party time eating I would probably be 112 right now because I was well on my way.  It will happen when I'm consistent so I'll just try to be patient and not freak out.  I want to be a good wife and get into the kitchen and cook.  I won't be eating it 'cause I'm going to have the pizza but if I don't do it today then I won't have time to do it until Thursday night and I thought it would be nice for hubby to have something to come home and eat on Monday when he gets back.  I just....don't....feel....like it.  But I think I'll go ahead and do it anyways.  I really haven't cooked in a while.  All I've done this morning is get up, watch my gymnastics recording, surf the net a little blog and I already feel like I need a nap.  In fact I'm going to go lay down after I take the meat out and take my laxatives.  It's just that kind of day.