I cried off and on all day on Thursday. I haven't cried so much and so hard in a really long time. I told hubby about my dire financial situation, he insisted that he was going to be depositing money into my account and that made me cry even harder. I feel like a failure. I may not make a lot of money but I have never had to ask anyone for help. I pride myself on being independent and getting by. It's what I've always done. I just can't believe I've found myself in this predicament even with all the meticulous budgeting and saving that I do. This condo is just really starting to take it's toll.
Friday I went to work with puffy eyes looking awful but determined to get answers. I called the property management company and left a message at 8am. I didn't get a call back so I called again. I got sent into voice mail and rather then leave another message to be ignored I called back and Jeff himself picked up. The guy who has been ignoring me. Basically, I'm not getting a rent check this month. The little check I got last month was actually issued in error. I won't be getting a check until the $2400 bill for expenses incurred after my tenant moved out is paid off. Nice of them to tell me. I knew of the existence of the bill but thought they would pursue small claims and if they lost then I'd get the bill. I did dispute the cleaning fee of $1,000 though. I told them I am appalled that they paid someone $1,000 to clean a 500 square foot studio without consulting me. As nasty as it was I'd have done it myself rather then pay that much and I'm certain I could have found someone to do it for less. I feel ripped off and taken advantage of. He agreed and said he'd talk to someone about it and see if they can't do something about it. I got a call about an hour later and was told that they'd reduce it to $500 thank goodness.
So I spent money that I didn't know I didn't have and basically screwed myself over in the process. For this month the only thing I can really spend money on is gas and it's really bringing me down. What I had left that could go towards the condo mortgage is gone. I don't want to deplete my savings entirely so much as I hate to I'm going to have to suck it up and use the money hubby gave me to get the condo mortgage paid. I'd like to pay him back but I don't know if or when that will be possible. I was finally going to take a class in the fall but now I don't even know if I'll have the money for it. I can't afford to do much of anything on my own and I don't even want to go out anywhere with hubby. I love the fair and I never miss it but I'm not even feeling excited about that because hubby will have to pay for it all. I think I will go ahead and do a happy hour at our spot in July because it's so cheap I can spend $6 and eat cheese for free. With hubby being gone I'll want to get out and do SOMETHING. I have to reschedule a dinner date with L because she canceled. Other then that I will be staying home and using up as little gas as possible. I'll miss his family reunion in August. I think that we should still do our little road trip in September because I won a free 2 night hotel stay and it makes no sense not to use it. I absolutely do not want to go to this possible trip to the mountains his friends have planned for Aug or Sept. I won't have money for it and I think the costs will add up. I'll feel bad if hubby really wants to go but it's absolutely not in my budget. That pretty much takes care of this year. I'll worry about what to do about Christmas later. Hubby has been talking up Europe for next year but sadly I don't think it's going to be possible for me so I'll probably end up ruining that trip too. What a drag of a wife I'm turning out to be.
I did pretty good at dinner with my friend Wednesday night. During the day for some reason I just wasn't as ravenous as usual so I was able to forgo most of my work snacks. By the time I got done with my hair appointment I was double ravenous to make up for it. The restaurant we chose is right next to a Mexican restaurant and part of me wanted to go there instead and gorge myself on tortilla chips, Quesadilla and beer but I fought it and we stuck to Applebee's where I got my Weight Watchers Asiago Peppercorn steak meal for 380 calories. I was still going to be under budget for the day and they have fat free Italian so I added a side salad. I ended the day at 892 calories which is awesome for a dining out day. L cancelled on me for Friday night, which was good because I really wasn't in the mood, so I've had PBJ with pretzels for the last two nights. My pretzel addiction is so out of control. I've been through I don't know how many bags of pretzels while hubby has been gone. I ate my Fiber 1 this morning and have been munching on pretzels. I won't be eating anything else until I am with hubby. I'm 112.5 today which is OK I guess.
I pick him up at 6pm. I really, really miss him. He'll be barely home for a week before he leaves again. I'm just going to try really hard not to be a Debbie downer. I'm going to be broke and totally limited on anything I do or buy for at least the rest of this year. Once I get used to it it'll get easier but it's just really bumming me out right now.
it pains me that you beat yourself up so bad about "taking" money from your husband. I am married and our finances are totally together. he works, I don't, AND I'm in control of the money. I don't manage it all that well. I'm also out of town at the moment, we're going to a wedding. Our good GOOD friend, (the boy) is marrying and I don't KNOW they're financial situation, but she's like 10 years younger and I'm pretty sure hes the MAIN money maker. In fact, I'm gonna ask him cuz now I'm curious. Because I have another girlfriend who is married and she and her husband have separate finances and it works for them (kinda) but she makes more and they aren't SO strict with sharing or letting each other pay for something that the other normally does.... it just seems to me like that if the roles were reversed you'd help him. Or if you didn't want to, it's because, you shouldn't have to because you're the girl, but then that means he SHOULD be able to take care of himself AND you. I'm NOT a feminist. I'm also not like some religious home-schooling robot who is a slave to the husband to earn my keep. But aren't you guys a team? you gotta LET him be the man does that make sense?
ReplyDeletejust my opinion. I'm not trying to be the expert on finances in a marriage. if ours were separate, and he like, gave me an allowance, we'd probably be in better shape. but we're surviving and we're on vacation right now so it's tight but we're managing.
Hi - I just want you to know my hubby is so much like you in that he always worries about money and budgeting (thank god bc that is why we have money) and he is obsessed with cleaning. I on the other hand am not so good in these areas. Not sure how long you and your husband have been married but when we first were I didn't tell him how bad I was with finances and I ended up telling him some lies... Anyway, it was for the best because it forced us to realized he was better at managing things and now he does and I do get money each week. He is also 12 years older then me and makes much more $. Anyway, I think over time you and hubby will get a better system working more together to deal with money but bc money is such an emotional issue it usually takes time to get there like it did with us. Maybe you will budget all the money you guys make at some point because it is VERY hard to have those skills and be so good at it. My husband is so much like you in many ways that from reading your words and blog I have learned to be much more compassionate towards him and understand he is not trying to be some jerk and worry about money and clean the house constantly. I used to be so hard on him because we have enough money but I never understood how emotional it is for him to spend it and how he NEEDS to have certain amount in savings. Anyway, you really helped me not only lose weight but improve my marriage and that has been a huge gift to me.
ReplyDeleteI definitely find it interesting that you and your husband don't share finances. Why is that?
ReplyDeleteI also find it interesting that you feel guilty/dependent when you ask your husband for money. At the same time, I can definitely relate. I hate asking for things, it makes me feel like a burden and I prefer to handle my own problems. But don't feel too bad about it. I mean, you guys share the condo and I'm sure your husband doesn't want to see you struggle with finances, especially when he's away a lot. Don't feel like you have to handle everything on your own.
ReplyDeleteOMG.. Those people SUCK!!! 1000 dollars to clean a flat?? WTF is that all about.. And that without consulting you?? It's stupid and annoying.. I really hope they reduce it to 500.. Still too much but better than 1000... And then they don't even tell you about the checks?? ARGH.. Stupid ppl..
ReplyDeleteI ttly understand that you react the way you did hon. No matter how the income is, we all rely on it being on time, and plan on how to use it to pay things with.. And something like this is stressing.
I am sorry that you feel bad about this, but I am glad you talked to your hubby about the finances. It is good to be able to talk to someone about it. As hard as it might be, we all need a helping hand some times. In my opinion you should take the class in fall. I don't think you have mentioned what class but still. Do it for your self and you will feel better coming out of it eventhough you might need the financial help to get to it.
Oh honey I hope you feel better soon. And that you find a way around the finances that make you feel better.
*hugs*