Lazy

Hubby was too tired for brunch Sunday so that was actually a good thing.  I did not need to be faced with that.  Last night I told hubby I was going downstairs to eat and didn't.  When I weighed myself I was 118.5!!  For eats so far that day I'd had non fat frozen yogurt and had a healthy bowel movement so I was kind of surprised that my weight had gone up so much.  It meant no dinner.  Which was only supposed to be a sandwich anyways but seeing that number told me not to have even that.  I grabbed a few tortilla chips (140 cals), a piece of string cheese (80 cals) and 1 pecan twirl (100 cals).  Technically, I probably could have just eaten the sandwich right!  It's psycological though.  A sandwich feels too meal like and with the other stuff it feels more like a snack which is more acceptable.  And I know that if I'd eaten the sandwich I still would have wanted the little snacks on the side so this way at least I cut out the sandwich.  Yogurt to me is pretty satisfying anyways so I didn't need much more anyhow.  It is not yoplait kind of yogurt it's peanut butter and coffee flavored yogurt, non fat, and it's in a good sized portion. It's delicious.  I can use it as a meal easy.  In fact, I would love to go on a non fat frozen yogurt diet where I eat that for dinner every night after restricting.  They are about $3.50 each so I guess it would add up but I could cut costs by only eating half at a time. 

I did ok last week with hubby's dinner that he finally made on Wednesday.  It was stir fry.  The problem with hubby is that he's such a good cook that everything he makes tastes like it came out of a restaurant.  This beef and broccoli stir fry was so good!  Wednesday night I had a small portion then I ate a small portion of it for dinner the next day too so I was pleased with myself.  Hubby finished it off last night so it's GONE!  But tonight is.....burger night!!!  They are very lean though-only 150 cals per patty.  Jeez, I don't know how I am not the size of a house right now.  Eating minimally at work seems to be the key for me right now.  Along with portion control-which I've been doing pretty good with-for now at least.  I sort of have to talk myself through it and tell my self NO when I am tempted to get seconds.  I am doing just as good a job of maintaining my weight now as I did when I was starving and exercising my butt off non stop.  Now, I do neither one of those.  Go figure.  If only I'd known that it was possible.  I do have to be very careful not to go overboard and there are plenty of times when I am so hungry I want to eat my left arm.  I've accepted that hunger is to be a part of my life, but it's not to the extreme all or nothing that it used to be which means I must have found some sort of balance.  Somehow.  No matter how tenuous.

Now, if I could only get my lazy butt motivated enough to up the ante and throw some exercise in the mix....You'd think that my upcoming wedding would motivate me.  But when everyone keeps telling you how skinny you are sometimes you get a little complacent.  A little lazy.  When my pants fit tight or I know that number is going way up you best believe I get all the motivation in the world to be strict with my intake.  I still have not managed to do what it would take to get down to 115.  Funny, how that's only TWO measly little pounds but it would take so much work to get there and stay there.