Can We Afford This House?

Yesterday was so stressful. We got the numbers for the house we are trying to get. The monthly mortgage payment was sky high. There is no way we should take on a mortgage like that. I started feeling bummed out. Like, what the hell are we going to do? Live in a 400 square foot studio for the rest of our lives? I am embarrassed to invite people over as it is and our wedding is in July. Family will be in town. Not only do they want a place to stay but they are going to want to see where we live and I don't want it to be in a box. Hubby and I have been talking about this for so long and we want it so bad.

If we don't get a house this year I don't think it's going to happen. I told hubby that if we want this house we have to come up with 20K to make the numbers reasonable. If not then we have to walk away because even with that it's gonna be tight. I am not willing to super max our budget to the point of collapse. So, I am basically going to give up my life savings so we can make this work. Not that hubby isn't putting a lot of money into this but it only took him a year to save up what's taken me my whole life to save. After buying my car there is only 10k left and after this it will be GONE!! I will have nothing to fall back on. We will have nothing to get our refrigerator and washer/dryer with and forget about any extras on the wedding. We are lucky to have one at all. Oh, and FORGET about Europe for our honeymoon. SO not happening. We hope to go somewhere but Europe is out of the question.

People think I'm crazy for being such a fanatic about money and finances but in my world money does not grow on trees and every single penny counts. I don't make a lot of money but I know how to save it and now that we need it at least I have it to give. You don't save money by dipping into it every time you feel like it. I have not touched that money over the years for random reasons. I have said no to shopping and trips all the while that money has been sitting there because that is what I have to do in life in order to have anything. I don't expect any lucky breaks, a big raise or a lottery win to happen anytime soon so that is why I am the way I am. I've been saving since I was 16 years old. Over the years have only touched that money for specified purchases that matter. I used it for my car. And now I am using it for our house.

I hate to let go of that money and was going to let it sit but if its needed I am glad that I can contribute. I have felt so useless during the course of our relationship because of my low income and inability to save much or buy much. I told him it's his job to save and right now it's my job to pay the bills in the house. While I still can. I've lived here by myself all this time and I can manage it and so that's exactly what I've continued to do. It makes me feel like we really are a team.

Hubby has had such a care free attitude about savings and money. He went through a time in his early Army days when he was young, poor, and struggling. It didn't take long for him to land a job paying 60K+ and I don't think he looked back. He spent money like water. If he wanted it he got it. Then, while deployed he did save but he didn't go 100% like I knew he needed to. He spent money on me. He bought some random things but toward the end he did stop spending. We had no idea exactly what this house hunt would require. If it were me I would have had a huge savings account already with job paying that much. I would have gone hard 110% while I was overseas making boo koo bucks and I would not have waited this long to go back to work. Every single penny counts. I just think he's always gotten what he wants. He thought it would be easier then this to get a house and that it would come as easy as everything else in his life has.

Not me. I am used to struggling. I am used to having to jump every hurdle and scrimp and pinch to make things work. So this year might be difficult for him having to really limit and budget but I think he trusts me when I say what we can and can't afford and what we need to do in order to keep our finances in check. He was supposed to go to Vegas AGAIN for a bachelor party but that's not going to happen now and it was him who ultimately made that decision. One of the reasons that I love him so much is that he is willing to change a little. He may have done things a certain way before but he is willing to focus more on budget and savings now if that's what needs to be done. He has done a great thing saving up all that money for us. I am grateful and I can't fault him for not being as disciplined as me. It may come naturally for me but I can't expect everyone to adhere to my rigor.

For me this is no different then any other year. You sacrifice. You don't always get what you want. And you save. Even if you can't think of any particular reason to do so.