Broke As A Joke

I really suck. I don't know why my husband even bothers with someone like me. I have all but wiped out my savings to get a car with better gas mileage. I have had to put $1300 so far on my credit card for my warranty and floor mats but anticipate more charges of about $600 that have to do with turning in my current lease. This is the first time I've had credit card debt above what I can pay off in a month or two in a long time. I only spend what I can afford and haven't had to make any large household purchases or otherwise in a while.

Hubby bought me my Mac laptop or else I wouldn't have that and gave me $3800 for this new car. We have a trip to see his family coming in December, a wedding to plan, a honeymoon, and a trip to my little sis's graduation planned for next year. I have nary a dime to put towards any of that. I am basically useless. I make enough to cover my monthly bills, gas, groceries, and a little bit of extra for some small things that might make me happy but that's it. I can only afford to save about $175 per month so it will be virtually impossible to ever replenish my savings with the 14k I just blew through for the car.

Hubby wanted to go to Vegas in December so I could meet some of his work friends. I was like, "Are you kidding me?" I am planning a special anniversary outing for us. It's the least I can do. Christmas alone is gonna kick my butt and I barely have money to pay for the other trips we have planned. I still have to come up with the $435 for my plane ticket for the December trip. He says I don't have to pay him back but haven't I taken enough money from him already? I think so. I think he should go to Vegas anyways. No sense in staying home just because his wife is a broke looser. In fact, if it were based on my budget there would be no wedding or honeymoon either for that matter. I just feel like such dead weight to him and I find it utterly unbelievable that he can even love someone like me. I knew I should've married someone who worked at McDonald's. One, because I really don't deserve any better and two because at least I wouldn't be holding anyone back that way.

I am feeling very sad and negative right now, but eventually it will pass. I am up .5 today which I am not surprised about in the least. I was wondering when I would start gaining. I am going to probably pick up some water pills though at some point. I had my coffee this morning and didn't even have to pee until about 12pm and when I did it wasn't very clear. I am probably back to retaining water again.