How Low Can You Go?

I seriously don't know what is going on. I am not even really trying. Ok, I kind of am, but I am not exercising and I am just doing normal restricting which is kind of what I can't seem to help doing anyways. I remember back in the day my goal weight was always 110 and I did reach it although it didn't last long. My body usually fights me pretty hard on this. I don't think that weight loss comes easily to me which is why I am surprised to find myself at 113.5 today. I didn't think 115 will last and I don't think this will either.

Last night I ate my left over lasagna from Tuesday's lunch. As I was putting it onto a plate I was aware of how physically heavy the food was. I thought about how I am going to now be putting that heavy plate of food into my body and how disgusting that is but I did it anyways. I thought about eating only half of it but other then a PBJ I hadn't eaten anything else all day, so I figured I needed it. I am really not trying to totally starve myself because I want to be healthy and I already know that doesn't really work anyhow. I ate 1 of the 2 remaining pieces of french bread and had a diet soda. It was delicious! I just told myself I'd deal with the scale later but for once there actually were no consequences. When that happens I always feel like I got away with something. I've been so preoccupied and stressed about looking for and spending all this money on a car. I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I did get one last night and I am just so glad that's over.

I guess we'll see what happens when I go out to eat the next time and how that will affect this weight. I am thinking that will be the end of it.