Calories: 789
Exercise: 350
 |
| 116 lbs |
My body is athletic when I wish it were lean and runway model worthy. I could definitely do a lot worse but why is that I always just wish I could do better. Why is it never enough? I am constantly fighting my body. I really don't even know what size I'd be if I just ate whatever whenever naturally. The last time I sort of just didn't care so much I got up to about 123. As the weight inched past 125 I got nervous and the whole restriction cycle started all over again and probably stayed around 119 for a while. 125 used to be my panic number and it's since gone down to 120 and now anything past 118 is fat and uncomfortable. I've not topped 125 since 2007 and that didn't last for very long because I couldn't stand it. Other then that for the better part of the last decade I've been around 120 ish. Mostly under. And to think that once upon a time I was 150. A long time ago when making 3 giant pancakes for breakfast on a Saturday morning and washing it down with a big glass of milk was the norm. Then in College it was Dominoe's pizza a couple nights a week and McDonald's-before they had salads! It was that number that triggered all of this madness once and for all and caused me to lose weight over a long period of time. Then, I just took it way further then I ever imagined I could. I wonder if I just stopped caring how high I would naturally go. What size am I really? I'm way too scared to find out.
Just be thankful that you are what you are at the moment. Try not to worry about the past or the future. The past HAS been, the future will come no matter what you do. :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes thinking too much is harmful to our state of mental health.
You look gorgeous!! And you are lean!! Especially arms and shoulders...To die for. Absolutely fab!
Take pride in how far you pushed yourself, you've done what many people cannot.
Be positive! :D
you look simply amazing! every inch of you looks like absolute perfection!!! you should be proud that you are have a lean athletic build.
ReplyDeletetry to keep a positive attitude about yourself...don't beat yourself up!
Damn girl... you look INCREDIBLE! Maybe you don't see it, but trust the rest of us on this! Your stomach is so flat and toned! You're little, itty bitty.
ReplyDeleteYou are LEAN girl! I can't believe you don't have to spend hours and hours in the gym ever week. you'e my thinspiration!
ReplyDeleteI think you look good - but i know EXACTLYwhat you mean about having a curvy athletci build I have it too. no matter what I do (how much i starve) i will always have the shape of a figure 8 instead of a straint line.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious what was your body like when you were 150? where did you carry most of your weight? and did you notice a huge change at all in your legs between 150 and 116?
you give me hope :)
~ Harlow
You look absolutely incredible!! I wish I looked like you.... personally, I would rather have the curvy, atheletic build that you have over a model body-- and actually- you DO have a model body-- one that you would see in a fitness magazine! You should be proud of how hard you work to look the way you do. Do mind my asking how tall you are? And you used to be 150? Is that true?! Wow! I am impressed! I am a bit over 150 and 5'4" and I HATE my body. I am so fat and unmuscular! How long did it take you to go from there to here?
ReplyDeleteWow, you do look great. And I know exactly how you feel. I have a more athletic build as well, and am the exact same weight (though 2 inches shorter, so more fat, love handles, and my legs still touch, eew) but even when I lose weight I'm never going to be model skinny, which is what I want. I start counting my weight at its highest at 159, so I totally get the transformation. Good luck, You're doing awesome!
ReplyDeleteI've said it before and I'll say it a thousand times...you look amazing!!
ReplyDeleteGirl...damn. you're body is banging. I love your stomach. way to be awesome.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean...what is our natural weights? Such a strange thought.
Wow, you look incredible!
ReplyDeletexoxo
You look amazing. Very toned. It's funny I can totally relate to this post. I used be around 150 thanks to eating out and sitting on my butt all the time before I got down to the hundred teens. I'm back up past 120 and I'm realizing that I need to set a lower "panic" number.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is really inspiring.
WOW. Your body is PERFECT. Those photos are exactly where I want to be: lean, toned, athletic. Flat tummy, toned arms, leg gap. HOLY CRAP I am in awe. Stupendous work, <3RaeLynn
ReplyDelete